


You Had Me At "Methamphetamine"

by PorkChop



Series: Make You My Normality [1]
Category: Grand Theft Auto V
Genre: But good things will happen too I promise, Character Death, Drug Use, F/M, Methamphetamine, Most likely some smut, Pretty Angsty I Guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-05
Updated: 2015-03-01
Packaged: 2018-02-19 23:49:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 62,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2407394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PorkChop/pseuds/PorkChop
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When did it all go so wrong? One day I was happily cooking enough meth to supply all the addicts in Murrieta Heights, the next I'm trying to survive in a world full of hillbillies and psychopaths. I don't quite know who's fault it is, my own for getting into this business in the first place, or my dimwitted but much loved sidekick, Randy, for putting me in the desert.</p>
<p>A first person story with two major OCs. The point of view will switch between my original female character and Trevor when I see fit :)</p>
<p>Also, I suck at summaries.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Series Of Unfortunate Events

**Author's Note:**

> So here we go, I'm actually posting something with a plot rather than just plain porn! Crazy, right? 
> 
> This will be my second Trevor/OC multi chapter story, and hopefully people will enjoy it! I watched breaking bad and had an overwhelming urge to write a story with a meth cook, so there may be some bb influence on the story :P
> 
> PS. We meet Trev in like, chapter threeish in case you're wondering :)

I couldn't help the weary sigh that escaped me, my eyelids were heavy and they drooped as I willed myself to keep my foot on the pedal and my eyes on the road. I reached for the bag of potato chips on the dash and shoveled a handful into my mouth, before sighing again, but louder this time and with an angrier edge as the days events refused to stop replaying in my head. 

"Oh, cheer the hell up. It could be a lot worse you know." My companion spoke from the passenger seat of the black Vapid Speedo I drove, I slowly turned to look at him with a dead expression.

"You any idea how much money I lost today?" My voice was low and monotonous and I could feel the almost demonic look in my eyes as I stared at him. 

"I dunno, a couple thousand?" The man beside me said, sounding fearful for his own life after seeing the glare he was being given. 

"A couple hundred thousand, dickwad. And it's your stupid fault." I peeled my eyes away and looked back to the road, fists clenching tighter around the wheel. 

"Come on Em' I'm sorry! I've said it loads, I didn't think they would follow me back, I thought I'd lost them!" He pleaded in a whiney voice and I couldn't resist rolling my eyes. 

"Whatever, Randy. I get that you're sorry, I just... I've been saving that money for so fucking long! And after today, everything's just fucked! Completely fucking fucked!" I bit my lip as I felt the prickly sensation of tears wanting to be shed, but swallowed them back for the umpteenth time that day. I don't cry. Randy looked down at his lap and held his tongue. I'd never seen him show any real remorse for anything, until now. He looked uncharacteristically guilty. 

Silence fell over us as I drove. I'd been driving for hours, putting as much distance between us and the cops as possible, searching for somewhere to stay. We'd left the freeway a while ago, and were now driving through what appeared to be looking more and more like a desert as time went on. The night sky was much clearer here than it was in the pollution riddled city, the orange glow I was accustomed to was replaced with a blanket of stars. If I wasn't so angry at the whole situation, I might have said it was beautiful. 

"So uh, where we going?" Randall was the first to break the silence, taking a cautious glance over at me through his stupidly long lashes. In the past I'd been jealous of those lashes, back when I cared about pointless things like pretty eyelashes.

"I don't know." I simply said, never shifting my eyes from the cracked road before me. 

"We need to stop somewhere soon, you're tired and need to rest." Concern slipped into his tone, and he patted me on the shoulder comfortingly. I glanced at his hand and hid a smile. Sure, he'd done the worlds stupidest thing today, but Randy was my partner and my best friend. He was also like a little brother to me, and I always felt compelled to protect him, much to his dismay. I sure as hell couldn't stay mad at the fool. 

I didn't say anything though, I just nodded. Another ten minutes down the road and we were brought to a small neighbourhood, or trailer park might be a more fitting description. The van rolled to a stop outside the entrance, allowing us to read the blue sign that stood there. Sandy Shores. 

"How's this place look?" I glanced at Randall, who was scanning the area with curious eyes. 

"'S as good a place as any." He shrugged, and that was all the confirmation I needed. I drove in, and began circling the place in search of a motel or anywhere we could sleep. I finally found one...

"Is this place even in business?" I screwed my face up at the derelict building. The place looked like it'd been hit by a bomb. Literally.

"Dunno, maybe we should ask one of the squatters over there?" Randy said sarcastically, giving me an answer in his usual roundabout way. I rolled my eyes and pulled into the parking lot anyway, cutting the engine.

"Screw it, I'm sleeping in the back." I jumped out of the seat as I opened the door, and made my way around to the back of the van where I swung open the double doors. 

"But all the stuff's in there." he called from inside, leaning out the open window. 

"I'll make room. Shouldn't be too hard since we ditched all that useless, space consuming money, right?" I made a dark joke, and glanced over the boxes full of equipment we'd managed to save in the small window we had between taking out the surrounding cops, and reinforcements turning up. I began pushing them back to make some room, some were heavier than others and some made rattling sounds as glass touched glass in the cardboard confines. Soon enough I'd made a little space and crawled in, shutting the doors behind me. 

"Hey, Emily." Randy was whispering now, and was talking through the mesh that separated the front seats from the storage at the back. 

"What?" I said lazily, frowning. I just wanted to sleep. I had one arm drooped over my eyes as I lay back on the cold metal floor. 

"I'm thinking we should set up shop in here." He tapped the headrest on his seat, "Working out the back of the van might be good for us, it's harder for the cops to catch us at least."

"I don't know what we're gonna do Rands, ask me in the morning. I'll know then." I said quietly with a sigh, just wanting to sleep. I was never any good at thinking up ideas when sleep deprived. Working out of the van didn't sound like an awful idea though. It might be a bit tight, but it was better than nothing. We had all the stuff we needed in here anyway.

"Alright, night Em'." He turned around, sitting back on his seat.

"Night." 

The heat was what woke me. I rolled over onto my back, at some point I'd shifted onto my stomach and trapped an arm between my chest and the floor. I shook my hand around, trying to get some blood flow back into the numb appendage. Short, white-blond strands of hair stuck to my face, sticky with sweat. The first thing I did was pull off my long sleeved shirt, revealing the sports bra I wore beneath which I often wore as a crop top on hot days, I sighed as the air hit my clammy skin. I pushed the back doors of the van open, and stepped out into the baking sun. I'd never been this hot. 

"Jesus..." I mumbled to no one in particular, squinting around at my surroundings. The sun reflected blindingly off of the sandy floor, doubling the heat. 

I sighed and reached into my combat pants pocket, pulling out a squashed pack of Redwoods and a lighter. I popped a cigarette between my thin pink lips and lit it, inhaling the stuff I hadn't realised I'd been craving. I stretched my back, which was sore after spending the night on the rough floor of the van, groaning quietly as it cracked in multiple places. 

"Randy!" I yelled as I made my way around to the front of the van, banging on the side of it with my fist as I went. I heard a grunt from inside, and smirked when I came to the window and saw the fool's face pressed up against the glass, damp with drool. The man was startled awake when I tapped on the glass. 

"Wakey wakey, we've got shit to do!" I yelled in a sing song voice through the window, before circling the van to the drivers seat, closing the back doors as I went. I flicked my cigarette to the ground and let myself in, grabbing the keys off the dash and starting up the engine as Randy rubbed his eyes beside me. 

"What're we doing?" He said groggily. 

"Well I'm dying for a piss, so that's first on the agenda. I saw a liquor store round here last night, those places usually have toilets, right?" I said as I pulled out of the parking lot. Remembering where to go, I followed the roads on the way to the store. 

"Sure, sometimes." He said through a yawn. 

It was only a matter of minutes before we pulled up across the street outside the store. I glanced at the faded sign which read Liquor Ace as I hopped out of the van, making my way across the street and into the building. I avoided the eye contact of the group of grubby men that loitered outside, who ogled me as I walked by. The cooling air from a fan hit me as I entered, I sighed happily as the breeze met my hot skin. I walked up to the counter, behind which nobody stood. I waited a moment, looking through the window into the next room behind the counter. After a few moments a bald man appeared through the glass, wearing a black apron and gloves. I saw that he was carrying a garbage bag as he walked into the room I was waiting in. He stopped dead in his tracks when he noticed me. 

"We're closed." he said suddenly, staring at me through his glasses with wide eyes. Panic, was what I saw in them. 

"Oh, I'm sorry. The door was open so I assumed you were open..." I replied, my eyes following him as he stormed to the door and looked out, his eyes scanning the area.

"It was open? Fuck. I told him to lock it..." He almost whispered, and the last part was said mostly to himself. I made my way over to him, suppressing my urge to frown at the mans unusual behaviour. 

"I won't be a minute, I was just wondering if-" I stopped mid sentence as I finally smelt it. It was an unmistakable smell. A strong chemical aroma, with sulphur and ether all mixed into one scent which I recognised instantly. "if there was a restroom I could use." I slowly continued and narrowed my eyes at the man, cogs reeling in my head. 

"There isn't, sorry. We're closed so I have to ask you to go." he quickly held the door open and gestured for me to leave. I did so without another word. A little smirk found its way to my face as I made for the van. It had all come together and clicked, the apron, the gloves, the smell... I could recognise a meth cook when I saw one. After all, I'd been one for the last seven years.


	2. Panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Randy done goofed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter! Thank you so much for the kudos and comments on the first chapter, I hope I can make this story a good read for you :)

"Are you sure it's not in there?" I called back from the drivers seat of the van before sucking a mouthful of my chocolate milkshake through the chewed up straw. 

"It's not in any of these boxes, Em. Just all the cooking stuff we got. You did pick it up when we ran, right?" Randy's voice came through the mesh wall behind me and I sighed at his words. 

"I had it on me the entire time, what do you think I was using to cull the little piggies? It's definitely there somewhere. Keep looking." I answered with a little bite to my words. That boy couldn't find shit if it landed on his face. 

"Fine." He said with a huff, before he continued to rumage through the back of the van. 

It had been almost an hour since Randy and I had started searching for the small silver handgun. I'd given up long ago, having little patience and a dire need for something chocolatey. Turns out my trip to the local 24/7 store and a short walk around Sandy Shores still hadn't given poor Randy enough time to find what he was looking for. We needed that gun though. It wasn't a vital part of the plan I'd been brewing for the last week after my encounter with who I suspected to be the local meth cook, but it was a safety precaution. The plan was nothing elaborate, no way. It was simply a little in and out job to confirm or disprove my suspicions, and hopefully give us a better understanding of just how big this operation was. See if we can take them down and take the meth'd up hillbillies of Sandy Shores for our own. It was boisterous and downright cheeky, but if we could take over, we'd be making back my money little by little before the week was out.

"It's useless, I can't find it. I'm giving up." Randy said with a sigh, I glanced up at the rearview mirror and watched him shift to sit down on the edge of the van. I sighed and looked around me, pausing when I spotted the glovebox on the side opposite to me. Shit. I reached over and pulled it open, and hey presto. There she was. 

"Oh, err, Randy? It's okay, I found it." I said sheepishly, with a little smirk on my face I held the silver pistol up so he could see. 

"Where was it?" The defeated tone in his voice made me think he'd already guessed. 

"Glovebox." I told him, lowering the gun and turning it over in my hands. The cold metal was nice against my hot skin.

"'N' none of us thought to check there first? Jesus..." He spoke through barred teeth with an angry sigh. 

"It's okay, 'least we're ready now." I said in a more positive tone of voice, turning to look at him. 

"You mean I'm ready. You're just gonna sit on your ass all day drinking shakes." He replied bitterly. 

"Hey, you know I don't deal with this stuff. I cook, think of ideas and take care of the business side of it. You deal with this shit. That's the agreement. Don't like it? Fuck off." I retorted, maybe a little too harshly but there you go.

"If you didn't pay me so well then maybe I would." 

"Woah. Okay. What happened to the loyalty? We're partners, Randall." I frowned. Arguments like this were becoming more and more common. It would worry me if I weren't so confident in my partner.

I felt the van shift as he moved, and moments later he was at my side, leaning through the open window. He rest his chin on his forearms and looked at me apologetically.

"I'm sorry. You know I won't ever quit, right? I'm here as long as you'll have me, Em." He said quietly, and I couldn't stop the little smile that appeared on my face. 

"You wanna go over the plan again?" I asked, turning to look at him. He nodded and stood back up straight. 

"Okay, I'm gonna be parked here, right across the street, and I'll text you if anything goes wrong. But I don't think it will, I've been watching this place like a hawk and I think I've got the guy's routine down." I told him, my observations had given me a good idea of when the 'cook' was in and out. We should be fine. "Now, you've gotta get in there, there's a stairway 'round the back which leads to a roof. You've broken into enough houses to be a pro so I'll let you do your thing there. Once you're in, take a good look around. I need to know if I'm right in thinking that place is a lab."

He nodded, "Okay, got it."

"Right, and try to get an idea of how big this operation is... Like, does it look like a rookie lab or do they have all the proper equipment and stuff, you'll be able to get an idea of what we're dealing with. And if you can get any info on who's running the place, that'd be great too."

"Right, and the gun?" He nodded to the pistol in my hand.

"A precaution. You shouldn't have to use it, only in an emergency. If I tell you the guy's coming back, get out of there. Don't wait around to shoot him or anything stupid like that. If we are going to take over the business, last thing we want is them knowing about us. They'll be on their guard then."

"Yeah yeah, right. I think I got it." He nodded, hopping about from foot to foot, staring intently forwards at nothing. This was how he psyched himself up for something, I'd seen it time after time back in the day when we used to rob rich people's houses.

"Think you're ready?" I asked, and he looked up at me with a pumped expression.

"I guess so." He smirked, and I grinned back.

"Okay. Good luck." He nodded and I handed him the gun, purposely keeping hold of it for a moment to grab his attention. "Remember, emergencies. Don't kill anyone."

He rolled his eyes and snatched the pistol from me. "Yes, mom." Then he was jogging across the street towards the store.

_

"I killed him." Randall told me in a panicked yell as he threw himself into the van, tossing the gun into my lap like it was too hot to touch any longer.

"You what?!" My eyes widened and I quickly started up the engine after hearing the news.

"I panicked!" He shouted, wiping his sweaty hands on his jeans.

"You did precisely what I told you not to do!" I said in disbelief as I drove like a maniac away from the scene.

"The place is a lab, Em. I- I got your text... Then I heard footsteps up the stairs. I was about to get out but- but I don't know! I couldn't decide which window would be quicker to get out of and- and by then he was already there... And I just shot him!" He rushed to explain, gesturing wildly with his hands which were shaking hard.

"Was he definitely dead?" I tried for a calmer tone of voice.

"Yes. Not many people survive a shot to the head." 

"Well at least there's that..." I sighed, concentrating on the road.

"Fuck... I'm sorry!" He turned and stared at me with wide eyes.

"Right. It's okay, it's fine. Just calm down, okay? Gimme a minute to think." I tried to calm down and drive like a sane person, but that wasn't happening so I opted to pull over somewhere before I killed us both. I spotted a bar just up the road and turned in, parking in the near-empty car park.

"What are we gonna do?" Randy asked, chewing on his thumb nail.

"I don't know... If someone saw you then there's no way we can stay here." I pondered aloud, glancing over at the bar which was apparently named the Yellow Jack Inn. It looked like the type of place that, if it served food, it would give you violent food poisoning. That was the only way I could describe it.

"I don't think they did..."

"What about cameras though? You came barrelling out the shop's entrance instead of out the window. There's probably cameras on the shop floor." I warned, dragging a hand through my pin straight hair.

"Shit... Shit, fuck! What about the police?" A new shade of panic bleached his voice.

"If the place is a meth lab, I don't think they're going to call the police, Randy. I'm more concerned about the people running it."

"Oh fuck, we need to go. I don't wanna get killed for this shit!" He yelled.

"For fucks sake Randall, calm down! You won't get killed! I won't let that happen. Get a grip!" I yelled back, and he seemed to shrink in his seat. "Just... We can't go anywhere right now, okay? We ain't got a lot of gas in the truck, we'll need to go back at some point and fill 'er up. I suggest we just stay around here for a few days, let the dust settle a bit. Alright?"

"Alright."

"Just stop panicking. It fucks me off."

"Alright."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure you probably gathered, but just in case anyone didn't, it was Chef who Randy done did the kablangy shootsying to. I hope I made that clear! Let me know what you think, always happy to hear feedback :)


	3. First Impressions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's in Trevor's point of view, but I'm sure you could figure that out :P

All I wanted was a quiet drink, no bullshit. Sure, I wanted to find the little bastard who fucked me over, but not now. I hadn't even decided on how I was going to kill him yet. Disembowelment or decapitation? Disembowelment and then decapitation? It was a toughie. Anyway, I'd had a shitty week and all I wanted was some shitty beer to make it all okay. Normally I'd stay home and drink myself into a coma, but Ron was around and, eh, I didn't feel like listening to his nut job ramblings tonight.

So I get to the Yellow Jack Inn, order myself a drink, then bam. I look to my right and who do I see? The little shit bag who smoked Chef. Stupid hippy-looking long brown hair that he had tied in a pony tail and a ridiculous goatee? Definitely him. He's with some chick, girlfriend maybe? She's sitting between him and I, clutching what looked like an almost empty glass of the cheapest beer this place sold. I could tell by the wishy-washy colour and the bits floating around in it. She's a short little thing, straight blond hair, almost white, about chin length and cut in a way that made the ends look sharp enough to break skin. She's hot, shame about the tits though. Or rather lack thereof. Oh well, she did have some nice shapely hips and a good ass on her from what I could see, which makes up for it. I hoped to god she wasn't really his girlfriend, he was too much of a prick to be boning that.

"I ain't foolin' around this time Trevor. I've given you too many chances as it is, you cause trouble in my bar again and you're out for good." I grunted and peeled my eyes away from the girl's behind, turning to face to Janet, the barmaid.

"I wouldn't 'cause trouble' if you didn't let as many assholes in here." I took a swig of beer.

"These assholes are the only thing keeping this place running, why would I get rid of 'em just to keep you happy, Trevor?" Her voice was venom and it made me smile.

I was about to give her some snide answer, when the business fucker upper got up, following his short ass girlfriend to the door. I scowled in irritation, I wasn't done with my beer yet. I still wanted to at least try and enjoy my evening, but no. Here he was, calling the shots and rushing me. I wasn't about to let him leave without getting my answers, though. So I downed the last of my beer and got up to follow him.

"I'll pay for that later." I told Janet, and I could feel the hate radiating from her. Of course I wasn't gonna pay for it, and she knew it. Whatever. She was never gonna ban me, I'd always be back and she'd always just deal with it. That's how it goes.

I made a show of walking behind the couple so casually that it almost wasn't casual at all. Didn't want to scare them off right away, did I? As soon as I was a good distance away from the tavern and close enough to dickless over here, I had my fingers hooked in the neck hole of his T-shirt, and I yanked the son of a bitch backwards. He squealed like a pussy of course, but quickly shut up when his back slammed against the side of a nearby van.

"Who the fuck are you, huh? The fuck do you think you are, ya little shit!" I spat into his face, I could almost smell the shit in his pants.

"I- I- I'm nobody! What do you want? I'll give you money!" He was stuttering, looked like he was gonna cry.

"I don't want money, I want answers!" I pulled him forwards by his shirt then slammed him back against the black van.

"Help!" He yelled and I rolled my eyes. What a fucking pussy. Then she grabbed my arm, pulling me backwards. Or rather trying to.

"Get off of him you psychopath!" His girlfriend was yelling at me, and I was taken aback by how much I genuinely hated her voice.

"Fuck off!" I turned to glare at her, daring her. I have to admit she was pretty strong for a girl, and certainly wasn't put off easily. When I tried to yank my arm back she just moved with it, her claws digging into my skin.

"No! You fucking hurt him and I'll slit your throat!" Wow. I raised my brows at her, she had some stones talking to me like that. These pair can't have been from round here. Her nails were embedded deep into my arm, and when she dragged them down... Holy shit, it hurt more than it does sitting on your own balls.

"Jesus, lady!" I yelled, jerking away from the two. My arm was fucked up. The deep gouges were angry and raw, in seconds there was blood beading up here and there. It was like she'd calved into me with a knife. My hand twitched, aching to wrap around the handle of the AP pistol tucked into the side of my jeans.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Freak." There was her voice again. It was scratchy and sharp, hoarse like she had a sore throat all the time, and it always cracked mid sentence. Fucking obnoxious.

"Hold on, squeaky!" I growled, grabbing the girl's arm as she turned to leave with the slack jawed idiot in tow, she looked confused at the nickname, and tried to pull her arm away. "This wasn't just a random attack, this cunt fucked me over!"

"How?" The guy reminded me a bit of Wade to be honest, just the way he spoke. He didn't have the accent, just the slow slur of someone who's done too many drugs. I turned to him and scowled. 

"You know how. You killed someone who was very useful to me. A friend." I stalked towards him, getting all up in his face. He was a bit taller than me, but he wasn't any less intimidated.

"Oh shit..." He said, cowering away from me with a look of pure terror in his eyes.

"Yeah, you remember now?" I grabbed him suddenly by his throat, not squeezing hard enough to do any damage, but enough to scare the shit out of him. 

"Stop! Let's just talk like fucking adults!" The girl screeched into my ear, the shrill sound going right through me and making me shudder. I let go of the guy, I'd do anything for her, just to get her to shut up.

"You. Name." I pointed at the guy.

"R-Randy." He told me, rubbing his throat where my hand had been.

"You." I turned to her. She didn't say anything, she just stared at me with a glare. "What's your fucking name!?"

"Does it matter?" She retorted, being difficult just to fuck me off. God I hated her more than the kid who killed my cook. I took a deep breath and dipped my head, trying my very best not to swing for her. She's a girl, Trevor, just a girl. You don't hit girls.

"Emily." She finally said.

"Thank you." I said with a bite to my voice. "Trevor Philips." I gestured to myself, an uninterested look washed over her face and I sighed. She wanted to speak like adults.

"What makes you think that Randy killed your cook?" She asked, and I grinned.

"Well first of all I never mentioned anything about a cook." That got her, that stupid smug look on her face gone in seconds. "And secondly, he was the only mug on the security camera the day it all went down. He comes running out the shop like an idiot, gun in hand, shit in pants."

Silence. 

"So, I would like an explanation." I looked at him, raising my brows and waiting for an answer.

"It was an accident, man. I didn't mean to, I was just there cause she wanted me to look around." What an asshole, passing the blame onto the little lady. She glared at him.

"Oh? And why's that?" I looked expectantly at her.

"Listen, Randy and I made a mistake, just let us leave and you'll never see us again."

"I don't think so, not after the mess you've made of my business. What do you two do? Huh? Are you junkies just looking for a hit or is there more to this?" I asked, my voice raising just slightly above normal talking volume. I still hadn't got my answers, fucked if I was letting them out of my sight. She sighed, a defeated look on her face.

"We cook methamphetamine. Well, I cook it and he sells it." She jabbed a thumb at Randy. I got the feeling that she was the one in charge of their fucked up little partnership.

"Right, and you thought you could take down Trevor Philips Industries? Nu-uh, not happening sweetheart. Nobody fucks with my business. You know, you're lucky you're even still alive." Anger flared up within me, but I held back.

"We could work for you!" She suddenly said, her eyes lighting up like she had some sort of eureka moment. I snorted.

"I don't trust you as far as I could throw you. No thanks."

"No, seriously. We need work, you need a cook. You don't have much choice if you want to keep your business going." I paused. She had a point, annoyingly, even if it was their fault that I needed someone new in the first place. I'd killed pretty much every other cook in Blaine County, they were competitors. Now, it seemed, I was in a bit of a shitty situation thanks to my actions. Not that I regretted them, I'd made a lot of money as a result of them. I thought for a moment, then came to a conclusion I liked the taste of.

"Alright, I'll do you a deal. I don't find a new cook in a couple weeks? You're mine. If I do? You're dead, and so's your little lap dog." I nodded to the lanky fucker behind her.

"You'll kill us? If we're not needed?" She squinted, as if it was a hard concept to grasp. I nodded.

"Can't risk you coming to kill the next one, can we?" I patted her shoulder patronisingly, and she jolted away from my touch. She looked down for a moment, thinking, then looked up and met my eyes with a nod.

"Alright, deal." She grabbed my hand and shook it. Her hand was tiny compared to mine, and was so soft and delicate that I felt I could crush it in my own. The thought was washed away though, when I noticed the dried blood and skin under her nails, which she'd clawed from my arm just minutes ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, hello Trev! Hope you liked the chapter guys, and I also hope I kept Trevor pretty much in character :P


	4. Competition

"So who's doing this then?" Randy asked me, sounding somewhat worried. I peeled my eyes away from the blue pickup truck a few metres ahead to look at him. He was sat chewing on his knuckles, a nervous habit he'd always had.

"You want me to?" I asked, turning back to the car we were tailing.

"Yes. Please. This was your idea, you know what you're doing. I'd fuck it up." He sounded relieved, and I smiled in amusement.

"What makes you think you'd fuck it up?" 

"I don't exactly have a very long history of not fucking things up, do I?" He said honestly, I didn't say anything at all, but I knew it was true. Especially over these last few days.

"And you're sure this is the guy?" He asked me, for the twentieth time this morning.

"I'm positive. He was at the lab with Trevor. I watched him hand over a sample, for god's sake. He's a cook, so that means he's a competitor." I said confidently. I was sure. I was certain. I'd been in this business for long enough to recognise these things. 

Randy and I had been loitering around the lab a lot these past few days, after our run in with Trevor. We'd come to the conclusion that we weren't going to let someone else fill this vacancy, no matter the cost. We'd do what we had to do in this situation, it was was like survival of the fittest. We'd take out the competition. If we didn't, we'd be dead. There wasn't an awful lot of activity in the first few days, but that all changed this morning when a guy in a shitty looking blue pickup pulled up. The guy looked pretty old, wore a too small greasy tank top, had bigger tits than I did and had more hair on his chin than on his head. 

Trevor had met him there, Randy and I had watched their meeting from a safe distance, and if the two hillbillies were trying to be discrete, it wasn't working. They spoke for a while, then the fat guy handed Trevor a small bag full of powder, crushed up meth I supposed. Trevor turned around and did something out of view, and when he turned back he had this grin on his face. Subtle. If you're going to snort drugs in public, Trevor, try and make it less obvious. The whole thing was difficult to watch, Trevor might act like the big man but he was far from professional, or careful. It was like he wanted to get busted. The sooner we got involved, the better.

So now we were tailing the guy, he had to go. That handshake looked official, and I wasn't going to get killed because of this fat turd. We'd been driving through the desert for what felt like hours but was probably only about 45 minutes. Everywhere was too public, even in this wasteland. But then, to my relief, he turned down a dusty side road. I pulled up at the end as to not arouse suspicion. Turns out the road led to a single trailer. This looked like one of your more high end trailers in Blaine County, with a two car garage, a shed, and even a small boat which was strapped to a rusty trailer. The meth business must've been treating him well.

"Right. Here we go." I whispered to Randy as he handed me my pistol. I'd attached a suppressor just for this occasion.

I opened the door and slid out of my seat. I kept the gun hidden by my side, out of view from the man who had just got out of his pick up, and was now happily waddling up his garden path. I stopped just a few feet behind him, luckily he hadn't noticed my presence. I took a deep breath, raised my arm and got the back of his head clean in my sights, then without missing a beat, I fired the shot. The quiet 'pew' of the silenced pistol rang out in the open, followed almost immediately by the wet sound of the bullet's penetration. Fucking bullseye. I swallowed hard as I watched the man's limp body hit the floor, and told myself that this was our only option.

-

"Doesn't it bother you? Or- or shock you?"

"Not as much as it probably should." I gripped the steering wheel tightly as I drove Randall and I back to our usual spot outside the motel at Sandy Shores.

"It bothers me when I kill someone, a lot." Randy said quietly, eyes fixed forwards.

"I've killed a lot of people, I'm not exactly proud of it, but... It comes with the job." I told him. It was hard to feel any remorse for what I did. Killing people was hardly something I got used to, but became desensitised to. The only time I felt any real spark of emotion was the satisfaction which came with planting a bullet in the head of someone who deserved it.

"I guess it's like working at a morgue. Seeing death doesn't bother you as much after a while." Randy suggested, turning to look at me.

"I suppose so... Sort of." I shrugged, pulling into the motel carpark and rolling to a stop. "But being the one who's causing the death is different."

"You ever feel bad about it?" 

"Sometimes." I looked out of the window, focussing on a pair of coyotes nearby.

"I find I only feel bad about innocent people. Like that cook, the other day. I feel pretty shit about that." He said quietly.

"Meth cooks are hardly innocent people, Randy." I looked back at him.

"He never did anything to me, personally. To me, he's innocent. And I just shot him." He frowned to himself.

"Stop fucking beating yourself up. He was gonna get killed someday, being in this business. It was going to happen."

"At least the guy you killed was fucking with our plans. He deserved it, kind of."

"You think I've never killed an innocent person? It happens." I said bluntly. I'd been doing this for longer than Randy, and I often forgot that it took time to become so thick skinned.

We were both quiet for a while, the only sound was our even breathing in the stuffy van. It was midday, boiling hot, and my clothes clung to me. I probably stunk, but so did Randy so I wasn't so self conscious of the fact. I didn't have a lot of choice over my personal hygiene, considering I was homeless. Neither of us had showered in over a week, and we didn't have any clean clothes, or enough money to buy new ones. We were a mess. Our life was a mess. I lit up a much needed cigarette.

"We really need a place to live." I said monotonously, hanging onto the steering wheel, staring forwards at the wall of the motel, blowing out wisps of smoke with my words.

"Once we get in that lab, we'll be fine." Randy turned to me and gave me a comforting smile.

"You think there's a shower in there?" I asked hopefully, and he laughed and shrugged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My chapters have been pretty short so far, which is weird for me :P but hopefully I'll put out some longer ones in the future. 
> 
> Your comments are what motivates me the most to write more, so feedback is wonderful :3


	5. Fearless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter from Trevy's point of view, things are getting exciting :3

Maybe it was the potency of the crystal, or the almost suffocating boredom that plagued me, making the days merge together, but I could swear that this was the third time today that this same episode of impotent rage had been on. I grunted and turned the TV off. I sat up on the sofa and dug the heels of my hands into my eyes, rubbing them in circles to try and regain some clarity to my vision. I contemplated going out for a drive, but decided against that since I was just beginning to tweak, and that always wound me up so tight and I didn't like being in public then. This is the bit I hate, when I can't get high anymore. Chef's product tended to keep me going for a bit, but this new stuff? Three days since I got it and I'm already tweaking. Sure, the high was better, but it was short lived. Couldn't tell if I liked it more or less.

But, I couldn't complain and things could be worse. All in all, my week had gotten better, if I squinted and ignored the bitter emptiness that I could feel dimming the edges of my being. Let's see. Got a new cook, so I could keep making money off my meth now. I'd made a deal with a certain blond girl which meant I had killing rights over her and that hippy prick. Should be a good, something to keep my blood pumping, at least. But that could wait. Right now, I needed something to do. Anything. Apart from jacking off, I'd done that like four times already today and I didn't want to end up making my boy as sore as every other part of my body was right now. I was brought out of my head and into the real world when I heard the front door click open, and smiled when I saw the man who walked in.

"Ron! I'm bored. Tell me something good."

"Shit, Trevor, did you kill Clyde?" What the fuck? I frowned at Ron's words. That didn't sound like something good.

"Why would I kill our new cook? This shit-" I picked up the little bag from the table, which was once full of meth, now almost empty, "Is good. A little quick on the old wear-off, but potent as fuck. We're gonna make some money." I grinned.

"No. No, Trevor. He's dead." My smile dropped, instantly replaced by a frown.

"What did you say?" This can't be fucking happening. I could feel the half decent mood I'd spent the last few days building come crashing down.

"I went over there, like you asked me to, and there was a bunch of Feds... I got out of there quick, T. Bullet to the head, I heard." He held his hands out to me like I was some kind of wild dog ready to attack. He was stuttering, his face was turning red.

"Bullshit. Did you even go to the right house?" I asked, voice sounding surprisingly level and calm, but I was shaking.

"I did, for sure. I'm sorry, Trev, but we gotta find someone new. We're losing money."

"Argh! I fucking know that, Ronald. What do you suppose I do? Clyde was the only cook in this damn town that I hadn't killed yet, and that was only cause we got our supplies from him." I raked my hands through my hair, standing up and pacing around the trailer.

"You- you said something about a girl! You know, the girl?" He rushed to tell me, and I froze. Of course. Fucking blondie.

Wait. Oh, the realisation.

Hold on a second, though... Surely not. Surely she's not that stupid. I stood, jaw dropped, eyes wide, staring right at Ron as the cogs turned in my head. Seems mighty fucking convenient that Clyde just so happens to drop dead right after I make the deal. What better motive to kill someone other than to save your own ass? I may be fucked up on meth and suffering from at least three days worth of sleep deprivation, but I still had a few brain cells doing their job up there. I began to laugh, not because I found the situation in any way humorous, but because I couldn't believe I'd been so blind. She'd fucking killed him. Or her dopey sidekick had, but my money was on her. She seemed like the brains of the duo, the one to come up with this idiotic deathwish of a plan.

"You know what, Ron? I think I better go and pay that little lady a visit." I shook my head, chuckling to myself. "Wow."

"Need me to come with, boss?" He shuffled after me as I stepped out of the trailer.

"I can handle it." I told him as I marched towards my truck, fists balled up and jaw tight.

"A-alright." I saw Ron pathetically wave as I climbed in, starting up the engine.

I want to kill them. Both of them, just erase them from the face of the fucking earth. That's all I could think as I drove in the general direction of my lab. I didn't know where the fuck they were going to be, but they must've been around there to have seen Clyde. Fucking assholes! 

"I should'a just killed you when I had the fucking chance!" I growled over the heavy metal tune that blared from my radio. That's what I get for going soft when there's women involved. If it'd just been the guy, he'd be buried by now. He'd be buried, and I'd be making back my money. Shit!

I passed the motel, making a bee line for the liquor store, going way too fast to ever stop if someone pulled out on me, but I couldn't give a shit. The tires screeched and dust kicked up all around me as I pulled to a stop right outside. I threw my car door open and jumped out, pulling out my pistol.

"Where the fuck are you?" I yelled and sent a few warning shots into the sky, terrifying the group of hillbillies loitering outside, who went scrambling in all directions. I turned in circles, eyes scanning the surrounding areas for those two little bastards. Then, just down the road, I saw a black van come hurtling out of the motel car park at full speed. I instantly recognised it, it was in the car park that night at the Yellow Jack Inn. That was them.

"Pricks!" I yelled as I threw a couple of bullets in their direction, hitting nothing. I ran for my Bodhi, not even bothering to shut the door as I climbed in and pulled off, relieved to find I'd left the engine running in my rage. Thank fuck I'd upgraded the engine in this thing, or I wouldn't be catching up to those cocksuckers so quickly.  
I fired shots through the back window of their van, watching as the whole thing swerved before straightening back up. It was hard getting a clean shot with all those cardboard boxes stacked up in the back, so I aimed for the tyres, just missing when they suddenly took a right hand turn, heading for the main road that goes past Sandy Shores.

"Fucking die!" I shouted, following them closely, so closely that I rammed into the back of them. Then I had bullets coming my way, from the passenger seat. Whoever was shooting couldn't get me though, everything was blocking the shots, and the 'pwangs' of metal being hit could be heard. They took another right hand turn onto the main road, then started driving into oncoming traffic. Good, take your own fucking selves out. Save me a job. My car was faster than theirs, and I picked up enough speed to drive alongside them, preventing them from swerving this way to miss any cars. 

"I'm going to fucking kill you!" I yelled to them, locking eyes with Randy, who was the one shooting at me. I had just lifted my gun to shoot him in the face, when the van suddenly swerved away from me and turned onto the train tracks, right as a train was passing. I knew what they were trying to do, they were planning on driving past the front of the train at just the right time, so I'd get stuck behind it while they gunned it to freedom. I laughed maniacally though, when they turned just a little too late and the train clipped the back end of the van, sending them spinning into a ditch on the other side of the tracks.

Idiots. Fucking idiots, both of them. I stopped my truck and waited for the train to pass, before driving over to them. The girl had got out, and was yelling through the broken passenger side window at the guy. The van was upright, but the front end was wedged into a ditch a ways away from the tracks, there was no getting it out of there.

"Randy! Fuck!" I heard her scream as I got out of my truck and walked over to them. He was probably dead, then. She saw me coming for her and glanced between the two of us, before screwing her face up, like she was about to cry, and began to run.

"Don't fucking bother!" I yelled, swinging my arm up and firing the gun without really aiming. I hadn't expected to hit her, so I raised my brows when she screamed and crumpled to the floor in front of me. She was a few feet ahead, so I stormed quickly towards her, gun pointed right at her. "Remind me why I gave you a fucking chance." I spat as I closed the gap between us.

"Don't-" she said feebly, shuffling back with one hand clamped around her ankle, where blood was seeping out between her fingers. Her eyes were watery, but she didn't let go of any tears. She just scowled up at me like she'd never been so angry, but I could see how terrified she really was.

"Don't, no, please," I mimicked her high pitched voice as I moved closer to her every time she shuffled away. "Don't even try to talk your way out of this, woman. You earned this."

"I hope you rot in hell." She said coldly, and she didn't even stutter. She had to be scared though, I was pointing a gun between her eyes.

"Yeah? I'll see you there." I said, scowling right back as my finger tightened around the trigger. But I paused. Why wasn't I shooting her? I simply just kept my eyes focussed on the spot between her eyes where my bullet should be by now. Something was stopping me from pulling the trigger. Oh yeah, she was a cook.

"You. Killed. Another cook. My cook." I seethed, and it was almost as if I was reminding myself. She needed to die, I don't care how useful of an asset she could be to TPI.

"I'd do it again if it meant ruining your so-called business a little more." She said, then spat at me, her saliva barely reaching my leg. Anger roared in me again, and I tightened my grip on the gun, trigger finger twitching. Still, she wasn't dead yet.

"You have some fucking nerve." I said, my words rumbling in my chest. I was stalling.

"I'd never cower in fear from someone like you." She was looking at me like I was the scum of the earth. Any thought I had about her being scared was gone. She was fucking fearless. My finger relaxed a little, the idea of seeing her pretty brains scattered across the sand no long seeming appealing.

"You." I paused, gesturing to her with my gun, "Are going to cook for me." I said, and I didn't even tell my lips to form the words. They just sort of manifested themselves. But I didn't take them back.

"Excuse me?" She asked in disbelief, squinting at me, probably from the sun which shone behind me.

"You heard. I'm not going to kill you, because you, at this moment, are far too valuable." It was like my mouth was talking for me, without my brain's contribution. What I was saying was true, though. She was the only cook in Blaine County right now.

She snorted and looked down at her ankle, moving her hand slightly to see the damage. It was almost as if she didn't believe me. It was then that I heard a groaning sound coming from behind me, and the girl's head shot up.

"Randy!" She shouted, scrambling to her feet. What's wrong with her? Who in the right mind would have dared to move just then? Number one, she's been shot in the ankle, and two, she had a gun in her face. For some reason, though, I let her get up and hobble towards the van in which her partner was coming to. Maybe it was because she was just as insane as me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, feedback is much appreciated, so tell me what you think and I'll love you forever :D


	6. Back In Business

God, I felt guilty. Yes, we'd gotten what we wanted, we were working again and able to make money, but I'd nearly killed Randy in the process. I just thought myself lucky that the worst either of us suffered was stitches and a concussion. 

Sandy Shores medical centre was too cold. Sure, the desert was hot and I appreciated the air conditioning, but this was overkill. It was cranked up way too high, and I had goose pimples all along my arms. We were waiting outside Randy's room, and when I say we, I mean Trevor and I. To my surprise, Trevor had been so kind as to drive the two of us to the hospital, and was waiting with me while the nurses kept an eye on my partner. The airbag didn't go off, and he'd gone face first into the dashboard pretty damn hard, they needed to make sure he wasn't going to drop dead from some sort of brain injury. I on the other hand, was fine. Trevor's bullet had just skimmed my left ankle, only going through the surface of my skin, so a few stitches had me discharged. 

"How's your ankle?" Trevor suddenly said, after about twenty minutes of awkward silence. 

"It's fine." I replied, keeping my eyes focussed straight ahead, not particularly wanting to acknowledge the fact that I was sat inches away from a man who had almost blown my head off. I was shaking enough as it was, from the shock of the crash.

"You know, I didn't actually mean to shoot your leg. I just wanted to scare you, or somethin'." He crossed his arms and leaned back on the squeaky metal bench I shared with him.

"So you were never going to shoot me?" I turned to look at him then, as I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees. 

"Oh no, I had every intention of shooting you, just not that first time. That was, I don't know, a warning shot that accidentally hit you." He told me bluntly, and I turned back away from him.

"Why didn't you just kill me?" 

"I told you. You're too valuable to my business." I rolled my eyes at that. 

"I don't believe for a second that I'm the only cook in Blaine County," I whispered, "the whole place is full of meth heads."

"Yeah, meth heads who I deal to. Between the two of us, we've wiped out the lot."

"I'm sure you could find one somewhere." I don't know why I kept going. I was alive, I should be happy with that instead of pretty much trying to persuade him to kill me and find someone else. I always had to push things to the absolute limit. Maybe it was the guilt.

"No, sugar," he leaned forwards, mimicking my pose and putting our faces just inches apart as he lowered his voice, "if I could find someone else, I would. You think I want you, specifically? No. I'd much prefer someone who hasn't screwed me over twice in a fucking row, but you've left me no choice."

"Well, I'm glad to be part of the team." I nodded to him, then leaned away, putting some distance between us. He stank of sweat, blood and drugs.

"Yeah, welcome a-fucking-board." He grumbled. 

Another five minutes of silence ensued, and the painkiller's I'd been given were starting to wear off, the dull ache in my ankle was coming back and all I wanted to do was go to sleep. Shit. That's when I remembered the van. My 'bed' was fucked, now we really were homeless. All our cook stuff was probably fucked too, not that it mattered though, now that we had a new lab. Whatever, I'd just forget about it and leave the mess for someone else to clean up. The van was stolen anyway, they couldn't trace it back to us. Randy had our pistol, that's all that mattered. I looked up when the door to Randy's room opened, and he came shuffling out followed by a nurse.

"They say I'm good to go." He said quietly, and it was clear to me that he was making a conscious effort to avoid looking at Trevor.

"How are you feeling?" I asked him as I stood up, closing the gap between us and pulling him into a hug.

"Tired." He said, and I felt his breath on my skin as he burried his face in my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Randy. This is my fault." I told him, hating myself for putting him in the hospital.

"It's not. It's definitely not your fault." He said, the edge to his voice told me he was placing the blame on someone else. Someone else in that room, someone who was waiting not so patiently behind me.

"Let's move. Come on, you can hug each other for as long as you want when you're not wasting my time." Trevor grunted, turning to leave. I sighed and pulled away, following him out the doors with Randy close behind.

"Where am I taking you, you got a place out here?" Trevor asked me as he approached his red pickup, which was parked just outside the hospital.

"That smoky pile of bent metal we left at the train tracks was our 'place'." I said monotonously, watching as he turned around with a frown.

"You've been living in there?" He asked, to which I nodded. "How come you ain't been murdered or robbed yet?" 

"We had a near miss today, remember?" I snorted in the unattractive way that I always did.

"Right. Well you can live at the lab, then." He turned and carried on walking.

"Isn't that dangerous? With all the toxins that get kicked out?" I asked, raising a brow as we came to a stop next to the truck.

"Nah, course not. There's loads of windows and shit. You'll be fine." He waved his hands and dismissed my concerns.

"Right." I said as Randy walked past me, opening the passenger side door to get in, only to be yanked back at the shoulder by Trevor.

"What do you think you're doing? Get in the back. She sits in the front, she's more important." Trevor jabbed a thumb at me as he shoved Randy in the direction of the bed of the truck. I raised a brow, but otherwise kept quiet, watching as my partner groaned and hauled himself over into the back. I got in the passenger seat and put my seatbelt on.

"You don't mind letting us stay at the lab?" I asked Trevor as he got in the truck.

"As long as you don't fuck anymore of my shit up, it shouldn't be a problem."

"Thanks." I nodded, smiling a little.

"Yeah, don't mention it. Listen, I'm gonna need you to cook me up a batch. I gotta know if your product's up to scratch." He said as he started up the truck and started heading in the direction of the lab.

"It will be, trust me." I nodded confidently.

"Oh yeah?" He looked at me, raising a brow just slightly.

"Yeah. We had a good thing going up in Murrieta Heights, my girl 'Tina' was popular." I smirked.

"How come you're here then, if it was such a 'good thing'?" He asked, a sharp edge to his voice.

"Long story, one for another time." I shrugged, just wanting to drop the subject. I'd rather not let this all go down the shitter.

"Right. Well, you'll be able to sort out a sample for me, right?" He turned back to the road.

"Of course, if you have the stuff I need."

"Everything you need will be in the lab." He nodded, and I smiled. The hardest part was over, now I just needed to do my thing and I'd be making back my money in no time.


	7. Making Deals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It feels like ages since I updated, I've had some serious writers block but I think its passed now. I've also noticed that my chapters have mostly been really short and somewhat bland so far, and I'm really trying to push myself to make this story worth reading now :) I've got the next few chapters written up and I really feel I'm getting into the swing of writing this now, so hopefully you'll enjoy it! :)

Ugh. Finally. I allowed myself to flop down on the bare mattress on the floor that was to serve as my bed until the unforeseeable future. Randy was snoring away next to me already, he'd been there since we'd got here. I, on the other hand, had work to do. Specifically, cooking up a batch for our new boss. Trevor had brought us here, and after a grand tour of the fantastically unprofessional facilities that Trevor Philips Industries had to offer, I was left to it. It came to me as naturally as anything would after seven years of practice, and I'd finished up the batch with ease, and in good time. I'd retired to the musky mattress, which smelled faintly like piss, for some well needed rest while the stuff crystallized.

Crazy bastard was coming over the next day to sample my creation, and I just hoped to God that it was up to his standard. Who knows what he'd do if he was unhappy, I'm positive Trevor's a three strikes and you're out kind of guy. Hell, maybe that's just if you're lucky.

I kicked my shoes off, being particularly gentle with my left one, and tried to ignore the acrid stench emanating from my work station in the next room. This place was an absolute shit hole. Every surface in the place was filthy, the floor was covered in trash, and the main room seemed to have been poorly opened up literally by bashing a great big hole in the wall. It needed some serious straightening up, but that was something I could deal with later. It was a roof over my head though, therefore I was happy.

-

I woke up later than I'd hoped, but I didn't mind since Randy had already done my job of bagging up the meth I'd cooked. He was a good partner. He was rummaging around in the fridge when I got up, looking for something to eat.

"Anything good?" I asked through a yawn as I walked over to him, limping only slightly due to my ankle.

"Does this look good to you?" He turned to me with a bowl in his hands and a grimace on his face. One glance at the contents of the bowl had me recoiling. Whatever that brown sludge once was, it definitely wasn't safe to consume now.

"Put it back before you get E. Coli. We'll get something safe after he's been." I said, pushing the bowl away as he wafted it dangerously close to me. The very mention of Trevor had him grunting in disapproval.

"Think I'd rather have suffered permanent brain damage from the accident than see that psycho again. He's probably just gonna kill us, you know." He slid the bowl back into the fridge and slammed the door.

"Well, if he does, 'least we've had a good run." I sighed and patted him on the shoulder and went looking for a bathroom, "If not, just think of the money, bud."

"Some things just ain't worth it, Em." He turned and sat on the table, grabbing the bag of semitranslucent white crystals and toying with it in his hands. "Looks like a good batch." I heard him call.

"Thanks." I called back from the next room, making my way towards the staircase in search of a bathroom. "Did you see a toilet on the way in here?" I yelled up the stairs when I'd reached the bottom, looking up to the next floor and waiting for a response.

"It's just there, sweetheart." Fucking shit where did he come from? I whirled around to see Trevor walking in from the store, he was pointing at the door just next to me.

"Jesus!" I exclaimed, slapping a hand to my chest out of fright. Sneaky shit.

"Nope, just Trevor. You got my meth?" He clapped his hands together after closing the door to the shop floor behind him. He strolled up to me and looked me up and down, taking in my exposed skin where I'd unbuttoned my shirt all the way down and left it hanging open overnight due to the heat. My skin crawled under his gaze, and I felt underdressed even though my sports bra covered me up plenty.

"Upstairs." I said, crossing my arms over my chest defensively. He nodded and started to jog upstairs. I followed him, my bladder could wait. I buttoned up my shirt as I went for my own personal comfort.

"Randy! How's that noggin of yours holding up?" I heard him say sarcastically as he entered the room I'd left Randy in. I cringed, he wasn't getting any more likeable for my poor partner.

"Just fine, thanks." I knew that tone. Randy was trying to hide is blatant bad mood.

"Great, great, that my stuff?" I entered the room in time to see Trevor point at the bag in Randy's hand, and have it begrudgingly handed over to him. "Looks promising." He pulled out a chair and settled himself down, reaching into his pocket to retrieve a glass pipe. I watched from the corner as he took a small crystal from the bag and popped it into the end of the pipe. He brought his lighter up to the end, but paused for a moment and looked between Randy and I.

"You're staring at me like I'm about to either sentence you to death or give you a million dollars. What's with that?" He asked with a frown.

"That's pretty close to the truth though, I'd imagine." I said, and when he raised a brow, I elaborated, "If you like my product, we'll be paid. If you don't, I'm willing to bet we'll be killed."

"Probably." He brought the pipe up to his lips, but paused again. "Wait, how'd I know you haven't mixed this shit up to kill me?" I sighed.

"I give you my word." I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms.

"Take a hit." he said, offering me the pipe. I subconsciously jolted away from the thing.

"No way. I don't do that shit." I took a step back. I wasn't getting into that mess again. Cooking it was one thing, but taking it? No. I'd been there before, I wasn't prepared to have to dig myself up from that grave again.

"Ugh, boring! Fine. You do it." He turned to Randy, who shrugged and took the pipe from him.

"Why not, I'll never say no to free meth." He said, taking the lighter and lighting it up below the pipe without hesitation. He inhaled the stuff, and moments after, he was pulling away, blowing wisps of white smoke into the air. Trevor watched on with unblinking eyes, which were narrowed by a frown when Randy went for another hit.

"Alright, that'll do. I get that it's not poisoned." Trevor said with a hint of annoyance. He snatched the pipe away from Randy and took a hit for himself. 

"That's fucking good, Em." Randy said with a stupid grin, and I just nodded in response, I was focussed on Trevor. This was the first time I'd actually had a good look at the guy, since the other times we'd met it'd either been too dark or I'd been staring down the barrel of his gun. He had a face full of scars and lines, and a balding head that made him look older than he perhaps was. A body full of tattoos, the most notable ones being some kind of memorial on the top of his left arm, and a dotted line around his neck labeled 'cut here'. I wouldn't say he was unattractive, but he was certainly a long way off being conventionally handsome. A moment had passed as I watched him inhale, and he let loose an approving sound, somewhere between a grunt and a moan.

"I'm impressed, lady. Looks like I'm keeping you around a little longer." Trevor nodded, and I noticed the way his lips twitched like he was resisting a smile.

"Yeah?" I asked, suppressing a grin.

"Yeah. I think it goes without saying though, you make one mistake, you're done. And I mean completely done. D. O. N. E." He got up and took a few steps towards me, jabbing a finger at my chest.

"Of course." I gave a humourless laugh.

"Seriously, no more chances, yeah?" He warned me.

"Yes." I said, in a way not dissimilar to how a teenager would respond to a mother's nagging.

"Alright." He reached his hand out to me, but I paused for just a second.

"Wait, we haven't discussed payment." I narrowed my eyes at him, and he huffed in irritation.

"It's always about the money with you people, never about the passion for your profession." He dropped his hand and stared at me expectantly, as if he was waiting for me to argue.

"Right, well, while living in a meth lab and wearing the same outfit I've been in for weeks is lovely, it's not something I see myself doing forever. It's got to be about the money." I deadpanned, staring right back at him expressionlessly.

"What, my meth lab not good enough for you or something? You know, I don't have to let you stay here. I could'a just left you out on the streets but nooo," he waved his arms around dramatically, "out of the goodness of my heart, I put a roof over your head. And it's not good enough for you? Well you can suck-" 

"Stop. Just shut up. I didn't fucking say that, did I?" I scowled, straightening up and stepping just a bit closer to him.

"You meant it, though. Excuse the shit out of me for not rolling out the red carpet for your arrival." He looked me up and down once then turned away abruptly. 

"Calm the fuck down, will you? Jeez. All I am saying is, I'm broke. That's why I'm here, that's why I need money. I wasn't dissing your lab, so cool it." I heaved a sigh, watching the muscles in his back move as he fidgeted on his feet before me. Well, at least my drugs work, I thought.

"Twenty percent." He mumbled, almost inaudibly, but I heard it.

"Twenty percent?" I repeated, wondering for a moment if he was serious.

"That's what you'll get. Twenty percent of what I make from selling this stuff." He turned and picked the bag of crystal up from the table.

"What, each?" I squinted at a him, taking a step in front of him so I could see his face.

"Nope. Twenty percent. Split it how you want, I don't care."

"Fuck off..." I said, promptly followed by a "What the hell, man?" From Randy. Trevor's eyes shot up from the bag to stare at me. 

"Excuse me?" He asked, cocking his head to the side incredulously.

"Twenty percent? Ten percent each if we're gonna be fair-" I looked between him and Randy.

"Hold on, who says you have to split equals? What the fuck does he do that deserves the same amount as you do?" Trevor jabbed a thumb over his shoulder at Randy.

"Hey, screw you, I do stuff!" Randy retorted defensively, jumping down from the table and taking a step towards Trevor, only to be harshly shoved back by the chest and otherwise ignored.

"We're partners, we go fifty fifty on everything. Play fucking fair, twenty percent?" I kept repeating the figure, laughing without amusement at just how ridiculous he was being. Greedy bastard, I wouldn't let him make such a high profit off of my work.

"Hey, just remember who's paying for the fucking supplies, alright? And remind me who's keeping a roof over your head." He cupped a hand around his ear, waiting for an answer.

"Listen to me, asshole. My stuff is the best you're gonna find out here, right? I put effort into that shit, and I'm not about to sit back and let you-" I glanced around, searching for the right words, "Steal from me! I don't care if you buy the supplies or let us live here, twenty percent just isn't enough."

"Ain't happy? We could always mosey on back to my original plan of action, and I can blow your fucking brains out. Would you like that, sweetheart?" He said in a tone of voice that was too calm.

"Oh please, you can't use that threat on me when I know it's bullshit. It's like you said, I'm too 'valuable'." I quoted him, smiling smugly when his mouth opened then closed again, like he didn't know what to say.

"You... Are one insufferable little girl. Thirty percent." He spat, bending his knees slightly, putting himself at my level and never breaking eye contact.

"Make it forty, and I'll be happy." I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Fuck off, thirty five." He straighted up and raked his fingers through his hair.

"Forty." I repeated stubbornly, frowning. I wasn't budging. He groaned and spun around, clutching his head in despair.

"Fine then. Fucking fine. You're lucky I'm rushing from that stuff, otherwise this would never happen." he growled, then shot his hand out towards me, and I quickly shook it with a satisfied grin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its short and not much happened xD I promise things get more exciting now! Anyway, let me know how you're finding this so far! Reading peoples comments motivates me more than anything :)


	8. Adrenaline

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So things get a bit more exciting now, I've really gotten into writing this now so hopefully it will turn out good!

The place did have a shower, it turned out. It probably hadn't seen hot water since the day it was installed, and was pretty much just a sprinkler attached to the wall, above a hole in the tiled floor which served as the drain, but it did the job. I don't think I've ever been so happy about being able to do something as simple as wash myself. I'd even attempted to wash my clothes under the faucet, knowing full well how unpleasant it would be to put them back on while they're still wet, but wanting to feel as clean as possible after weeks of being filthy. The water rose goosebumps on my skin, but I didn't mind as long as it washed away all of the grime from the messed up weeks that'd just passed. 

It'd been exactly one week since I'd seen Trevor, and I was expecting him today. We needed more stuff to cook with, I'd been working a lot over the past week and I was running low on chemicals. He sounded pissed off on the phone, and somehow it was my own fault that I didn't have much left to work with. Well yeah, I'd used it, but he was getting high quality meth to sell, he can't complain. I'd put so much effort in, trying to get as much done as possible while maintaining my standards. My game plan was, get as much done as you can in as little time as possible, then you can earn your money back and leave faster. 

I turned the water off, jumping when it got significantly colder as soon as I started to turn the knob. We didn't have any towels, so I was stuck using toilet paper to dry myself off. Well, desperate times and all... The cheap tissue stuck to me and disintegrated in my hands, and soon enough I gave up and turned to my clothes, which were hung on the radiator (which was off, and was probably more for decoration than to serve any real purpose) next to the toilet. It was as I'd expected, awful, to put my still-damp clothes over my still-damp skin. I was cringing and shivering the whole time, but I told myself I'd appreciate the coolness when I got exposed to the desert sun again. After dragging my fingers through my hair to get out the tangles, I took a final look at my dishevelled reflection in the cracked mirror, and left the bathroom.

I heard him before I saw him, and of course, he wasn't happy. He was shouting at Randy, and I sighed. I made my way upstairs, a scowl on my face, fully prepared to murder the shit out of Trevor. Can he never be civilised? I entered the room, and two sets of eyes flickered over to me, and the shouting stopped.

"What's the problem?" I asked with a sigh.

"Him! He's fucking rude." Trevor spat, jabbing a finger at Randy.

"You're rude!" My partner retorted from his spot on the mattress.

"Seriously?" I raised a brow, and looked between the two of them. "Get over it."

"I knew you'd be a turd ever since I saw that stupid pony tail of yours on CCTV." Trevor grumbled, and Randy's hand shot up to his hair.

"At least I have hair." He replied with a smug grin. That struck a nerve. Trevor growled like some kind of wild animal, and reached forwards and grabbed Randy by the shirt, dragging him to his feet.

"Trevor, calm it!" I stormed over and grabbed one of his arms, trying to pull him back.

"Ugh, what do you see in him, Emily?" Trevor glanced at me as he shoved Randy away.

"What do I see in him?" I squinted, letting go of his arm when I was sure he wasn't going to pummel my friend into the ground.

"A woman like you needs a real man, not a pussy like him." He took a few steps back, eyes trained on Randy, hands squeezed into fists.

"If all men are like you two then I don't need one at all." I shook my head, stepping into the space between the two men. "Now let's just calm down, and talk business. Trevor, you're here about the supplies, yes?"

He looked over at me, and took in my appearance for the first time this morning. "Why're you all wet?" 

"I washed my clothes." I told him.

"Usually people let them dry first."

As if he'd know anything about washing clothes, I thought. I didn't dare say that, though. "I don't have anything to change into so I had to put them back on."

"You could of just, ahhh, gone without for a few hours." He looked me up and down again, his face a picture of innocence but his words suggesting the exact opposite.

"I'll ignore that in favour of steering the conversion back to the business." I also ignored the fact that I could feel my face steadily heating up. "The supplies, Trevor."

"Right, the supplies." He nodded and leant back on the table, holding onto the edge behind him with both hands, "My guy, Ron. He's got us a whole van load of cook stuff, we just need to, uh, pick it up." I didn't like something about his tone, but I pressed on.

"Okay, so we just meet the suppliers and pick it up? Everything else is sorted?" I asked.

"Yeah, you could say that. They're up in North Chumash, I can drive us down there." He nodded with a grin, a grin that made me slightly nervous.

"Alright, when do we go?" 

"About..." He drew out the word as he glanced at the calculator watch on his wrist, "Oh would you look at that, about now." he looked up with a smile and pushed up off the counter. "Let's go, cupcake."

"Should I come-" Randy started as I was led away by my elbow, but he was swiftly interrupted by Trevor.

"Nope, you just stay here, buddy, and let the grown ups take care of everything." And with that, we were gone.

-

We'd been driving for about twenty minutes, the two of us not saying anything the entire time. It wasn't exactly an awkward silence, but then again it wasn't a comfortable silence. I drummed my fingers against the side of the truck where my arm was hanging out and pursed my lips in thought. 

"Does the radio work?" I turned and asked him, motioning to the dial between us. He looked over to me suddenly, as if he'd forgotten I was there and was shocked to hear me talk.

"Why do you ask? My company alone not good enough?" He asked, but it was clear by his tone that he wasn't actually offended. I rolled my eyes with a smile.

"No, I just thought some music might be nice." I replied, keeping my gaze on him as he turned his attention back to the road. 

"Yeah it works." He said, and I took the opportunity to turn it on.

"Ew, Channel X?" I asked, wrinkling my nose. I reached for the dial but he grabbed my hand.

"My car, my music." He growled, and I pulled my hand away from his, which was overly hot and clammy, and narrowed my eyes at him.

"You seriously like this garbage?"

"Garbage?" He turned to glare at me, "This shit is golden."

"Well, you're right to call it shit." I smirked at the angry scoff he gave.

"Better than all the other crap that's being churned out these days. It's real, it's raw." He muttered.

"You see, that's why I listen to older stuff. Back when music was music and not just noise." I nodded, turning the volume down as a particularly abrasive song started up.

"Ugh, you're beginning to sound like Michael when he talks about his stupid movies." I saw him roll his eyes.

"Who's Michael?"

"Oh, just some asshole I know." He told me, and I didn't press the matter, "So what do you like?"

"Classic stuff. You like Phil Collins?" I grinned, you got me talking about music, I could go for hours.

"Can't say I've ever really listened to him much." He jutted his bottom lip out in thought.

"Hmm, what about Marillion? Or Pink Floyd? Oh come on, Queen. You must like Queen." I counted off each artist on my fingers, almost choking when he just shrugged indifferently at each one, "Dude, you need educating!"

"God, you really are like Michael. Only younger." he seemed to hunch up around the wheel as he scowled.

"This Michael guy is growing on me."

"Don't bother, he's married. And don't expect him to get divorced, I've been barking up that tree for years, trust me." He laughed.

"Too bad." I joked.

"I thought you and pencil dick were banging, anyway." He looked at me from the corner of his eye.

"You mean Randy? God, no." I almost laughed at the idea.

"You're not?" He looked at me full on and raised his brows, a little smile pulling at the corner of his lips.

"No, he's like my little brother. It'd be weird... Well actually, there was one time-" I pursed my lips, cutting myself off and hoping he hadn't heard me. He had.

"Wait, what?" He turned and grinned mockingly at me and I squeezed my eyes shut, silently cursing myself for letting that one slip.

I sighed. "We were fucked up on meth one time and things got... Weird. You know how it is, right?" I turned with a pleading look in my eye.

"Yeah, alright. I get it." He nodded, and he was laughing too hard. "It's one hell of a drug. But you told me you didn't take it."

"I don't, not anymore. But this was years back." I waved my hand, pushing the topic of my bedroom antics with Randy away.

"You gave it up? That easy?" he asked, somewhat doubtfully.

"Trust me, it's not easy. I still slip up sometimes even now." I looked down at my hands and started picking at a hangnail on my thumb.

"Doesn't it make it hard for you? You know, your line of work?" He asked after a pause, he sounded curious and even a little concerned, which surprised me. I shrugged.

"I don't know. It probably doesn't do me any good but... I don't find it any more difficult than it is when I'm not cooking. But you know, even when I do slip up it doesn't bother me as much as you'd think." 

"No?"

"Nope. You see, if I get high every now and then, its still nothing close to how I was before I tried to give it up. You should have seen me," I snorted, "total mess."

"There's nothing wrong with getting high, as long as you don't let it fuck you up." He said, and I nodded thoughtfully. I briefly wondered if I'd revealed too much about myself, when I still knew nothing about Trevor. The thought made me feel exposed.

"Sooo... Going back to the previous topic. You're on the market?" He said after a moment of silence, and it caught me off guard with how much the topic had changed. He wiggled his brows at me and I almost giggled. I was grateful that he'd changed the topic, and I felt almost warmed by it if I told myself he did so because he sensed my discomfort. 

"Women aren't cattle, there is no market." I snarked, "But I am single, if that's what you're asking." I faced forwards with a simper. "What about you? Married?"

"Me? Nah, never been tied down." He answered, then tapped on the wheel absentmindedly for a moment, "Commitment isn't really my thing, I'm more of a 'free love' kinda guy."

"Yeah, I get you." I nodded, and he glanced at me with a prurient smile which I tried my best to overlook.

"Uh, how's the ankle?" he asked me suddenly, clearing his throat.

"Oh, it's better. Pretty much good as new." I nodded, and honestly I'd almost forgotten about it. 

"Good. That's good." He nodded slowly, giving me a short glance.

We drove in silence after that, and I was glad that the radio worked, even if the music wasn't to my taste. We'd been driving on the Great Ocean Highway for a while, when he suddenly turned off the road and pulled over opposite a bar named Hookies.

"We meeting the supplier here?" I asked him as he glanced around somewhat shiftily.

"Listen, sweetie, I haven't been entirely truthful with you." He admitted with a wry smile, and I narrowed my eyes at him.

"What?"

"Question, how well can you fire a gun?" He reached over my knees to the glove box, and pulled a pistol out, pushing it into my hands.

"Very. Now, tell me what's going on, Trevor." My voice dropped to a low grumble, and I glowered at him.

He sighed and turned to me with a slightly irritated expression, as if he'd expected me to have guessed by now. "We ain't getting these chem's from a supplier, we're getting 'em from a competitor." My heart picked up.

"We're stealing them?" I asked, instinctively adjusting the gun in my hands to its proper position.

"You're a sharp one, aren't you." He rolled his eyes. "A white van full of cook stuff will be changing hands here in oh, about two minutes, when it gets here, we'll ambush 'em." 

"Right, then we just drive it back to the lab? What if we get tailed?" I said, struggling to suppress the excited grin that wanted to make itself known. The adrenaline was well and truly racing by now, I hadn't felt this in years.

"You drive it back, I'll follow you in my truck and I'll make sure we don't get tailed." He pulled out his own pistol from the waistband of his pants and gave me a smirk. "Oh, and take this," he handed me an earpiece. "we can talk through these." 

I nodded and put the device into my ear, watching as he did the same. He glanced at his watch again, then at the road. I spotted it just as he did, a white van heading for the bar.

"Showtime." He grinned, and I heard it echo through the earpiece. I smirked back, and we both got out of the truck. 

He came around to my side and grabbed my arm, pulling me down to a crouch behind the truck, he held a finger up to me as he peeked over the top, waiting for the right moment. "Ready..." he whispered. My heart was hammering in my chest, and I took a few deep breaths, just like I always did back in the day when armed robberies were a daily routine for Randy and I. My eyes were trained on Trevor's face. "Set..." I accidentally let out a quiet squeak, I was way too pumped for this.

"Go."

And with that I straightened up behind the truck and aimed over the bed, getting the first person I saw in my sights, the driver of the van who was just getting out. Trevor and I fired at the same time, and two bodies dropped. Instantly, we had bullets coming our way. I ducked back down and crept to the back end of the truck, peeking around the corner to fire a few more shots. More bodies dropped. Trevor let out a maniacal laugh beside me, and I couldn't help but laugh along with him, sounding only slightly less deranged.

"Jesus how many are there?" I called, thankful that we had the earpieces because it would be impossible to hear each other over the gunfire.

"We can take them." He encouraged, his gruff voice crackling through the device in my ear. I popped back up and took out two guys failing to fully hide behind the low fence surrounding the bar. I cheered inwardly as I got the two headshots in a row. 

A big guy with tattoos decorating his muscles came running at us with a shot gun, pumping shot after shot into the side of the truck. It would have panicked me if he hadn't of fired four shots before having to reload, and Trevor and I simultaneously stood up and fired at him. One hit him in the shoulder, one a clean shot to the head.

"You see his head go boom?" He shouted with a cackle and I turned to smirk at him.

"Of course, I was the one who fired the shot."

"Bullshit, that was my bullet!" He argued with a competitive frown.

"No, pretty sure it was mine." I retorted as I stood and floored another gang member.

"It was mine!" He growled, and I just laughed at his anger.

"Whatever, we're clear." I told him when the last guy hit the floor, courtesy of Trevor.

"Right, you go. I'll cover you, just concentrate on driving." He called to me as he threw the truck's door open and climbed in.

"Yes, boss." I gave him a little salute which earned a smirk from him, and made my way across the road to the van.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, feed back is wonderful and I appreciate every kudos and comment :3 let me know what you think!!


	9. Getting on like a house on fire...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah this is another short chapter, but hopefully its alright. Things are gonna get good soon though, like in the next two chapters, maybe? ;3 Anyways, enjoy :)

"Yes! We fucking did it!" I yelled, jumping out of the white van which I'd parked behind the liquor store, and making my way around the corner to where Trevor was climbing out of his own truck.

"Yes we did..." He grinned at me, strutting towards me with arms slightly outstretched, palms facing upwards in a showy manner. "We make a good team, you and I. I'm glad I kept you around."

"I'll second that." I nodded, grabbing his hand in a sort of half hand shake, half high five. 

The journey back to the lab was eventful, to say the least. We had a bunch of men on bikes follow us back, and Trevor managed to take every one of them out from his truck, which stuck to me like glue the whole way back. Through my earpiece I heard every yell, threat and cheer he sang, and that was all I needed to convince me that this man was insane, and it reminded me of how lucky I was to even be alive right now. It goes without saying, we attracted a bit of attention from the local authorities, which by some fluke we managed to evade in a pretty short amount of time. Something told me that Trevor had gained a lot of experience in losing cops, judging by his eagerness to talk me through the whole thing, barking his orders, telling me where to drive and when. Not that I really needed his tips, I was hardly a noob myself. It was strange, I found myself grinning ear to ear and laughing like a crazy person when I should have been terrified. I put it down to adrenaline.

"Jesus, I forgot how fun that sort of shit is." I laughed, my heart still racing faster than it ever would on the purest meth you could feed me.

"Yeah?" he asked, pushing me to elaborate.

"Yeah, Randy and I used to do armed robberies, B&E's, stuff like that. We stopped when we started earning enough money in the meth business." I glanced at him beside me as we made are way into the liquor store.

"You ever pull any big scores?" He asked, holding the door open for me.

"Hmm, biggest take we got was from an armoured truck, we got fifteen grand each." I told him, aware of the fact that he was walking extremely close to me, I could feel his shoulder brush against mine as we moved, and I assumed this guy never grasped the concept of personal space.

"Fuck, not bad." He nodded as we made our way upstairs to the lab.

"What about you?" I asked, and he turned to me and smirked.

"I'm not sure whether I trust you with that information just yet." He said, sucking on a tooth and wearing an expression that told me he was just itching to divulge.

"That big, huh? Come on, you can trust me." I nudged him, curiosity curling the edges of my words.

"And this is coming from the girl who killed two of my employees?" He said, raising a brow but he had a smirk on his lips. He paused when we reached the top of the stairs, and I waited with him.

"Actually I only killed one of them. And besides, haven't I proved my trustworthiness to you today?" 

"It's gonna take more than one mediocre robbery to earn my trust sweetie, but alright. Maybe I can share..." He glanced into the other room then back at me before lowering his voice. "You hear about the Union Depository?" 

"Fuck off! That was you?" My eyes widened and for a moment and I didn't know whether I believed him. That heist was legendary. Four tonnes of gold stolen right under the authorities noses, and what's more not a single person was caught. It was the type of score which made my fifteen G look like pocket money. I was impressed.

"I had a little bit of help from a few buddies, but yeah. You're looking at the guy who pulled off the impossible." He smirked smugly, crossing his arms and straightening up.

"Why the fuck are you living in this shit hole? You're a millionaire." I hushed my voice for the last part, conscious of the fact that Randy was only in the next room.

"Hey, I happen to like my shit hole, thank you very much." he frowned at me, uncrossing his arms and clenching his fists. I dropped the subject before I pissed him off any more.

"Right, well. Kudos to you, man. That's awesome." I nodded to him, then backed away from him slightly before turning into the room where Randy was. He was sat in front of the microwave watching a TV dinner slowly spin around, listening to the radio which, I could immediately tell, was playing Los Santos Rock Radio. My favourite.

"See Trevor, this is the music you wanna be listening to instead if that racket you had on earlier." I jabbed a thumb towards the radio, which was filling the room with Def Leppard's 'Photograph'.

"There's nothing wrong with my music." He retorted, going over to the fridge, "You stocked up on beer for me? That was nice of you." he pulled out a bottle of the booze that Randy had bought, and I could tell it wouldn't go down well.

"Put it back." Randy told him, getting his cheap dinner out of the microwave just as it started to beep.

"I think you're forgetting that this is my property you're living in, my electricity you're using, and my fork you're eating with. If I want a beer, I'll take a beer." Trevor grunted, pointing at him with the neck of the bottle.

"I paid for the beer, I own it. Put it back." Randy's voice was level and calm, I knew from experience that he never really raised his voice when he was angry. In fact, it usually turned out that the calmer he sounded, the angrier he was.

"Just let him have it, Rands, I'll get you more beer." I sighed, wanting to quell the argument before it started.

"Thank you, at least one of you has manners." Trevor said in an almost juvenile tone of voice.

"Manners? You help yourself to my beer and say that I'm the one with no manners?" Randy scoffed and I groaned in aggravation.

"Please, just drop it Randy." I told him, walking over to him with my palms held up, trying to calm him.

"Why are you on his side? Emily, this is the guy who wanted to kill you." He stood up and frowned at me in disbelief. In all honestly, he had a point, and it kind of shook me up for a moment and I didn't know what to say.

"Having the two of you bicker every time you're in the same room is annoying as fuck. I'm not taking sides, I'm trying to stop you from arguing." I said solemnly.

"Alright, Jesus! I guess I'll be the adult here." Trevor said loudly, grabbing both our attentions, then gestured to the unopened bottle in his hand and made a show of putting it back in the fridge. "There we go, I won't take the beer. I apologise, Randy. Does that make you feel better?" 

I raised my hands and turned to my partner with a smile on my face, like all had been solved. "There, he didn't take the beer. Problem solved." 

Randy just looked between the two of us with a scowl on his face, then picked up his tray of food and marched into the other room like a stroppy kid. Trevor and I watched him leave expressionlessly, and as soon as he was gone, Trevor opened the fridge again and took out two beers. I glared at him simply in Randy's defence, but otherwise just let him take them.

"I'm going. You want to come with me so you don't have to spend the day with Mr. Delicate in there?" He strolled past me, heading for the stairs, pausing just next to me a little closely, waiting for my answer.

"I better not," I straightened up and crossed my arms over my chest, "That'll probably just wind him up even more." 

"Why not do it just to spite him? I'll make sure to show you a good time." He gave a mischievous smirk, and I just sighed in exasperation. "You know what'd really fuck with him? If we started screwing-" 

"Weren't you just going?" I cut him off and turned to look at him with an overly polite smile. He paused and just looked at me, blinking like he didn't understand my response, before leaning away and nodding stoically. Then he just continued walking, cracking open one of his beers with his teeth as he left. 

Well, that was weird.

I relaxed my brow which had crumpled into a frown at Trevor's weirdly nonchalant response, and followed Randy's footsteps into the next room. He looked up at me from his spot on the grubby sofa, chewing a mouthful of tasteless, unevenly warmed mush.

"He's gone." I told him, walking over to join him on the couch, only then did I notice the couch actually had no cushions on it, all the springs were exposed and I wondered how Randy managed to sit somewhat comfortably. I opted to sit on the arm instead.

"Thank fuck for that." He said, his voice slightly muffled with his mouth full.

"Randy, can you please try to be civil with him? He's our boss, and whether you like to think so or not, he's really done us a favour by letting us stay here." I said gently, and he looked down at his food.

"I just don't like him, Em'. The things he does... He's weird." He paused to swallow, "And the way he acts around you." He trailed off and shook his head.

"What do you mean?" I frowned.

"It's like he thinks he owns you or something. Like when he's dragging you away to meet those suppliers with him, " I kept my mouth shut about the fact we'd actually robbed that stuff, "and now you're defending him when he's being an asshole. He's manipulating you, making you think he's this good guy just cause he let you live and has put a roof over your head."

I narrowed my eyes and thought for a second, considering his words. "He doesn't own me. And I don't think he's 'this good guy'. I know he's a psycho." I told him.

"Then why did you defend him, and why did you just blindly follow him?" He looked up at me suddenly, an angry expression on his face.

"Because not all that long ago he was pointing a gun at my head, Randy. Do you expect me to go against him?" I replied sharply, and he slowed his chewing. In all honesty though, that fact hadn't even crossed my mind these last few days. I wasn't scared of Trevor, I wasn't worried he would turn on me again and I certainly wasn't treading on eggshells and following his every command because I feared he would kill me if I didn't. I only made it seem that way because Randy wanted an answer and that was the only one that sprang to mind. I honestly didn't know why I was warming to this guy so quickly, even after he'd almost killed me.

"I'm sorry. I never really thought of it like that..." his expression softened and he looked apologetic. "You're scared of him?"

My eyes darted around the room as I rushed to think of a response. No, I wasn't scared of him. But what else could I say? I didn't have an excuse for having such a short memory regarding Trevor's previous actions. Maybe it was just because I'd actually found myself enjoying his company today. It was exciting, fun, and it was nice to not be the one on the wrong end of his gun for a change.

"N-not scared, exactly." I focused on a chip in the wall just beside Randy's head as I spoke. "I'm just being... Careful." I said, wringing my hands.

"Em'," he started, leaning down to put his tray on the floor before turning to me, "he ain't going to hurt you. We're partners. I've got your back." 

I nodded and smiled, "Same goes for you." 

"Listen, I'll try to be civil with him if it'll make you feel better." he said, putting his hands on the tops of my arms comfortingly.

"It would, definitely." I nodded eagerly. I felt bad for milking this, which was essentially all I was doing, but if it meant he and Trevor might get along, it was worth it.

"Alright." He nodded and patted my arms, before smiling and getting up to get rid of his empty food tray. I smiled to myself and hoped to god that next time Trevor was here, we could all just get along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate you reading this, and, as always, I'd love to know how you're finding the story so far :)


	10. Propositions

I was on the way back from Los Santos when she rang me, well, when she'd rang me and I'd actually noticed. I rarely missed phone calls, especially from employees, but I had some business to take care of at the strip club and admittedly, I may have gotten a little carried away whilst I was there. I liked to think those ladies were always so hospitable because they actually liked me, and not just because I'm their boss. It was a naïve thought, since they were paid to pretend they liked every man who crawled through those doors, but I still told myself that they were fond of old Trev. Either way though, I wasn't about to complain, sitting comfortably with tall brunette writhing on my lap and a shapely blonde pressing my face into her ample chest. 

I'd also been pulled into a new score with Michael and the protégé. I expected as much, it'd been a good few months since the UD and if I know Michael, I'd say he was getting bored. He spent nine years kicking back by the pool, and all it took was a few scores with me again to have him coming back like a needy whore. Not that I was complaining, mind, I was getting pretty bored too, all the money in the world couldn't stop me from taking scores. An artist doesn't create beautiful things just for the money, but for the fun of it. That's how I see my profession, too. We needed to get a certain someone on board before we could move, though, and it was up to me to make it happen.

My distraction, though, was probably the reason why I had three missed calls from the newest addition to the T.P.I crew. Emily, that pretty little blonde thing with the nice ass. I'd be lying if I said I'd kick her out of bed. She's not bad, you know, got a bit of a bite to her attitude but what's not to like about that. She's a smart girl, annoyingly so. She knows exactly where she stands, and she's calling the shots because she has me wrapped around her finger, I mean forty percent? Worst thing is though, I know she's got me wrapped around her finger, and there's nothing I can do because she's the only one who can keep the drug empire I've spent years building going. She knows that too, and she's milking the absolute shit out if it. I can't kill her, thus I can't threaten her, thus she feels perfectly happy to bite back at me, thus she makes me both hate her and like her all at the same time. I hated her cause she made me agree to pay her double what I wanted to, but I liked her because evidently she wasn't some spineless cunt like her partner. She knew how to fire a gun, too, if our own little robbery was anything to go by, which is always a bonus.

"What?" I spat down the line when I picked up the phone to her fourth call, the bitterness in my voice a result of my own thought process about the girl. My left hand tightly gripped the steering wheel whilst my right held my phone to my ear.

"Trevor, I'm sorry if I'm disturbing you." She sounded pretty bad, and at that my frown softened.

"No- uh, no it's fine. What's up?" I made an effort to sound less pissy.

"I tried calling you a few times but you never answered." 

"Yeah, sorry about that. I had some business to take care of out in Los Santos, I was uh, pretty busy." I grinned, thinking back to the soft thighs that shifted against me below my palms just hours ago.

"Okay, well I thought I'd just ask when you were gonna start shifting these _baked goods_ , you know?" There was an edge to her voice and I raised a brow in amusement, "I got all these _cookies_ and they're just sitting here... Lots of em'."

"How many?" 

"Like, two and a half pounds worth."

"Seriously?" I repeated, my eyes going wide. 

"Seriously."

"Jesus, no wonder you needed more baking soda! Listen, don't- don't make any more, okay? That's good for now." I told her, a bewildered laugh following my words. That was a lot of meth. Fuck, I needed to get selling. There was no way I was expecting that much so soon. What the fuck kind of operation was she running up in Murrieta Heights?

"Alright, what do you need me to do in the meantime?" she asked, and I paused, opening my mouth then closing it again. I didn't have anything to tell her, Chef was never this productive.

"Nothing, I guess, just... Take some time off? Tidy the place up, I don't know." I shrugged, trapping the phone between my shoulder and my ear so I could scratch an itch on my left elbow.

"You sure? Maybe Randy could start distributing, he's got some links from our old set up." She offered, and I simply took it as her trying to put her partner in my good books, I snorted.

"No thanks, sweetheart. I can take care of distribution. I've got two guys, Ron and Wade, they know our customers. You know what, I'll come over later to pick up the stuff, I've also got a little business proposition for you." I smirked. 

"Okay, sounds good. I'll see you later, then?"

"Yeah, you'll see me later." I told her, then hung up.

-

I arrived outside the lab an hour or so later. The sun was just starting to set and gave the desert that orange glow that I liked. Kinda like the sky's on fire. I parked my truck around the side and got out, and made my way inside. I could hear a sort of static sound, getting louder as I jogged up the stairs, entering the lab to find a sight I liked the look of. Emily was bent over the table, turning nobs on the ancient TV I'd forgotten we had in here, trying to find a signal. What I liked about it though, was the way her combat pants stretched tight around that perfect ass in her position, cluing me in on every dip, shape and curve the thing had. I let out a low growl, feasting my eyes on the sight and storing it up in my brain for later.

"Shit! Trevor, you made me jump." She jolted up from her position and whirled around to look at me. "Sorry, I didn't hear you come in."

"Oh, don't worry about it. That's fine. Carry on." I told her with a smile, but to my disappointment, she just shook her head and gave me a slight glare. She knew I was staring.

She turned briefly and switched the TV off, then wandered into the next room. When she came back, she was carrying an old beer crate under her arm, trapping it against her hip. "The stuff's in here." She pushed the crate into my arms and I peered inside.

"You are a fucking angel." I grinned as I saw the bags of glass stacked inside.

"An angel who supplies you with drugs?" She watched me with her hands on her hips and a smile on her face.

"The best kind of angel there is if you ask me." I shifted the crate in my hands then put it on the floor by the wall.

"Right." She laughed then went over to the fridge and pulled out a couple of beers and handed one to me.

"Won't your fuck buddy get pissed if I drink all his beer?" I teased her, but cracked open the bottle anyway. She snorted then scowled at me.

"First of all, he's not my 'fuck buddy'. And second of all, I bought this anyway." She shrugged, and took a gulp of beer as she sat down at the table.

"Well I'm not hearing any whining. Is he not gracing us with his presence this evening?" I glanced into the next room on my way to joining her, taking the chair opposite her.

"No, he went out." she looked down into her bottle as she spoke.

"Right, when he found out I was coming?" I smirked, and she nodded. "Good, best he's not around to hear my offer anyway."

"Ah, your business proposition." She prompted, then drank from her bottle.

"Alright, so I'll admit, you were impressive the other day, with our little robbery." I told her and she smiled and quirked an eyebrow. "Even if I still insist that the guy we both shot? The headshot was _mine_." I narrowed my eyes at the girl.

"It wasn't, but carry on." She said nonchalantly and I growled, forcing myself to press on anyway.

"Anyway... Me and a couple friends, friends who did the Union Depository with me might I add, have got this job all set out. It involves using something hot, real hot. Hot enough to melt through shit." I said, leaning forwards on the table.

She squinted, "What, like a blowtorch?"

"Like a thermite grenade." I grinned.

"Okay." Her brows darted up.

"We've got it, stole it from the military and we're good to go, _but_..."

"But?" She urged.

"Due to the nature of what we're doing with said thermite grenade, we need someone skinny. Petite." I nodded at her and glanced down at her waist. She snorted and raised a brow.

"And you're thinking about me?" She actually laughed, and I frowned, "Dude, have you seen my ass?" 

"Yes, yes I have seen your ass." I smirked at her, "What's wrong with it?"

"It's big, you're skinnier than me when you take my butt into consideration." She deadpanned and I laughed, leaning back on my chair.

"Look, the guys I'm working with... M's beer gut would get him into trouble, F's got too much muscle. Me? Yeah I'd probably fit but I think it'd be more fun to bring you along."

"Wait, where am I fitting into? You're gonna have to give me more info." She crossed her arms and looked at me sceptically.

"Okay. So, there's this huge fuckin' mansion in Richman, LS. Guy who owns it is massively rich, right? Place is always full of people, parties every night, pretty pink lights around it that go on at night, you might've heard of it."

"Right, Richman Mansion, it's on uhh, Americano Way. Yeah, I've seen it." She shrugged and I nodded.

"That's the one. Well a friend of ours, L, got his hands on the blueprints to this mansion, along with some pretty cool information from a trusted inside source. The mansion has this huge safe, literally a room with steel walls and a door you'd need about ten different codes to get into." I told her and she listened intently.

"I'm guessing we won't be breaking the codes." She smirked, and I returned it.

"Right. This is where the thermite comes in. L hacks in and disables the fire alarm system, we get into the floor above and melt through the fucking ceiling. This'll give us a hole into the safe, you pop down in there and pass up the goods to M and I."

"Won't the thermite ruin the stuff inside? What are we getting anyway?"

"That's why we burn through above the stuff we don't want. We're after jewellery, which is all on the left side, so we go in through the right side which is above a bunch of filing cabinets we don't care about. This safe is huge, Emily, like, bigger than this building."

"Shit... How much?" Her eyes widened and I grinned at her.

"Millions, split between us all." 

"Sold. I'm in, I'm so in." She darted her hand out towards me and I shook it.

"Thought you would be."

"What would my cut be?" She asked, she had this huge grin on her face.

"I'll talk with L, I'll make sure it's worth your while, don't worry." I told her and she nodded.

"Yeah? I'm just thinking, I really need to get some new clothes." She glanced down at the checkered shirt she wore, and I realised that I'd never seen her in anything different.

"Fuck, you'll be able to afford clothes, anything you want. Why, you been wearing that a while?" I gave a short laugh as she picked at some sort of food stain on her sleeve.

"I didn't exactly have time to pack a suitcase before I came here." She snorted.

"Tell me what happened. I like a good story." I narrowed my eyes slightly at her, and she looked at me with an almost startled expression.

"You want to know how I ended up in the desert?" 

I nodded and drained my beer. She sighed quietly then got up to get us more booze, when she sat back down she stared at me, thinking of how to proceed.

"Alright. I think I mentioned before how I had a lab in Murietta Heights? Well Randy used to sell my product for me, we split the profit fifty-fifty. I didn't get that involved in the sales side of things, I mostly stuck to cooking the stuff." She paused to open her beer and take a swig, and I mimicked her actions. "Randy was out selling one day, I was cooking- just finished a batch when he comes in all panicked and shit. Next thing I know we've got police bashing in our door... Turns out Rands got picked up by some stupid undercover cop set up bullshit."

"They actually do that shit?" I raised my brows.

"Apparently. So he comes in, police turn up, we have to basically shoot our way out of there. We managed to smuggle some of our supplies out into the van after clearing most of the heat, then we just drove, kept driving till we got here and lost the Feds somewhere along the way."

"Right, I've just got one question." I frowned. "Why the fuck did your partner lead the cops to your goddamned lab?"

She shrugged, an angry look on her face. "Beats me. Said he thought he'd lost 'em, but I dunno."

"Christ, he's more of a dick than I thought he was. You sure he ain't gonna get us all locked up?" I joked, yet it was actually sort of a serious question.

"He's not that bad. If he was, I wouldn't have kept him around for so long." She had a fond smile on her face as she picked at the label on her beer bottle.

"Well you're loyal, I'll give you that." I laughed, taking a good few pulls from my beer.

"He's my best friend, even if he is a bit of a prick sometimes. I love him." She said, and I found myself scowling at her words, a twinge of something close to jealously in my gut, oddly enough. I hated the fact that she liked him so much when I could see how he was holding her back. That prick was gonna be getting fifty percent of her money. It pissed me off more than it should. She looked up and noticed the glower I wore.

"Don't look like that. I know you don't like him, but I seriously wish you'd give him a chance and be civil." she furrowed her brow and looked at me with those big eyes and it was enough to soften my expression.

"Emily, I'm waiting for him to prove that he's not a complete moron." I told her, leaning forwards and staring with wide eyes at her sad expression.

"You haven't given him a chance to prove it, why don't you let him help out on this job?"

"And have him fuck up and lead the cops back here, too? No way." I laughed, and she gave an amused smile despite herself.

"Yeah, fine. Speaking of this job, when we doing it?" She asked me, and I smiled at her enthusiasm. You could tell this girl liked the territory of robbing people blind and otherwise causing illegal mayhem. She reminded me of myself, albeit slightly less scary and a lot more attractive. I found myself more and more glad that for once in my life I'd managed to control my temper and let her live rather than spewing her brain matter and watching the pretty colours fly.

"I'll speak to my buddies, let them know I reeled one in." I teased, "Then I'll know for certain, it'll be soon though."

"Alright. I'm just wondering, why'd you ask me? I ain't trying to talk my way out of a job or anything..." Curious little thing, that one. I sighed.

"Maybe I just wanted to test you out." I tossed my hand to the side, dismissing the subject with a little smirk on my face.

"Test me out? Like a new car or something?" She raised a brow at me and snorted.

"More like, see just how useful you could be to me." I grinned mockingly at her and she she just blinked at me with a slightly offended look.

"Right."

"That, and I find it easier to concentrate on a job with a hard-on. Don't ask me why." I told her and shrugged, suppressing a roar of laughter when her face contorted into about five different expressions at once. 

"You're..." she shook her head, bewildered and lost for words, "So hard to read!"

"Not what I was expecting, to be honest. Usually I'd get a slew of insults for something like that but I'll take what you're giving, sweetheart." I barked a laugh, unsure of whether to be disappointed with her generally placid reaction, considering I always liked to see a woman get mad. Nine out of ten times, it got sexy.

"No, I don't know if you're being serious or just trying to get a rise out of me." She was sort of smiling, and I decided I wasn't disappointed. A girl who could take my bullshit was refreshing.

"It's a bit of both, really." And with that, I downed the last of my beer and tossed the bottle over my shoulder, hearing it smash behind me. She held eye contact with me as she watched my actions, and narrowed her eyes. I stared back with my cocksure attitude.

"You know I'll have to clean that up, right?" She told me with a low voice, pursing her lips.

"You don't have to," I shrugged, "nobody's forcing you."

"So you wouldn't care if I started throwing shit around too?" 

"Go for it." I said with a shrug, a smile playing on my lips. She didn't do anything for a moment, but suddenly grabbed the empty bottle in front of her by its neck and flung it to the side with a grin. I watched it spin through the air and hit the wall, showering the ground in beads of glass. "I always loved that sound." I simply said.

"Want more beer?" She asked, standing up to get some anyway.

"You even asking me that?" I smirked at her, and she pulled the whole crate out of the fridge. She was my kind of girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its been a while since I updated, but I hope this chapter and the next one (which I'll be posting in just a few moments) will be somewhat worth it haha :P


	11. And So Begins The Inferno

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things start to get a little less platonic, so to speak...

I don't know how it had happened, but we'd ended up on the mattress together. I was laying on my back, snorting with uncontrollable, intoxicated laughter as he lay beside me, propped up on his elbow on his side, taking the absolute piss out of me. He was snorting like a pig and poking me in the ribs, and of course in my drunken state I found it more than hilarious, which made me snort, giving him more ammunition to bully me.

"Fuck off, I've always snorted when I laugh." I slapped his hand away when his finger started jabbing at my boob rather than my ribs, whether it was intentional or not, I didn't know.

"Yeah I noticed." He snorted again with a loud laugh, leaning in close to my ear as he did. What on earth went wrong in my life between now and an hour ago which lead to this bullshit? We'd drank a lot, a whole lot. We'd gone through a crate of beer between us and were now sharing whatever home brewed shit Trevor had fermenting in a cupboard somewhere. It tasted like ass but it was strong so we drank it, even if it was served up in a jerry can. I was too drunk to worry about how likely it was to kill me.

"You're a penis, ya know that?" I told him, sitting up and fumbling with the handle of the jerry can and lifting it to my face. It smelt like bleach and gasoline, though the latter part could just have been from the container. 

"Yeah, surprisingly I get that a lot." he grinned as he watched me take a gulp of whatever it was I was drinking. He laughed maniacally when I screwed my face up and shuddered violently at the taste.

"Eugh, what the fuck is in this shit?" I liked to think I sounded sober, but I knew by the way my lips felt numb and how everything felt like it had a two second delay that I didn't.

"If I told you, you wouldn't drink it. Just down it." His words were slurred and he shoved my shoulder.

"Dude, you could give me cow piss right now and I'd drink it if you told me it was booze."

"Well there's probably some o' that in there," he snorted and began to titter to himself drunkenly, and I shot a finger out towards him.

"Ha! Fuck you, you snorted! Oink, oink to you too, bitch!" I put the jerry can down a little too forcefully on the floor, and some of the liquid sloshed out. It was scarily black but I didn't care. I shoved his shoulder and he fell backwards, half on and half off the mattress, still giggling like a girl.

"I did it on purpose, y-ya know so you wouldn't feel self conscious." He tripped on every word, and began to hiccup. God, he was like a teenager getting drunk for the first time. I was then certain that the booze he'd made was spiked with something. 

"You put something in that drink, I bet you did you little dick." I kicked his leg and he only laughed harder. 

"Just a- just a teeny tiny something." He lifted his hand and held his thumb and his index finger an inch apart, snickering like an idiot.

"What is it, fuck face?" I asked him, kicking him again, but strangely I didn't feel all that mad.

"I brought Molly to the party, baby." He hauled himself back up onto his elbow and leaned uncomfortably close to me, I briefly wondered what he was doing, but soon realised he was reaching around me to get the jerry can.

"Molly? Ecstasy?" I said, slow and dazed, then raised a brow. "Didn't take you for an ecstasy guy." I just laughed, watching him take several gulps at once from the can.

"I'm not-" he belched, "not usually. But I had some on me and fuck. Didn't wanna waste it." He went to down some more, but I grabbed the container away from him. 

"Don't _hog_ it all." I finished my sentence with a snort, realising the unintentional pun I'd made. He started laughing again like an idiot. No wonder he wasn't an 'ecstasy guy', his scary reputation would be ruined if he was. I took a few swigs myself before handing it back to him.

"You know, Emily, I like you." He nodded, then drank. "You're more fun than Chef anyways." He snickered.

"Well I'd hope so, I've heard he's a little _lifeless_ these days." I fell against the mattress onto my back and roared a mean laugh, hearing Trevor do the same. God, I was fucked up. I'd never make a joke so nasty if I was sober.

"Yeah, yeah I really like you." He said, a few rolling chuckles distorting his already slurred words. He put a hand on my forearm and dipped his head against my shoulder, rubbing his forehead against me.

"Oh Trevy you'll make me blush." I joked, but honestly felt slightly hot at his words and actions. I reached my free arm over and hooked my fingers in his shirt on his back, just below his shoulder. Next thing I know I can feel his lips against my collar bone and I'm sighing, melting below him and letting him do it.

"Really like, like you." He mumbled against my skin and I moved my hand up to the back of his head, stroking his hair.

"I like you too." I told him, allowing my eyes to close as he left kisses and bite marks over my neck and shoulder. He was licking and tasting me like I was his last meal and my skin was a pink, wet mess where he'd been but I didn't care. He only let up when he pulled back and looked at me for a second before his lips pressed against mine. I kissed back immediately, unashamedly enjoying myself. He rolled on top of me, pressing one hand into the mattress beside me to support himself. He moaned into my lips when I tugged on his hair lightly. He broke the kiss to look down at me with hooded eyes and dilated pupils.

"I wanna fuck you." He told me bluntly, and had it been anyone else I'd have been taken aback by the sudden comment, but instead it made me grin.

"Do it." I said, without a second thought. In that moment, I wanted him to. 

"Yeah, you're much better than Chef." He huffed a laugh then leant down and kissed me again. He brought a hand down between us and used it to push my legs apart, his fingers lingered on the insides of my thighs before he withdrew them and pushed his hips against mine. He immediately started to roll his hips, and I could feel him, already hard, grinding between my legs through two pairs of pants. He broke the kiss and rolled his head back, letting out this dirty groan which had me turning to jelly.

"Fuck..." I whispered shakily, and I could feel the seat of my underwear getting damp from my arousal. His clothed cock was grinding perfectly against the most sensitive part of me, and when he started to pick up the pace I couldn't stifle the moan that ripped from all the way down in my gut. He grabbed my right leg with one hand and pulled it up to wrap it around him so it was resting against his butt. His big hand ventured up and down my thigh as he dry-fucked me.

"Let me see your body, baby doll." he whispered as he leant back, breaking the contact so he could unbutton my shirt. I didn't mind so much about the loss of friction because I got to see the hard bulge in his pants, his cock clearly outlined against his thigh. God, I was so hungry for him right then that it was almost embarrassing.

"I can't wait to have you buried in me." My tone was so dirty it surprised even me, it must've been the booze and drugs making me that way. His eyes darted up from his shaking hands working on my shirt and up to my eyes, and he wore an expression that looked like he could come right then. He pulled my shirt open and ran his hands up my sides, thumbs sliding over my ribs just below my sports bra.

"Yeah I bet you can't." He replied, his voice deep and gravelly as the corner of his lips tugged up into a smirk. He forcefully shoved my bra upwards, revealing my small, yet perky, breasts. "Woah, didn't take you for a nipple piercing kind of girl." He remarked quirking an eyebrow, looking pleasantly surprised.

I glanced down at my own body, the small metal bars had been there so long and I'd become so used to them, it was strange having them commented on. "Oh yeah, had them done when I was a stupid kid. I was going through a phase and I just kind of kept 'em." I laughed as he flicked one of the little studs.

"I like them." He took a moment to admire them before his lips were at my left breast and his hand was clamped over my right one. His tongue circled my pierced nipple before his lips were around it, sucking it and getting the little nub to harden in his mouth. He moaned and I sighed, one hand finding its way to his hair, the other resting atop his where it was squeezing my right breast. 

"Lord..." He groaned when he pulled his head up. He came up to kiss me again, his tongue inviting itself into my mouth. When he pulled back I felt his fingers dip just slightly below the waistband of my pants, and he looked at me suggestively. "Any more piercings I should know about?"

"No, I took _that_ one out years ago..." I nodded down my body towards where his fingers were brushing back and forth over my pubic bone, when be barked out a laugh I added, "And you think I'm joking."

Something flashed in his eyes then, a sort of urgency. Like he was suddenly done with being patient, and he captured my lips again. Then his hand was down my pants, finding the sensitive little bump between my legs with ease, and rubbing it in circles. I gasped at the suddenness, my lips parting. He took the opportunity to trap my bottom lip between his teeth and tug on it lightly before letting it go, running his tongue along the space where his teeth had been.

"Tell me how much you want me to fuck you." He whispered hungrily into my ear, slipping one finger inside me. 

"Oh god..." I sighed, my eyes clamping shut as he hooked his finger, finding my g-spot. 

"Go on, how much do you want it, baby?" He said slightly louder, and I could feel him rock his hips against my thigh.

"Fuck, I want-" I cut myself off with a shiver, I opened my eyes to see him staring at me with a look of pure, concentrated lust on his face. "I want it bad!" The words rushed from me in a sigh as he pressed hard against that sensitive spot. It was like he knew my body better than I knew it myself. Then I saw a figure appear behind him.

It happened in a blur, a rush, and it took me longer than it should have to figure out what had happened when Trevor's hand was suddenly no longer down my pants, and he was in fact on the other side of the room, pinned up against the wall.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Randy's furious voice felt deafening compared to how quiet it had been moments ago. He had Trevor pinned by his collar against the wall, and was yelling into his face with anger I'd never seen from him before.

"Randall!" I screamed at him, clambering onto my feet and pulling my bra down to cover myself as I approached him as fast as my drunken state would let me. Before I even got there, he recoiled from Trevor and doubled over in pain.

"Sorry buddy," Trevor lifted his hands and side stepped away from Randy, "you made me do it."

"Do what? What did you do?" I asked in a blind panic, I was unsure who to go to, who's side was I on?

"Kneed the little prick in the vagina. Pinning me against the wall like that, the fuck do you think you are?" Trevor spat, his face contorted in anger directed at my partner. He came to stand beside me as he watched Randy recover, and I noticed him wipe is wet fingers against his pants and I felt unbelievably embarrassed by the whole thing. Especially when I saw that Trevor was still very obviously aroused.

"What were you thinking, Emily?" Randy said breathlessly, straightening up and cupping his manhood with both hands.

"I don't think that's much of your business, what she was thinking when you rudely interrupted us." Trevor spoke for me, and adjusted his erection with an almost pained look on his face.

"I can do what I want, and who I want for that matter." I told Randy, frowning.

"You're drunk. That explains it." he nodded, and anger flared up inside me.

"Fuck off, you don't know shit. 'That explains it', bullshit! So what? I've had a drink! As if you've never been drunk and screwed around with someone." I narrowed my eyes at him then stepped forward and shoved his shoulder.

"But Trevor? Come on, Em' anyone but him." He shook his head and I rolled my eyes, turning away from him to look at Trevor. In reality, I was seriously pissed about being cock-blocked by my so called best friend. I don't care how much he hates Trevor, I wanted to screw him.

"Just come back to mine, we can carry on without interruptions." He said quietly to me as he beckoned me to him, pulling me close by my arms. He had his little smirk on and I was so tempted to say yes. But I'm the one who has to live with Randy.

"I better not. It'll make him insufferable." I leaned in and whispered that last part and we shared a giggly laugh. Evidently still drunk and high.

"Aw, come on, who cares?" he whined and put his hands on my waist. I wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled him into a hug, mainly so I could whisper in his ear.

"I do. Another time, though. I promise." I told him, and he nodded as I pulled away, yet still looked more than a little disappointed.

"Well," he said, looking between Randy and I, "I'm going home to jerk off." He gestured to the bulge still prominent in the front if his pants and started to back out of the room, then I remembered.

"Oh! Don't forget the meth." I pointed to the box he'd left on the floor and the two of us laughed as we remembered what he originally came here for.

"Ah! Thanks, sweetheart. What'd I do without you, huh?" He bent down and picked the stuff up and gave me a little nod and a sweet smile which made me want to follow him. Then he was gone, and when he was, I turned to Randy with one hell of a glare.

"So much for being civil with him. Why couldn't you just turn around and walk back out, pretending not to see a thing." I spat at him with venom in my voice and he blinked at me like he was shocked I was so mad.

"'Cause you deserve better than him." 

"Well you deserve better than most of the whores you've fucked but I don't stop you having a good time." I said, poking fun at his occasional evening spent with a working girl that he thinks I don't know about.

"I'm just looking out for you, he's no good." He raised his palms, ignoring my statement.

"Well what if I like bad boys?" I raised a brow and he rolled his eyes, turning to go into the next room. He can never stand me when I'm drunk and he's sober. I watched him leave, then sighed. I glanced around the room for something to do, and decided to continue what I was doing when Trevor first arrived. Try to find a damn signal on this shitty TV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think :)


	12. Alone Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a real weakness for fic scenes that involve Trevor touching himself I don't know I just... Oh I find it hot. I mean have you ever switched to Trevor and he's been in his bathroom doing you know what? Oh my god... Anyway I couldn't resist writing this, but I promise the next chapter will be a LOT longer, and actually have some plot xD enjoy!

I really probably shouldn't have been driving. I had way too much alcohol and drugs in my system, and my vision was pure shit. I found it difficult to focus on the road in front of me, but hey, it was barely a two minute journey home anyways, and being under the influence had never stopped me before. It made it more difficult to drive with one hand though, but I couldn't force myself to move the grubby hand pinned to the hard lump in the front of my jeans. Fuck. I wouldn't even need to be driving right now, I'd be happy as a pig in shit, balls deep in Emily if it weren't for _him_.

Randy. I found myself wondering why I didn't just beat the living shit out of him and get right back to what I was doing beforehand, ie. Emily. Jesus, I'd be lying if I said I hadn't been aching to bone her since my initial hatred for the girl had ebbed. And I had her right there, putty in hands, so fucking thirsty for it, too. She felt good, nice and tight around my finger, _I bet she'd feel even better around my cock_. I ground my palm firmly against myself, grunting as I did.

I pulled up outside my trailer not long after that, and quickly strode inside, grabbing the box of meth from the passenger seat as I did. I was so turned on that it literally hurt to have my jeans on any longer. I was half expecting Ron or Wade to be inside, just to piss me off, but luckily the place was empty, leaving me alone with the cigarette butts and stray beer bottles as I threw myself down on the sofa so hard it made the trailer rock. I immediately pulled the fly of my jeans open, and shoved the fabric down to my thighs, sighing when most of the pressure on my hard on was alleviated.

I wasted no time in pulling my dick out of the confines of my underwear, trapping it between my hand and my stomach, running my fingers up the underside then pausing at the end to press my thumb into the head. I couldn't remember the last time I'd been this worked up while jerking off, I'd been so fucking ready... A flash of anger swept through me again as I thought back to being interrupted. I was quick to push the image of Randall's stupid face out of my head, in favour of picturing Emily's. In the brief period of time I'd had my hand down those pants of hers, I fell in love with the way she'd bare her teeth and furrow her brow with this almost desperate look in her eyes as I touched her. Oh, she wanted it as much as I did.

I squeezed the base of my dick and slowly pulled upwards, savouring the sensation, then pulled my hand away and spat into my palm a couple times. As soon as my hand returned, I couldn't stop myself from giving these quick, rough pumps of my tight fist, huffing quietly with each one. My head rolled back to rest on the back of the sofa as I worked myself with a slick palm. Images swam easily in my head of all the things I'd do to her if she'd come home with me, she could be laying naked on this very sofa with me on top of her, fucking her into the dirty cushions, quick and rough, and she'd be loving it. She'd be trying to contain her little moans and whimpers, but every now and then one would slip out, and she'd feel embarrassed about it. So I'd make it my goal to get her groaning uncontrollably, and I'd succeed. Her hair would be a mess and her cheeks would be rosy, her bottom lip slightly swollen from biting it so hard. I bet that cocksure, confident way she usually carried herself would be gone, and she'd become this bashful, submissive little thing with my dick buried deep inside her.

My palm moved quick over my length, and the room was filled with that slippery, rhythmic sound as I lost myself in my head. _Fuck_. I repeated the word out loud over and over, noting the way my balls tingled, then I knew I was almost done already. God I wanted to fuck her, I really did. I would eventually, it was inevitable. Especially considering how wet she felt under my fingers, it said a lot about how she felt about the whole thing. _I want it bad_. Her own words played in my head, that's what she'd said to me in that hoarse voice of hers. That voice I'd once found obnoxious, high pitched and cracked, it was now strangely endearing to me. It was as desperate as her grabbing hands as she held onto me like I was the last thing keeping her on this earth.

"Uhh... God." I spat, my eyes squeezing shut. I could come right then, but held on for just a little longer to make the oncoming orgasm that much more intense. I wasn't a patient man by any means, but for this it was worth it. I imagined it was her around my cock, instead of my fist. I thought about the noises she might make when I drove her over the edge. I pictured her face, screwed up with eyes shut tight as her climax hit. When I squeezed the head of my cock right before I released, I pretended it was her tightening around me. When I came, I imagined spilling inside her rather than onto my chest and over my knuckles.

The orgasm I had was intense, and no doubt I groaned and huffed loud enough to be heard through the walls, but I bet it was pale compared to what it would have been if she was really there with me. When I opened my eyes I saw the result of my orgasm soaking stripes into the already filthy shirt I had on, and leaving my hand sticky and wet. I let out a quiet chuckle as I caught my breath, and I immediately wiped my hand on the sofa cushion next to me before pulling my shirt over my head and tossing it across the room. I tucked myself away and pulled my jeans back up before reaching into my pocket to retrieve my phone. I noticed then that at some point I'd received a text, I opened it up and smirked at what I saw.

_Sorry about Randy, we'll lock the door next time, yeah? ;)_ ~ Emily

I quickly typed out a response. _So thers a nxt time?_

My phone vibrated immediately with her reply; _Up for it if you are, T._

I smiled and let out a low growl. _Ur comin 2 mine after this job n we'll fuck like rabbits, k?_

_If we don't get locked up, sounds like a plan ;P_

I gave a short laugh, about to lock my phone when it started buzzing again, this time with a phone call. For a second I thought it might be Emily, and couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed when I read the name that popped up on the screen instead.

"What's up, Michael?" I spoke in a bored voice into the phone.

"Hey, T. You speak to that girl yet?" Michaels voice came through the line.

"She has a name, I told you it's Emily." I narrowed my eyes but then grinned, "And yeah, I spoke to her alright."

"What she say? Or sorry, what did _Emily_ say?" I didn't need to see him to know the bastard was rolling his eyes at me.

"She's in."

"Perfect, perfect. Means we can move soon. I'll speak to L and find out when's best to do this. Thanks, T." I could hear the grin in his voice, and I couldn't help but do the same. It felt like too long since we'd pulled a score like this, and I was fucking pumped for it. Especially since Emily was along for the ride.

"Don't mention it, M." I stood up and paced towards the bathroom.

"Cya round, buddy." He said, before he hung up. I tossed my phone onto the counter before pushing my jeans and underwear down, leaving them in the middle of the kitchen as I got into the shower to wash the cold, sticky mess off my chest that'd soaked through my shirt earlier. I was due a shower anyway.

The water was cold and stagnant, but after living here for ten years I was used to it. It was either freezing cold, or I could turn the temperature up just slightly and have it literally boiling instead. It was all or nothing, so I just left it how it was as I scrubbed myself with a bar of soap. I didn't stay in there long, I never did, I got out as soon as I'd cleaned the crap off of me and I smelled okay. Contrary to popular belief, I did care somewhat about my personal hygiene. But I'm a busy man, I don't always have time for bullshit like cologne and toothpaste, and in all honestly, I often simply _forgot_.

When I got out of the shower I grabbed the towel off the side and dried myself, I ignored the fact that this towel hadn't been washed in so long, using it probably defeated the purpose of having a shower in the first place. I wrapped it around my waist and glanced in the mirror, running my fingers through the damp hair on my head. It was getting long, getting to that length where it pissed me off and tickled my ears all the fucking time. I'd go to the barber shop to get a trim but I couldn't be bothered, and they always fucked it up anyway. Fuck it, I thought, and grabbed my razor from next to the sink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be up very shortly, like in a day or two, and I'm really excited to share it :3 its the robbery, guys!


	13. The Richman Job

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to research thermite, I really did, but it was hard to find some of the information I needed to make this chapter at least a little bit scientifically accurate... So it probably isn't accurate at all but hey! This is a story so it doesn't matter, right? Right??

I tapped my knuckles against the door, and my heart was in my throat. Today was the day, my first proper job with Trevor. It was 5:00pm as I stood outside Trevor's trailer and though I knew I should be psyching myself up for this job, I was instead preparing myself for seeing him again. After all, the last time we'd been in the same room, we'd almost slept together. 

The only contact I'd had with him since that day, was the text I'd received yesterday which simply read; _the thing i told u bouts on, my place at 5 tomoz_ , and his address. So I'd walked down after having to promise Randy I wasn't meeting Trevor purely to sleep with him, brushing it off as needing to talk about business. Not that it was anything to do with him anyway, and I sure as hell wasn't going to tell him we were robbing a millionaire. But Randy was the least of my worries right now, I was more concerned about facing Trevor after literally confirming that I'd sleep with him at some point, maybe even after this job. God. It's not that I was nervous, exactly, just slightly apprehensive. For all I knew, though, he could have been too drunk to even remember it. That evening was hazy for me, but something definitely happened, and I remembered enjoying it too.

"It's unlocked." I heard him yell from inside, so I let myself in. I was immediately greeted with the sight of Trevor stood in the restroom directly opposite me, taking a piss.

"Ugh, you could have warned me." I complained, quickly averting my gaze and shutting the door behind me. I occupied myself by glancing around his home. It was messy and full of random bits of litter, but it didn't bother me. Honestly, after living at the lab it almost felt homely.

"Oh please, I like to think you're gonna see my boy one day, anyway." He tutted, and I heard him finish up and zip himself away.

"You do?" I turned to him with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, and if the other day was anything to go by, I'd say it was a sure thing." He gave me this smirk as he strutted out of the bathroom, and I felt myself go red. 

"You're probably right." I admitted with a shrug, might as well be honest. Then I properly saw him. "You've had a hair cut." I said, surprised.

"Have I?" He mocked, touching his now completely bald head with a shocked expression.

I laughed and rolled my eyes at his stupid sarcasm. "It looks good." I smiled. I liked it, he looked younger and dare I say sexier now that all he had was a short stubble atop his head. It looked pretty badass.

"You think? I got fucked off with it and shaved it all off the other day. It wasn't exactly a bold fashion choice." He laughed and went into his bedroom, when he came back he was carrying some black clothes just like the ones he was wearing himself. "Got these for you, they look like they'll fit. It's best to wear something dark if you're robbing a place at night." He smirked and handed me the clothes.

"Thanks." I told him with a smile, then walked past him into his bedroom. I was about to take my shirt off when I sensed him looking at me. I turned and sure enough, he was leaning against the counter just watching me through the doorway. I paused and raised my brows.

"What?" He asked innocently.

"You're just going to stand there watching me?" I gave a short laugh.

"Sweetheart I've seen it all before, well, most of it." He looked me up and down with an expression that made my knees weak. It was kind of lustful but kind of possessive at the same time. I gave him a little mischievous smile before turning my back to him and pulling my button up shirt over my head. Fuck, if he wanted to watch, let him watch. This was a man that, as strange as it was to admit to myself sober, I planned on sleeping with. My shoes came second so I could take my pants off, leaving me stood there in just my sports bra and my pink underwear with little white polka dots on them. Not the raciest underwear I owned but did I really have a choice? 

I heard him give a low chuckle behind me, "Cute." He whispered, and I felt my cheeks go pink. I was about to put the clothes he'd given me on, but I heard his footsteps approach me and I paused, turning my head to look at him. He stopped just behind me and wrapped his arms around my front and pulled me into his chest. He used one hand to push my hair away from my neck on my right side, then he pressed his lips there. I sighed under the attention and allowed my eyes to close as both his hands returned to my body and he ran them up and down my sides and over my bare tummy, feeling me all over.

"Nice ink, by the way." He mumbled against my neck and it tickled, sending goosebumps raising along my skin. My eyes darted open and I burst out laughing.

"Oh, that." I shook my head, picturing the god awful flaming skull on the back of my right thigh. "My rebellious phase left me with more than just nipple piercings..." I told him quietly.

"So what's the story behind Ghost Rider down here?" He spoke amusedly into the shell of my ear as he ran a finger up the back of my thigh.

"My friend told me he'd ink me for free if he could pick the design." I rolled my eyes at my younger self's stupidity. "I was sixteen and drunk, but I don't see the stupid thing enough to regret it."

"You think that's stupid? I got an R.I.P tattoo for someone who was never dead." He laughed, but it was a cold sort of laugh.

"What?" I frowned, puzzled. I did remember seeing some kind of memorial tattoo on his arm, come to think of it.

"Ah, story for another day..." He mumbled. I hummed in response, not really meaning anything in particular. His hands moved down to my hips where his fingers dipped just slightly under the waistband of my underwear. My heart started to thud.

"You really do look cute in these." He pulled the elastic of my underwear and let it snap against my skin to illustrate his point. He was resting his chin on my shoulder now, looking down at my body. He rubbed my hipbones where they jutted out just slightly, then one hand began to wander down between my legs and my breathing hitched suddenly.

"Trevor." I whispered as his hand lingered over me, he was waiting for my permission it seemed. "We have a job to do." I reminded him, and heard him take a deep breath.

"Shit... Yeah." His hands retreated, sliding up my sides one last time before he planted a single kiss on my shoulder and backed away. I just kind of wobbled on my feet for a moment, taken aback by how much I hated the feeling of him pulling away from me. I suddenly felt cold without his body pressed against me, so I rushed to put the clothes on without looking back at him. I didn't even know if he was in the bedroom still, he was quiet.

He'd given me some tight black trousers that were a little long in the leg but otherwise fit fine, and a long sleeved sweater with a v-neck. I used the hair tie that I kept around my wrist to pull my short blonde hair back. The ponytail was short and a few awkward strands of hair fell back into my face, too short to stay back. I put my shoes back on, which were black anyway, and turned to leave the bedroom. Trevor was sat on the sofa, elbows leaning on his knees with a neutral expression on his face.

"I'm ready, what's the plan?" I said as I approached him. He looked up and smiled when he saw me, giving me a once over. He stood up, and I was half expecting him to touch me again, and I was even kind of disappointed when he didn't. Instead he walked past me, grabbing his car keys off the counter.

"Road trip." He said with a grin, backing out the door and beckoning me to follow.

"We going straight to the house, or..?" I asked him as we both climbed into his truck.

"Nope, we're going to Franklin's first, go over the plan properly. Plus, I need to introduce you to the guys." He grinned at me, and for the first time I felt a twinge of nerves in my gut about this job. It was accompanied with excitement though, which was always good. That familiar anticipatory buzz was well and truly present.

-

It didn't take as long as I thought it would to get back to LS, and this Franklin guy's house was enough to remind me exactly how the city was. The place was gorgeous, so modern and clean and there wasn't a piece of litter in sight. It was the polar opposite of Sandy Shores. I almost felt homesick. I felt like a fucking pauper as I entered the house, completely out of place. I'd never lived in the lap of luxury, even my old home in Murietta Heights wasn't a huge improvement from the likes of the meth lab. These guys must really make a living out of this life. Then I remembered, these were the people who took on the UD with Trevor, of course they were doing well for themselves.

"T, what's up?" A young guy approached us with a grin on his face when we entered the house. "You must be Emily." He turned to me and I nodded. I was more nervous about making a good impression on these guys than I was about the actual score.

"That's me, it's good to meet you." I smiled at him and reached my hand out to him, and he shook it.

"Yeah, you too. I'm Franklin." He nodded.

"Mikey here yet?" Trevor asked, walking past Franklin and I, inviting himself into the living room.

"Yeah I'm here." I heard another male voice call. Franklin turned and gestured for me to follow. Without Trevor right next to me I felt significantly more nervous, I took a deep breath. When we entered the room, there were two men I didn't recognise. One guy leaning against the window with a cigarette in his hand, wearing an expensive looking suit with the top few buttons of his shirt undone. He was handsome, in that criminal kind of way. The other guy was sat down on the sofa with a laptop in front of him on the coffee table, a walking stick resting against the arm of the chair next to him.

"So you're the new girl, hmm?" The second guy said, without looking up at me from his laptop. I cleared my throat before speaking.

"You could say that. I'm Emily, it's good to be working with you." I said with a confident smile on my face that was soon wiped off.

"I know what your name is, I also know that you're a known drug manufacturer with a history of violent offences including attempted murder, as well as armed robbery. Oh yeah, and how was prison?" He glanced up at me with a polite smile for that last part, and I almost threw up right there.

"Lester, give her a break. She looks like she's gonna pass out." The guy on the other side of the room, who I assumed was Michael, spoke up and began to step forwards. I just kept my eyes trained on Lester, mouth hanging open.

"You've been in prison? Shit, what's it like in the women's bit?" I heard Trevor ask, he was beside me again, eating an apple which he must've stolen from Franklin's kitchen.

"That was like four years ago, I was in there cause-" I started, but was soon interrupted.

"Because you assaulted a police officer, five months in the pen." Lester nodded and I just closed my mouth, choosing not to say anything.

"What's your point, L?" Trevor said, frowning at the guy.

"No point, I just thought I'd let everyone know who they're working with." He shrugged, squinting at the laptop. "She's also currently wanted for killing a bunch of cops after they raided her meth lab. She escaped with an unknown assailant, they were last seen in Vinewood Hills." He mused.

"Yeah? And I'm sure we're all wanted for stealing four tonnes of gold but you ain't bothered by that, specs." Trevor pointed out, and I heard Michael chuckle quietly.

"Shit, man. He's got a point, L." Franklin agreed, and I smiled at him appreciatively.

"None of us are angels, Lest, I ain't surprised she's got a history. Besides, what we supposed to do? Send her on her way now that she knows what we're doing?" Michael stubbed his cigarette out in an ashtray on the coffee table and looked up and nodded at me.

"Look, she's good, okay? She'll get the job done, you've got absolutely no reason to be a dick about it, alright?" Trevor stepped towards Lester, jabbing a finger at him as he spoke.

"Oh yes, as a psychopathic, serial killer, meth addict, I'm sure you're a fantastic judge of character." Lester laughed almost smugly to himself and eyeballed Trevor.

"Fuck off!" Trevor growled, flipping the other man off before turning abruptly and stomping towards me, settling next to me with an angry scowl on his face.

"Give it up, you two. Just fucking drop it, L." Michael sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"Well if you all still want to work with her there's not a lot I can do. Welcome to the team, I guess." Lester said, not particularly sounding bothered by the decision.

"Thanks." I said, hoping to sound somewhat sincere. I felt exposed and embarrassed having everything laid out like that. At least it didn't seem to have fucked up everyone's impression of me.

"Great, now that the introductions are over, what's the plan?" Trevor grinned and clapped his hands together once. The atmosphere seemed to lift after that, and Michael went straight into explaining the plan in detail. Simply listening to it got my blood pumping, and I was wearing a grin that stretched from ear to ear.

We would arrive at the house at ten in the evening, it's a Friday night so there will definitely be a party happening, which is in fact good for us. It means that everyone will be outside, leaving us free to do our job inside. We'll break in through a window at the side of the house, in an area that has lots of cover so we won't be seen. Franklin will be based near the entrance to the house, keeping a look out and taking care of any party goer's who wander inside. The jewels are in the basement vault just below a bathroom on the ground floor, so we'll go in there, set the thermite grenade off and let it melt through the flooring. Once it burns through and has cooled down enough, I'll hop down into the vault and fill every bag I'm handed with as much priceless jewellery as I can. But there's a catch. There's CCTV cameras inside the safe, which Lester will be hacking into and turning off while I'm in there, but he can only keep them down for approximately seven minutes. We want to have been and gone before anyone notices anything strange, so we have seven minutes to set up the thermite and let it do it's job, which will probably take about five minutes considering it needs to not be scalding hot when I climb through it. That leaves only a couple of minutes for me to get the jewels.

"Any questions?" Michael asked after his explanation.

"Yeah, how much am I being paid, again?" I asked, getting only laughter in response.

-

"Man, I guess this is it." Franklin said quietly from beside me in the black Oracle that Michael had acquired for the getaway.

"I guess it is." I turned and nodded at him.

"Everyone's clear on what they're doing?" Michael asked from the drivers seat up front, getting a nod from Franklin and I in response, Trevor let out this growl and slipped his balaclava over his head.

"C'mon, then. Let's go." He said with this voice that sounded angry, but the grin he wore behind his mask told me he was merely excited. I nodded and slipped my own mask on, watching as everyone else did the same. It all suddenly felt very real.

"You got the nade?" Michael asked Trevor, one hand on the door handle.

"Everything's in here, M." Trevor shook the bag he had over his shoulder, then quickly got out of the car. We were parked in a quiet area near the mansion, and we all got out, clutching a black sports bag each. Trevor led the way towards the wall that surrounded the mansion, I sped walked till I was close behind him. I felt sort of comforted when I was near him. Once we reached the wall, Franklin was first to climb it.

 _Shit_. I was never going to get up there, at least not without help.

"T, gimme a leg up." I whispered to Trevor, and he must've seen the panic in my eyes because he laughed at me, shaking his head in disbelief. Michael was next, climbing up a wall taller than himself and making it look easy.

"If M can do it then you certainly can. I mean he's tip toeing on the edge of a thrombosis half the time." He told me, poking fun at his friend.

"Just fucking help me." I narrowed my eyes at him and he laughed again, but obliged anyway, linking his hands together and letting me step onto them. I had one hand on his shoulder and one hand on the wall as he lifted me up, once I was high enough, I put one knee on the wall and pulled my self over, with a little unnecessary help from Trevor in the form of a hand on my ass, pushing me. I landed on my feet on the other side and joined the others where they were breaking the lock on the window, which seemed surprisingly weak considering nature of the house. It was only a moment before Trevor came up behind me, placing a discreet hand on my lower back, a gesture that simultaneously calmed me and made my heart race. I could hear music and chatter around the corner in the garden.

"L, we're just entering the place now." Michael spoke quietly through the earpiece he was wearing as he pulled the window open with a triumphant grin. He then pulled himself up inside over the window ledge, Franklin following him. I was pleased that the window was significantly lower than the wall and I could lift myself inside without embarrassing myself. Once we were in, Lester was eager to give us instructions on where to go. Franklin split off to fulfil his duties of playing guard after handing his empty sports bag to Michael, he was armed with a stun gun, and a silenced pistol _just in case_. The rest of us made our way through the house towards the bathroom.

The place was fucking huge. Like a goddamn maze. I was constantly worried that we'd bump into someone, but it appeared that the house itself was in fact empty. I'd never been anywhere like it, everywhere was just so lavish and over the top. The fucking carpet was softer and springier than the mattress I slept on. We walked through a dining room where the table was about the size of an entire room in any normal house, and there was a massive chandelier that looked like it cost more money than I'd ever owned in my life. I couldn't help but shake my head at the whole place.

"You know, I could afford a place like this." Trevor whispered to me, nudging me with his elbow as we walked.

"Yeah?" I turned to him with an amused smirk. Showy bastard.

"Yeah." He simply nodded and turned away with this stupid smug grin peeping out through the holes in his balaclava. I rolled my eyes.

"Right, L says it's just in there." Michael turned to us and nodded towards a door at the end of the darkened hallway we stood in. I saw his teeth glint when flashed a smile in the dark. Trevor took the lead then and invited himself into the room. Just like everything in this house, it was massive. It was over twice the size of Trevor's whole trailer.

"L, I'm about to set the thermite off. Let me know when the cameras are down." Trevor said, kneeling down in the middle of the floor where he pushed a plush rug out of the way and pulled the grenade out of his bag. He placed it on the floor and waited.

"I've already disabled the fire alarms, so you won't need to worry about that. Remember, as soon as you set that thing off, get the hell out of there and close the door. We don't need the hassle of you getting yourself killed." Lester grumbled through the earpieces we all wore.

"Jesus, it's like you think I'm an idiot." Trevor rolled his eyes, and Michael laughed, gaining a scowl from his friend.

"Alright, cameras are down in..." Lester started, and I backed out of the room, and so did Michael. "Three... Two... One... _Now!_ " 

Trevor set off the thermite and grabbed his bag, jumping to his feet and legging it to the door as quiet hissing sound began make itself known. He pulled the door shut behind him as he joined us outside, just managing to keep it from slamming too loud. I'd never seen him move so quick. We all then just looked between each other.

"You think it'll work?" Michael spoke after a while.

"Should do." Trevor said breathlessly as he glanced at his watch. "Fuck, I just hope the place don't catch fire." He laughed darkly.

"And if it does?" I asked, suddenly panicked. My heart was hammering now, my body was 90% adrenaline at this point, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't loving it. Trevor simply reached into his bag and pulled out a mini fire extinguisher.

"Safety first." He grinned. He turned to the door and carefully pushed it open just slightly before quickly closing it again with a maniacal laugh. "Fuck, it's like the fourth of July in there." 

I could hear the spitting and the hissing the reaction was making, but luckily it wasn't too loud. Last thing we wanted was people coming in to investigate. I leaned against the wall and simply waited, closing my eyes and listening to my own heart beat as my blood rushed in my ears.

"You alright, E?" I opened my eyes at Michael's words. It was weird being addressed by my initial, it'd been so long since I'd done any sort of robbery. I nodded at him with a smile.

"How's it going on your end, F?" He then said through his earpiece.

"All good, M. I'm finna join the fucking party out here soon, my ass is getting bored." I heard his quiet laugh crackle through the earpiece and smiled.

"There'll be time for celebrations later, F. Don't you worry." Michael grinned, and Trevor turned to me with a suggestive smile and a nod. My stomach did a little flip and I failed to stifle the little laugh that escaped me.

Trevor opened the door slightly again, then let out a low whistle and pushed it open fully, allowing us to see inside. 

"Well, it worked." I laughed and stepped towards the trash can sized hole in the floor with raised eyebrows. Michael appeared next to me with a couple of towels that he'd grabbed from a rack on the wall and soaked in tap water. He tossed them down on the ground and nudged them around the edge of the hole with his foot.

"That should stop you getting burned." He said, and I just nodded, ignoring the sizzling sound of rapidly evaporating water.

"Three minutes until the cameras switch back on, pick up the pace, people." Lester told us, and I took a breath before walking to the edge of the hole and dropping my empty bag down there.

"Here I go." I shrugged, then sat down on the edge and quickly slipped down through the gap. I made it down without injury and took a second to glance around my surroundings. I spotted the jewellery in these huge glass cabinets on the other side of the room, and quickly grabbed my bag and ran over to them. "Found the jewellery." I said, and I heard Trevor's voice come through from the room above me.

"Great, just fill your bag up as much as you can, sweetheart." He called and I nodded to myself. Luckily the cabinet wasn't locked or anything, and I could pull the first sliding glass door across with ease. 

"Don't worry about damaging the stuff, 's gonna be melted down anyway." I heard Michael say, and I quickly started to pull the priceless jewellery off of the stands in front of me, tossing it all into my bag.

"Okay, shit, there's a lot." I laughed as I worked, moving as quickly as my shaking hands would let me. In a matter of moments, I'd cleared out three cabinets, and completely filled my bag. I ran over to where the whole was and lifted the heavy bag up with some effort.

"Here, first bag." I told them in a strained voice before the weight was lifted out of my hands, and a new empty bag replaced it.

"'Atta girl." Trevor said as I made my way back over to the cabinets to repeat the process. After a while I'd gotten into a pattern and my movements were rehearsed and methodical. Grab the jewellery, toss it in the bag, grab more jewellery, toss it in the bag, move onto the next cabinet, repeat, repeat, repeat. Eventually I'd filled up all four bags that we'd brought.

"L, how long left?" I asked as I passed up the last bag.

"You got a good fifty seconds." He said, and I smiled. Perfect. Michael and Trevor were reaching in, about to pull me out before I quickly went back over to the last cabinet, which still had about fifty k worth of jewellery in it.

"E, there's no bags left, we can go now." Michael called through the hole.

"Wait a sec." I replied, grabbing all the jewellery I could and covering myself in it. I had rings on every finger, bangles up to my elbows and about eight necklaces around my neck. I grabbed the remaining pieces that I couldn't put on quick enough, like short necklaces or bracelets that I'd need to clasp around me, and stuffed them ungracefully into my pockets and down my bra. I wasn't letting a single thing go to waste.

"Twenty seconds." Lester said as I ran back over to the hole and grabbed the hands that reached down for me. The two men pulled me up, and one hand clasped onto the back of my pants to lift me, effectively giving me the world's biggest wedgie. It didn't take much to guess who that was.

"Christ." I grunted and struggled to get to my knees on the ground above, once I was safely out, my hands immediately went to adjust my pants. "Fuck, T, you tryin' to split me in half?"

"Sorry, princess." He said, but the laugh he gave just made me roll my eyes and storm past him, following Michael out the door. The jewellery I wore jangled together as I walked, I felt like I should start waving rags around like a fucking morris dancer. I glanced back at Trevor in time to see him cover up the hole we'd made with the rug.

"Should be a nice surprise for someone." He said to himself, and I smirked in amusement at the image of some poor bastard plummeting through the floor when all he wanted to do was take a piss.

"F, we're done. You can make your way back to the window we came in through." Michael said as he led us back the way we came, he and Trevor were both carrying two bags of jewellery each. I would have felt guilty if I weren't covered in the stuff myself. I winced and tugged around at my bra, trying to adjust some of the jewellery there, Trevor noticed and frowned at me.

"You okay?" He asked, raising a brow just slightly.

"I think I've got a diamond encrusted crucifix digging into my nipple or something." I told him bluntly, pulling at my sweater and looking down into my sports bra. I cringed at what I saw, it was worse. I had a necklace chain wrapped around my left nipple piercing. _Shit._

"You stuffed it all down your bra?" Trevor asked with a smirk, and I turned to him with this sad pout and nodded.

"Wish I hadn't." At that point, we arrived at the window, where Franklin was just climbing out. Michael climbed out after him and asked how things went, apparently nothing happened on his end at all, not a single person came close to entering the house. Trevor climbed out before me, and held my hand for support as I jumped down from the window ledge. By the time we were both out and had closed the window behind us, Trevor and I were the only ones left this side of the huge wall we had to climb. He took advantage of this short time alone together to grab me by my waist and push me against the side of the house.

"You've been perfect." He told me with a grin, then he leaned in and pressed his lips against mine through the small holes in our masks. My eyes widened, taken aback by the sudden kiss, and I quickly pushed him back with a laugh.

"Kind of in the middle of a robbery, Casanova, save it for later." I told him and walked over to the wall, ushering him to follow.

"Later, hmm?" He asked me with a hopeful smile, holding his hands out again to lift me up onto the wall. Once I was up, I sat on the edge and looked down at him for a second.

"If you're good." I turned around and slid off the wall onto the street on the other side. Michael and Franklin seemed to have already gone to the getaway car.

"I can be a good boy, if that's what you want. I'll be anything you like." Trevor whispered closely behind me once he'd joined me, snaking a hand down my arm to lace his fingers through my own.

"For now, but you can be as bad as you like, _later_." I winked at him, and he let out a groan in response.

"I think that's quite enough, thank you." Lester's voice came out of nowhere, and I suddenly realised, to my horror, that we were all still hooked up via earpieces.

"Fuck." Was all I could muster. I glanced at Trevor, who ripped the earpiece from his ear and stuffed it into his pocket angrily, looking just as shocked as I was. Michael turned the corner in the black Oracle we arrived in, Franklin in the passenger seat beside him. 

"Get in here, you fucking idiots." Michael grumbled, and I was thankful for the balaclava that covered the embarrassed red flush on my cheeks as I climbed into the back seat with Trevor.

"You didn't think to remind us we were broadcasting our _private_ conversation to you bunch of perverts?" Trevor all but yelled at the two men up front. 

"Shit, dude, we just felt kinda awkward. Neither of us dared say nothin'." Franklin said, laughing just a little bit.

"Unbelievable, T. On a job? You're disgusting." Michael spat as he began to drive. "You know, just because we ain't got the cops on our asses, doesn't mean you can start flirting at the scene of the crime, ya dick."

"Ahh, fuck you." Was all Trevor said, turning to look out of the window, looking utterly bored of listening to Michael already. 

"No, fuck you. Asshole." Michael retorted. Then everyone was silent. After a moment I realised that I was the only one still wearing my balaclava, and pulled it off. We drove aimlessly around for a while, I guess to make sure we weren't about to get ambushed by a bunch of cops who somehow knew what we'd done. After a while, Franklin turned to look at me and laughed.

"Didn't realise we were bringing Mr. T along." He gestured to the twenty million items of jewellery I was wearing and I glanced down at myself, having almost forgotten.

"Oh shit, yeah." I laughed and began to take all the crap off of me. I unzipped the bag on Trevor's lap and stuffed in whatever I could fit into the main pocket, before putting the rest into the various side compartments. I still had a few things down my bra, including the awkward bastard that had tangled itself in my piercing, and got to work fishing it all out, conscious of the pair of brown eyes fixed on me the whole time. Each time I dropped a new piece into my lap, Trevor would reach over and grab it and put it away himself. He probably wanted to appear helpful, but I guessed it was really because it had all been pressed against my tits for the past half hour.

"Right, I think we're clear. I'm gonna drop Franklin off at his place with the jewellery and then I'm driving back to mine. You two can have the car after that and do what you want with it." Michael glanced up at the rearview mirror at Trevor and I as he spoke.

"You mean I could keep it?" I jumped to ask.

Michael shrugged. "If you want, I mean, I'd get new plates and a respray. I stole it." He laughed, and I nodded.

"Right, right. Shit, thanks." I grinned. It'd be nice to have a car again after I ditched my van that day Trevor tried to kill me. I laughed at that thought. Funny how things change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope you enjoyed our little heist, this chapter was a lot if fun to write and I'd love some feedback!


	14. Relax

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been writing this like crazy over the past few days so I have some chapters written out, updates should be pretty regular :)

"How 'bout we order a pizza or something, 's been a busy day and I bet you're hungry." Trevor suggested, pulling me out of the little concert in my head as I mimed along to one of my favourite songs; Phil Collins ~ I Don't Care Anymore. Since this Ubermacht Oracle was decidedly mine now, Trevor couldn't stop me from switching the station over to Los Santos Rock Radio, even though he was driving.

"You know what, I could murder a pizza." I nodded. We were almost back at Sandy Shores now, having bid our farewell to Franklin and Michael and the jewels. Lester had told us we'd each be wired our cut in a few weeks, after he'd had it all melted down and done his money laundering magic. I was getting a 20% cut, just like everyone else, which I was surprised about. I'd expected my first score to have given me a lower cut, considering my assumed inexperience. Trevor said he'd talked Lester into it, and had demanded a kiss from me for his service. I'd sated him with just a peck on the lips.

"As long as you don't have weird shit on it like anchovies or olives." He turned and gave me a lighthearted warning glare. I laughed and shook my head.

"No, pepperoni is fine." 

"So you like a bit of sausage, do you?" He grinned impishly at me and I rolled my eyes, I should have known he'd make something of that.

"You are above the age of ten, aren't you?" I teased him, raising a brow.

"Last time I counted, yes."

"Then act like it." I flicked his arm and he snickered.

It wasn't long before he pulled up outside his trailer, cutting the engine and handing me the keys. I grinned, this car meant freedom. Freedom to go anywhere the fuck I wanted, whenever the fuck I wanted. I pocketed them and hopped out the car, following Trevor up to his trailer. He let us in and flicked the lights on, and went straight for the sofa, slumping down on the thing and kicking his shoes off into the middle of the floor.

"Home sweet home." He sighed, and pulled his phone out of his pocket. "Right. Food. What you having, pepperoni?" He asked as he scrolled through his phone.

"Sounds good to me." I nodded, pulling my shoes off and leaving them neatly by the door. I came over to join him on the sofa, he turned to me as he put the phone to his ear.

"Can you eat a whole one?" He asked, scratching his foot with his spare hand.

"A whole pizza?" I snorted, "Yes." I nodded definitely and he grinned.

"Good, that means I don't gotta share- Oh, hi..." He began to order our food and ended up getting two pepperoni pizzas and some French fries in a spur of the moment craving.

I shuffled back on the sofa and pulled my legs up, crossing them. I reached up to my hair and felt that, by now, most of it had fallen out of the hair tie I wore due to it's length, so I just pulled it out and let it fall around my face again. Once he had finished ordering, Trevor hung up and turned to me, slipping his phone back into his pocket.

"Usually takes an hour or so." He told me and I nodded, pushing the sleeves of my sweater up in the warmth of the trailer. "So what'd you think? About today, enjoy it?"

"I did, actually." I grinned. "It's hard not to love that rush."

"A woman after my own heart, it's the adrenaline, right?" He sat up and leaned forwards to me.

"That's it." I nodded eagerly and he chuckled. "I miss the rush, the buzz. I used to do this sort of shit all the time, back in the day. It was just Randy and I though, so the takes were usually small. But the feeling's the same." I looked down at a piece of paper on the floor as I spoke.

"That before you started cooking?" He asked and I nodded.

"Yeah. Money was better, selling the drugs, but... I don't know, sometimes I just need that feeling again. Like when we stole all those chems from the bikers, that was the first time I'd felt like that in years." I grinned at the memory.

"You get restless without it, huh?" He asked, as if he knew the story all too well.

"Right." I nodded and looked up at him.

"Stick with me. I can always get you a fix." He nudged me, and I laughed.

"This job. It's gonna pay out big, right? But you know what's funny?" I looked down again and shook my head. "When I first got here, I was determined to make money fast, and then get the heck out of dodge."

"I ain't surprised." Trevor shrugged, but sounded slightly miffed.

"But since all this started happening, you know, the job, the rush... It doesn't seem all that appealing now, leaving." I stated matter of factly.

"Then don't." He suggested, but I sighed and closed my eyes.

"Randy wouldn't want that, and we're this double act, we said we'd never split. Partners for life. I don't want to force him into something like this. He'd be miserable." I admitted.

"Think about yourself, it ain't all about Randy." He said, and he suddenly sounded angry, drawling my partner's name in distaste. "You feel like you gotta lie to him about pulling scores with me. Why?"

"He ain't involved in them. He's my partner, and I'm like... I don't know, betraying him?" I dragged my hand through my hair, pushing it out of my face.

"Betrayal? That's what you think this is?" He narrowed his eyes at me. "Look, I'm all about loyalty. But do you think I've never pulled a score without Mikey? Hell, I didn't invite him along to steal that cook stuff. That betrayal?" 

"No. You're right..." I sighed, looking at it like that, it did seem stupid.

"That man... Your partner, obviously thinks he has some sort of ownership over you," I laughed ironically, considering Randy said the exact same thing about Trevor, "Or has at least made you think that way, since you're all _I must stay bound to him_ about it." 

"What're you saying?" I squinted at him.

"Look, I got this theory, right? Been thinking 'bout it for a while and the other day, little old Randy confirmed it for me." He nodded and I looked at him expectantly.

"The other day?"

"Yeah, the other day at the lab when he walked in on us getting it on. The man just _went_ for me, didn't even hesitate. The look he had in his eyes, he wanted to fucking end me. And I know that look, I've seen it plenty of times directed at myself, there was no mistaking it." He laughed humorlessly.

"He was just angry, he thinks he's protecting me from you or something... Reckons you're dangerous." I rolled my eyes and leaned back on the sofa.

"Right, maybe... _Or_ , he's in love with you." He sat back with his palms stretched out towards me, like he'd solved some huge mystery. I laughed my fucking ass off.

"You're joking, yeah? You ain't serious..." I looked at him like he was crazy and he just frowned back like I was blind.

"No, you can't be serious if you ain't seeing this. He's your best friend, right? If you walked in on your _best friend_ with someone's hand down their pants, you'd just walk away and let 'em get laid, no?" He had this wild look on his face, and it was almost scary. When I didn't say anything, he carried on.

"Ah, but Randy..." He gave a short laugh, "Randy comes in, all guns blazing, and drags me off'a you like I'm some douchebag feeling up his girlfriend. Tell me that ain't weird."

My mind was racing at a million miles an hour as I took in his words. What he was saying was logical. I know if it had been the other way around I wouldn't have pulled a girl off of Randy. I'd have left him to it, but he didn't. As much as I hated it, Trevor had a point but the thing is, there was no way he could be in love with me. Not Randy, he's like my fucking brother and I've always felt as if the feeling was mutual. And I know him better than Trevor does, anyway, I've seen Randy with past girlfriends and he was totally different with them than he is with me. No, it was bullshit, coming from the overactive imagination of someone on meth.

"I think his love for me is purely platonic." I stated simply, hoping that it had the air of finality I intended it to have.

"Right. Okay, if that's how you want to see things." He shrugged and got up to grab a beer, handing me one without even asking if I wanted it.

"Thanks." I said quietly, cracking it open and taking a much needed gulp.

"But let me just ask you this, you know, out of curiosity." He started and I nodded at him, watching as he came to sit back down next to me. "Let's say he really was in love with you, what would you do?"

"I... Don't know." I looked away from him, my eyes widening in massive uncertainty.

"Would you keep... Whatever this is going?" He wagged his finger back and forth between us, his expression unreadable, and I frowned just slightly.

"What, is this a thing?" I mimicked his hand motion and let out a short laugh, he paused to just stare at me for a moment.

"C'mon. All the flirting, the kissing... The touching." The corner of his lips turned up in a lopsided smirk.

"Yeah but... We haven't actually _done_ anything."

" _Yet_." He inclined his head as if he was correcting me, and I looked away from him.

"You seem confident." I said quietly and tried to ignore the heat in my cheeks.

"Well you haven't tried to stop me before, you want it, right? You're into me." He scooted closer to me and wore an arrogant smile that made me role my eyes on instinct. I turned my head away from him and took a swig of my beer. When I looked back at him he was staring at my lips, and that smile was gone, replaced with a look of nonchalance.

"Alright, I'll admit, you've got something I like. I like bad guys." I told him, unable to stop the flirtatious smirk that appeared on my face.

"You think I'm a bad guy?" His eyes flickered up to mine and he flashed his teeth in a devilish smirk.

"We robbed someone today, we're both bad guys." I told him, leaning towards him, putting our faces a couple inches apart. His eyes darted left and right between my own.

"You like me because I'm a naughty boy, huh?" He chuckled quietly and I shook my head at his blatant suggestiveness and otherwise ignored the comment.

"Most girls like pretty boys. You know, those suit clad, cologne wearing, _nice_ guys." I glanced to the side and turned my nose up. "Never appealed to me. I'm a tattoos, scars, stubble and man-musk kinda girl. Personally." I leaned back with a sultry smile and drained the last of my beer while he watched, teeth clenched and hooded eyes unreadable.

"Can I have more beer, please?" I asked him sweetly, waving my empty bottle around. He nodded and got up silently, passing me a cold beer from the fridge.

"You're staying the night. Here." He told me after a few moments of silence where he just stood leaning against the fridge, watching me as I started on my second bottle.

"I am?" I blinked innocently at him.

"Yeah." He straightened up and stalked towards me, stopping in front of me. He pointed at me. "You and I have unfinished business. And I mean that in the most suggestive way possible." he spoke in a low voice, which was followed by a knock at the door. I smirked as he turned away to answer it, muttering under his breath. I didn't need to do much reading between the lines to know what he wanted right then. That longing look in his eyes spoke for him.

"Thanks." He mumbled to the man at the door, handing over a bunch of scrunched up notes from his pocket. He kicked the door shut behind him when he turned, hands full of the food we'd ordered. He handed me one of the pizza boxes without a word and sat down beside me, putting the box of fries between us of the sofa, seemingly disinterested in the grease soaking into the cushions through the cardboard.

"Thank you." I glanced at him and he nodded, waisting no time in getting stuck in. I grabbed a slice of the pizza, my mouth already watering as I watched the melted cheese stretch. I hummed happily as I chewed the first bite, nodding appreciatively. "Mmm, been a while since I ate pizza." 

"Good?" He asked me with a mouthful of fries.

"Fuck yeah. One of God's greatest inventions, pizza."

"Ain't it the truth." He agreed with a laugh, watching my mouth as I ate.

We ate mostly in silence after that. I was never very talkative during a good meal, and this was definitely a bloody good meal. Since the whole thing went down in Murrieta Heights and going from being homeless to living in a meth lab, eating wasn't really something I enjoyed much. All I ate was cheap, nasty stuff I could get for a couple dollars at the corner store, so pizza was a fucking banquet for me right now. I finished my whole pizza, and so did Trevor. The only food left was a couple of pizza crusts of mine, and the few burned fries that both of us had silently avoided in favour of the nicer looking ones.

"You don't eat the crusts?" He asked me, breaking the comfortable, food filled silence. I shook my head.

"I only like the bit with the topping on." I told him, washing down my food with a few chugs of beer. He looked at me gone-out and grabbed the leftovers from my pizza box.

"You can count on me to stop stuff from going to waste." He grinned at me before polishing off my crusts.

"Thanks for the pizza, Trevor." I smiled at him and he grabbed the empty box from my lap, stacking it on top of his own along with the fries box, and threw them all down on the floor by the door. He wiped his hands on his pants and glanced at me.

"You're welcome, sweetheart. Now, you never answered my question." He smirked. I frowned, confused.

"What question?"

"The one about Randy, and if he was in love with you." He reminded me, leaning back against the sofa, one arm resting over the back of it behind me.

"Oh, would I still respond to all your charming advances? Hmm..." I thought about it.

"Wait, wait, wait... Let me just straighten this out, they aren't _my_ advances, okay? I think this is a mutual thing. But thank you for calling them charming." He raised a brow at me, a smile playing around his lips.

"Whatever." I shook my head playfully then pursed my lips in thought. "I don't think it would change that." I said quietly.

"What, you wouldn't skip off, hand in hand, into the sunset with him?" He asked, amused, and I shook my head.

"Well I don't feel that way about him, never seen him in any light other than being my friend." I shrugged, going for another sip of beer. "I don't love him like that and it wouldn't change if I found out he felt that way about me."

"And what about me?" He asked, one corner of his mouth edging up in a curious smile.

"What about you? I'm not in love with _you_ , if that's what you're asking." I looked at him with a neutral expression, feeling a little bad when his smile slowly faded. 

"Of course not, I ain't that conceited, sweetie." He took a gulp of his own beer, glancing to the side as he did.

"I'll be honest though, I am attracted to you. I _like_ you." I told him, and he had a smile on his face when he looked back at me, but it wasn't smug like I was expecting. Simply content. "As if it wasn't obvious."

"Well I like your honesty. And for the record, feeling's mutual." He nodded, staring at me with that same smile.

"So... What now?" I asked, eyes briefly darting around the room before settling on him.

"What do you mean, what now?" He licked his lips and narrowed his eyes curiously at me.

"Well you like me, I like you..." I resisted the urge to laugh at how juvenile I sounded.

"You coming onto me, now?" He asked jokingly, but his eyes turned flirtatious.

"Might be." I shrugged and grinned at him. "We never got to finish what we started, did we?"

"You don't mess about, do you?"

I shook my head. "Not when I know what I want." I told him, pulling my knees up to kneel on the sofa.

"Oh, well what do you want?" He asked me sweetly, feigning naivety.

"I want to sleep with you." I told him bluntly, not playing his cute little flirting game. He laughed at my honesty and sat up, reaching for me.

"Jesus, your libido could rival mine." He teased, sliding his hands over the curve of my waist and hips as I shuffled closer to him on my knees.

"You just have a way of making me want you." I shook my head and planted my hands on his thighs. He looked pleased with himself.

"Let's just pick up where we left off." He said, then he was pulling me close to him, one hand going to my thigh, the other to my chin where he pulled my face forwards to capture my lips in a kiss. Being significantly less drunk than the other day, I could appreciate exactly how his lips felt against my own, how that thin slash of scar tissue felt where it interrupted the otherwise soft skin of his upper lip. How his stubble felt as it brushed against my face. I could taste him, a bitter taste similar to that of alcohol yet with a hint of something sweet. A flavour I could easily become addicted to. I could smell him up close, distinct and strong but not entirely unpleasant. He had an earthy scent that reminded me of that smell that comes just after it rains. I could feel the vibrations from his little hums of approval. The combination of it all had me practically throwing myself at him, I had my fists balled up in the fabric of his shirt before I'd even noticed I'd reached for him. 

His hand crept up my thigh, meeting the space between my legs, fingers rubbing through the fabric of my pants. I felt sensitive and slightly desperate, and my hips jutted forwards into his hand with a sharp grunt which came from the back of my throat.

"Aw, just fuck me." I told him when he broke the kiss to breathe, I was breathless and needy but he showed me mercy with a nod. He'd just reached for his fly when there was a fucking knock at the door.

"Motherfucker!" He near-yelled, his hands going lax either side of the tent in his pants and his face screwing up in anger. "If I have to sport another fucking boner in front of other people because of you I'm gonna flip my shit!"

"Ignore it." I told him, sliding my hand up his thigh. He slowly nodded, eyes softening as they fell on my hand, which had made its way to the bulge in his pants. Oh God he felt so good under my hand, thick and rigid with the odd twitch thrown in. I craved him like a drug. He groaned as I squeezed him, but it soon turned into an angry growl as a voice came through the door.

"Tr-Trevor? Are you in there?" It was a male voice, jittery and weak. "It's me-"

"And Wade!" A second voice called, it sounded younger, child-like.

"Fuck." Trevor spat, catching my hand and begrudgingly pulling it away from his crotch. "I need to get that." He told me apologetically, a frown on his face. I nodded, trying to hide my disappointment as I leaned back on the couch.

"Jesus Christ." Another obnoxious hammer on the door had him growling again, and he got up and stormed towards the door, swinging it open so hard it bashed against the wall behind it. "The fuck do you want?" He yelled to the poor guys outside.

"S-sorry, T, is this a bad time?" The first man said, he was cowering away from Trevor, a horrible, guilty wince on his face.

"Yes it is, just get in here." Trevor grumbled, stepping to the side. The second guy who spoke was the first to walk in, Wade, I assumed. He seemed happier than the other guy, quietly moseying past Trevor into the trailer, he was carrying a brown paper Cluckin' Bell bag.

"Oh, hi there. You Trevor's friend?" He turned to ask me with a friendly smile, he jerked his head to flick away the dreadlocks that fell into his eyes. I nodded and smiled back. "I'm Wade."

"I'm Emily." I told him, giving him a small wave.

"And this pathetic slime ball is Ron." Trevor announced as he shoved the other man into the trailer, slamming the door behind him. I resisted the urge to look at the bulge I knew resided in the front of Trevor's pants, as to not draw attention to it. I instead focused on suppressing my own arousal. "Meet the guys who've been selling your meth."

"You's the one who makes it?" Wade asked, looking surprised.

"Yeah, I'm the new Chef." I smiled sheepishly.

"What did you come here for?" Trevor grumbled, reaching for the beer he'd discarded earlier.

"We came to give you the money- _Wade_ -" Ron prompted the younger man to hand the Cluckin' Bell bag over to Trevor, "From the, uh, sales." 

Trevor glanced into the bag and nodded. "You sell it all?" 

"Yes, apart from the agreed amount for uh, _personal use_." Ron said, and Wade nodded in agreement.

"Good, great, fantastic. You can go now." Trevor nodded, tossing the bag onto the sofa next to me.

"But, uh, we got anymore? You know, stuff for us to sell?" Ron asked, tapping his fingers together anxiously.

"No. Emily's been busy working with me on a score, we'll have some more in about..." Trevor trailed off and looked at me for guidance.

"About a day or two. I'll get it done quick." I nodded definitely.

"Yeah, and in the meantime just keep doing what you do." Trevor told the boys and walked over to the door, opening it for them. Ron nodded and scuttled out the door like a spooked animal.

"Nice meetin' you Emily. Bye Trevor." Wade beamed as he followed his friend out the door. I nodded and said my goodbyes.

"Goodbye, Wade." Trevor said, sounding strained. He closed the door after them and turned to me, face like thunder. "I'm going to shoot the next person who interrupts us, I swear. I don't care who it is."

"I know, come here." I told him soothingly, waving him over.

"No, really. Jesus Christ could have his second coming on my front porch, wouldn't matter." He growled, teeth clenched, and slammed his beer down on the counter beside him.

"Okay, baby. Relax." I told him, standing up when he made no move towards me. 

"Relax? I'm fucking enraged, all I wanna do is-" he stopped mid sentence once I'd reached him and pressed my hand to his groin, and sighed at my touch.

"Relax." I repeated, whispering the word into his ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure you'll be pleased to know, sexy times is coming up next!


	15. Pour Some Sugar On Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy ;3

If there's one thing in this world that turns me on more than anything, it's the sound of a man groaning, and the feel of him shivering because of my touch. What can I say, I like being in control of a situation, and I'm never more in control than I am when I have a man at my finger tips and I'm soley responsible for his pleasure. With my hand sitting comfortably over Trevor's privates, giving him teasing strokes and squeezes, I was first in command, and I was marvelling at the sounds he was making. Soft, quiet sounds, but I could make them louder just as easy as turning up the volume of a radio.

"No one's going to interrupt us now. Third time lucky, right?" I told him, running my free hand up his chest to his shoulder.

"Right." He gave a breathy chuckle and moved his hands, which had been hanging limply at his sides since I first touched him, to my cheeks. He bent down to my level and kissed me. I must've set the tone with my slow, delicate touch as his kiss was gentle and lacked the animalistic hunger that was usually present. Though the passion certainly wasn't lost. 

"You know, I've never known anyone with whom I've shared more sexual tension, than you." I told him honestly once I'd broken the kiss, slipping my hand into the waistband of his pants and past his underwear, taking a fistful of him. "And I think it's high time we relieved some of that."

"I think it's long overdue." He nodded, dipping his head into the crook of my neck as I began to jerk him at a moderate pace, nothing too quick just yet. I felt him start to suck on the space between my neck and my shoulder, and I grinned to myself. Last time someone had given me a hickey, I was still in education. His hands shamelessly groped my backside, squeezing and smacking it, his enthusiasm made me think he'd been wanting to do so for a while. His groans and hums were felt on my neck, raising goosebumps on my skin. When he started bucking his hips forwards into my hand, I stopped, and pulled my hand out of his pants.

"Sit." I told him, my lips curling into this mischievous smile. He looked at me curiously, doing as he was told and striding over to the sofa, planting himself down.

"You're more dominant than I thought you'd be, look at you, calling the shots." He grinned at me, seeming pleasantly surprised, watching as I approached him and stood between his legs.

"What, you thought I'd be some shrinking violet?" I asked, amused. I placed my hands on his shoulders and ran them back and forth over the solid muscle I found there.

"Something like that." He shrugged, his eyes dipping to my body then back up to my eyes.

"You thought wrong." I told him with a wry smile, then dropped to my knees between his legs. He watched me with curious eyes, slightly too wide to be considered casual. When I hooked my fingers in the waistband of his pants, he willingly raised up from the sofa slightly to help me pull them down to his thighs. I didn't know if he was expecting me to pull his underwear down with them, but I did, and he chuckled as I exposed him. I suppressed a smile as I looked at the size of him. I was going to have fun with him, I could tell.

"How do I compare to precious Randy?" He looked at me suggestively, and I knew exactly what he was asking, even though he didn't ask me outright.

"Please don't mention him now." I looked up at him and raised a brow in mild annoyance.

"Come on, which of us has the most to offer?" He looked confident, and his grin grew when he saw a small smile appear on my face.

"You're a lot thicker." I admitted, and he nodded, as if he expected as much. He didn't say anything, but the cocky smile he wore spoke for him. "I'm not here to inflate your ego, Trevor." I laughed, then ran my hands up his thighs.

"I know, I know... It's just nice to have my suspicions confirmed." He grinned, then reached for a chunk of white blond hair that hung and almost covered my right eye, and pushed it behind my ear. His hand lingered by the side of my face for a moment before he pulled away. After a quiet pause, I finally wrapped my hand around his length and began to stroke him. I smiled as he began to groan again. God, I loved that sound.

He stared me dead in the eye as I touched him, and neither of us looked away when I leaned forward and ran my tongue over his tip. He whispered profanities as he watched me, which increased in volume when I wrapped my lips around him and began to suck. I moved my lips slowly over him, enjoying the way his face would contort into all sorts of expressions when I focused my attention on certain areas. When he reached his hand foward to my hair to hold it out of my face as I worked, I upped the ante and took his length into the back of my throat, resisting my gag reflex as best I could.

"Oh fuck, you're amazing." He told me, his voice wobbling just slightly. When I pulled off of him, I took a moment to wipe away the spit that had dribbled down my chin. When I went back to him, I focused on the head of his length, sucking and licking it as my hand worked his shaft. I jerked him more quickly than I'd been doing before, and the noises he made were more intense, and they ignited something in me and all I wanted was to have him groan like that into my ear while I fucked him into oblivion. I pulled off of him and gave him one last lick from his balls to his tip, then stood up.

"You turn me on so fucking much, Trevor." I told him, then reached for my shirt and pulled it over my head. He quickly scooted forwards on the sofa and put his hands on me, feeling the curve of my bare waist.

"Finally, a woman who ain't afraid to admit it." He grinned at me, and licked his lips as he watched me take my bra off. He planted a kiss between my breasts, then grabbed the small mounds and pressed them together, giving me cleavage that I thought was pitiful, but he seemed to appreciate as he ran his tongue up the small valley. When he let them go, he grinned at the way they bounced.

"They're so fucking tiny." I commented, looking down at my chest with a blush on my cheeks. I felt him stare at me for a moment, then he wrapped his arms around me and rest his chin on my chest, looking up at me.

"Anymore than a handful is a waste." He told me, a smile curling his lips, "I like them."

I chuckled at his words and shook my head, when I raised my eyes to look at him he wore an expression teeming with want. He planted another kiss between my breasts then he brought his fingers to the waistband of my pants and tugged them down slowly to reveal those pink, polka dot panties he'd seen earlier, before the robbery.

"God, you're just so cute." He whispered and I laughed.

"I'd love to be able to show off some racier undies, but you know my wardrobe is limited." I told him, and he shook his head.

"No, I feel like I'm corrupting some innocent little flower. I like it." He grinned at me then glanced back down to my underwear. "Come here." He guided me to the sofa to sit down next to him, then grabbed my legs and pulled them sideways, forcing me to lay on the sofa lengthways. He took a moment to push his pants off fully, leaving them on the floor, then his shirt came off and joined them, leaving him completely nude. I allowed my eyes to shamelessly oggle him.

He adjusted his position so he was leaning over me, and he ran a hand down the length of my body from my shoulder, over my breast, over my stomach and to my thigh. He leaned in and kissed me, pressing his tongue into my mouth. I groaned into the kiss as we tasted each other, liking the way his hand brushed over the inside of my thigh, close to the space covered by my underwear. He hooked his fingers into the front of my panties and broke the kiss so he could watch as he pulled the pink material away. Once they'd reached my thighs, he shuffled backwards so he could pull them all the way down my legs. He quickly pushed my legs open, one dangling off the edge of the sofa, the other resting against the back of it, and he kneeled between them.

I gasped when he bent down and pressed his tongue against my opening, tasting me. He pushed his tongue inside of me and looked up at me. Oh fuck, looking him dead in the eye while he did that to me drove me crazy. He pulled his tongue out and moved it to my clitoris, flicking it and rubbing it in circles as he pressed two fingers inside me.

"You taste so fucking good." He pulled away to tell me, then planted a kiss on my clit. His fingers moved in and out of me quickly, and my insides did little flips with each time he buried them to the knuckle. He sucked on my clitoris as he fingered me, and I couldn't suppress my moans even if I wanted to. I reached down and rest my hand against the back of his neck, and he hummed against me, sending these little vibrations.

"Oh fuck..." I sighed, rolling my head back against the sofa for a moment before I decided I liked it better when I could look into his eyes as he pleasured me. After a moment he pulled back and moved back up to my face to kiss me again as he continued to use his fingers on me. He bit at my lips then moved over my jaw and to my neck giving me playful nips with his teeth as he went. He picked a spot on my neck, just below my ear, and began to suck on it, giving me a second hickey.

"You like giving love bites?" I asked him breathlessly, a grin on my face as his biting and sucking tickled me. 

"I want people to know you're spoken for." He mumbled against my skin before going back to his nibbling.

"Wow, that sounds serious." I raised my brows, aware of how possessive that sounded when I was under the impression that this was just a casual fuck. My heart thudded and swelled though, and I was scared of what that told me.

"I'm not prepared to share you with anyone, not now I've had a taste." He pulled back, admiring his mark on my neck before he pulled his fingers out of me and licked them, and it almost illustrated his words. For some reason, I smiled. He'd made me happy by telling me that, but it terrified me at the same time.

"Come on. Pour some sugar on me." I grinned at him and he stilled, looking at me with a frown.

"Is that a song? Did you just use a song lyric?" He looked at me disbelievingly, but there was a smile somewhere in there too. I burst into a laugh.

"It's Def Leppard, but seriously, I want you. Now." I pressed my hand to his chest and he shook his head with a chuckle. He adjusted his position above me, and was about to enter me, but he paused.

"Shit. Condom." He said, then quickly got up and rushed into his bedroom. Christ, that was fucking close. I'd shocked myself, usually I was so careful about using protection, but with Trevor it hadn't even crossed my mind.

"At least one of us remembered." I shook my head when he returned, fully prepared this time.

"Guess we just got caught up in the moment." He smirked at me as he approached me, and I sat up. I grabbed his hand and pulled him down to sit beside me, then I crawled onto his lap and straddled him.

"I like being on top." I whispered to him, and he nodded, I saw him swallow hard. I shuffled forwards on his lap, and wordlessly lowered myself onto his cock as I pressed my forehead against his. We were both breathless by the time he was fully inside, and I had absolutely no patience for taking it slow, so I immediately started moving my hips.

"Fuck, I've been wanting this for weeks." He told me, his hands going to my backside where he squeezed and groped me. I'd already got a good pace going, I was never one for slow sex. He bucked his hips up into me below me, grunting at the friction.

"Me too." I replied, a grin forming on my face as I bounced up and down on him. I heard stuff in the trailer rattle due to our movements. 

"You wouldn't believe the number of times I've come over the image of us doing this." He said, his voice little but a needy growl. The thought of him touching himself over me turned me on more than I'd have imagined. I kissed him roughly, groaning against his lips.

"I don't remember the last time I craved a fuck this much." He told me in that same gravely tone. Oh my God if he keeps talking to me like this, it'll be over too quickly.

"Fuck, me neither." I told him, and my words came out quietly with a sigh. "I'd be lying if I said I'd never fantasised about you." 

"Oh yeah?" He kissed my neck and ran his tongue over the purple flourishes on my skin there.

"Yeah. I thought about the sounds you'd make. Fuck. I like hearing your sounds." I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around his neck as I spoke. 

"Mmh yeah, I like hearing yours, too." He told me, leaning back to look at me. His eyes darted over my face, taking in every pore.

"I wondered how you'd feel in my hands, how big you'd be. How you'd taste." I licked my lips and glanced down, watching his cock move in and out of me. "I imagined what you look like when you come."

"I fucking love you." He said, his voice wavering as he grabbed my face and pulled it to his so he could kiss me. He snaked one hand down my body to rub my clit as we fucked.

"You're gonna make me come." I told him when I broke the kiss to get some oxygen. I ran my hands over his chest and up to his shoulders, squeezing him and digging my nails in slightly. I was gasping and panting, the odd groan escaping. I was close.

"Yeah, I want you to come. Don't hold back. Fuck, I'm close." He bit his lip and huffed with each of our thrusts. My legs were getting weak and had turned to jelly, but I managed to keep my pace up as I worked up to my climax. With his free hand he grabbed my breast, while he worked my clit with the other. He circled his lips around my pierced nipple and sucked, flicking it with his tongue as he did.

"Oh God... Trevor." I groaned the words, desperately moving against him, completely absorbed in the pleasure he was giving me. I was shaking all over, and with one last thrust hitting just the right place, I was gone. I yelled profanities and I was probably painfully loud, my eyes were squeezed shut and I let out these guttural moans as I came. Trevor let go of my nipple and his head rolled back against the sofa, those magical groans of his were more intense than ever, and I knew he was coming. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my body against his as I rocked against him, enjoying the last few sparks of pleasure from my orgasm.

"Fuck..." Trevor whispered breathlessly, his hands resting on my hips as the two of us recovered. "That was better than I pictured." 

I was still pressed against him, my head resting on his shoulder with my face buried in his neck. I was content and fully prepared to lay like this with him forever, swimming in the afterglow. Laying like this, I could feel his heartbeat, it was just starting to slow down, beating just out of step with my own. I closed my eyes and got lost in the rhythm for a while.

"Emily?" He whispered, as if he thought I was asleep. I opened my eyes and leaned back to look at his face for the first time since we'd finished. He grinned at me when he saw me. "Good, I was worried you'd dropped dead or something."

"I just didn't want to move." I smiled at him, then raised up off of him slightly, allowing him to slide out of me.

"I know what you mean." He ran his thumb over my rosy cheek almost affectionately, and I found myself leaning into his touch before he pulled his hand away. It scared me how much I wanted his touch, how much I wanted him to hold me and kiss me. I put it down to the flood of hormones in my system thanks to my climax. "Come on." 

He shifted beneath me and I took the hint, climbing off of him onto my shaky legs. He stood up after me and guided me to his bedroom, pulling off the condom and tossing it into the toilet as he passed it. In his room, I spotted the combat trousers I'd changed out of earlier and I meandered over to them as he threw himself onto the bed.

"Mind if I smoke in here?" I asked him as I pulled my cigarettes and my mobile out.

"You smoke?" He frowned at me, looking a little disappointed. I raised a brow.

"Yes. Don't you?" I asked, gesturing to the ash tray on the set of drawers beside me.

"It's bad for you, you know that, right?" He dodged my question and I rolled my eyes. I grabbed the ash tray of the side and joined him on the bed.

"So's meth. Can I smoke or not?" I grinned teasingly at him.

"Go for it." He had an amused smile on his face, and he rolled onto his back, folding his arms behind his head. I sat cross legged next to him and lit up a cigarette. I checked my phone and noticed I had three texts and two missed calls. All from Randy.

"Aw, shit." I winced as I read the messages. He was worried about me. I'd been gone for hours and it was now past one in the morning. He probably thought Trevor had murdered me or something.

"What?"

"Randy's been wondering where I am. Is it okay if I call him?" I told Trevor. He rolled his eyes but nodded. I immediately dialed my best friends number and put the phone to my ear. He picked up after a couple of rings.

"Emily, thank fuck. Why haven't you been answering my texts?" He sounded relieved, yet pissed. 

"Sorry, my phones been on silent, only just noticed them." I bit my lip and looked over at Trevor, who was watching me. I took a drag from my cigarette and prepared for Randy to have a go at me.

"Okay. I was just worried about you... How is the business talk with Trevor?" I raised my brows. He might sound pissed and he sure as hell saw through my 'business talk' bullshit, but he wasn't calling me out on it.

"Good, it's all good. Listen I'm, uh, staying the night here. We lost track of time and it's pretty late..." I trailed off, and I heard him sigh.

"Right, okay."

"I'll see you tomorrow, alright?" I felt guilty. Randy sounded strange, wounded somehow.

"Yeah, sweet dreams, Em." He told me.

"You too, night Rands." Then he hung up. I frowned and locked my phone. I was expecting him to shout at me, that's what he'd usually do if I'd worried him like that. But instead he just... Left it. 

"You okay?" Trevor asked, and I sighed, stubbing out my cigarette after one last drag, then laid down beside him. I rolled onto my side and pressed myself against him, he immediately wrapped an arm around me.

"Yeah, Randy's just acting weird. I thought he'd yell at me just now, that's what his over protective ass usually does. But he didn't."

"You're concerned because he didn't yell at you?" He snorted.

"If you'd have known him for as long as I have, you'd be concerned too." I laughed.

"Why is he so protective over you anyway?" He asked, and I could hear the judgement in his voice. I knew he'd put it down to his theory that Randy's in love with me.

"Might have something to do with the fact that years ago I almost got myself killed for getting involved with a drug dealer." I told him, when he didn't say anything, I added, "And he's probably worried that history is repeating itself."

"I'm not going to kill you, Emily." He said sternly, and I felt him go rigid from head to toe.

"I know you aren't." I closed my eyes and regretted mentioning anything.

"Tell me what happened." He asked, his voice considerably softer.

"What, with the drug dealer?" I wondered, and he nodded. "Right, well it'd be easier to start from the beginning. When I was a kid, like fourteen, something really shitty happened in my family, and it ended up making me move in with a few friends."

"What was it?" He asked, and I clammed up for a moment, unsure of what to say.

"It's a long story... Some other time. It ain't important right now." I told him and I was relieved when he didn't press the matter. "Anyway, I lived with these people, older kids whose band I joined. See, I've played the drums since I was like six. So there was Cindy, Rick and Archie. When I moved in they were all like eighteen or something."

"The drums, huh? You never mentioned that before." I felt him looking at the top of my head and I just shrugged.

"It's been a while since I played. Well I met Randy through Archie, his brother. He was a drug dealer and he pulled scores, just like we do, but of course at fourteen I didn't really grasp the concept of 'bad influences'. Long story short, five years down the line I was dating him, working with him, and eventually cooking for him. He was the one who taught me how to cook, also the reason why Randy and I started doing armed robberies in the first place."

"This Archie guy, he the one who tried to kill you?" Trevor asked, and I shook my head.

"He wasn't the guy, just the reason. When I was twenty-two, we'd been together for three years, and he made a bad deal with a bad person. He ripped this person off, big time, and it ended up costing him his life. Almost cost me mine too, but adrenaline is one hell of a hormone. I ended up stabbing this guy four times with one of those poker things you use to stoke a fire." I made jabbing motions with my hands. "First person I ever killed."

"Wow..." Trevor breathed, and when I looked up at him, he was staring at me with raised brows.

"It was self defence, he was there with a baseball bat and was about to bash my skull in." I leaned my head against his chest and continued with my story. "Randy was there to help me burry the body, and that's when we moved to Murrieta Heights and started up our own operation, this time running it right. It was only then that I found out how much meth was really worth, and I realised that Archie had been seriously underpaying me the whole time."

"So am I right in assuming, you were glad in the end?" 

"Not glad, just not bothered. It was only after he'd died, Randy and I actually admitted that Archie was an asshole. He treated us both like crap and frankly, we were better off on our own." I shrugged.

"So that's why he's so overbearing... He thinks you're going to have to poker someone to death again." I heard the smirk in his voice, and I knew he was trying to lighten the mood.

"Glad you find my traumatic past so amusing." I scalded him jokingly, but gave him a smile to show him that I wasn't genuinely upset. He squeezed my shoulder.

"That's quite a past you got there, could rival mine for drama."

"You should see the fucked up mess that is my family tree." I snorted, "What's your story?"

"Alright, Michael. The guy we robbed that house with? Get this. Nine years ago, faked his own death to his best buddy. I grieved for him, and he wasn't even gone."

"Oh shit, now I get your tattoo..." I said softly, running my hand over his chest, hoping to comfort him.

"Yeah, he let me think he was dead for a decade. What a bastard, right? And that ain't even the worst part. He leaves me on the run, no cash, no nothing, while he cuts a deal with the FIB and gets to sit on his fat ass on a sun lounger outside a fucking mansion in Rockford Hills the whole time. Then he has the _cheek_ to get me involved in his little lapdog errands for his FIB buddies, the whole time giving me shit for fucking up his _retirement_." He was angry, really fucking angry. So angry that I felt bad for asking him in the first place. His grip on my shoulder had tightened enough so it hurt just slightly, but I didn't mind.

"I'm sorry, Trevor." I turned my head and planted a number of kisses on his chest, and I heard his breathing even out a little. I leaned up and kissed him on the lips, and when I pulled back I smiled at him. "Aren't we a sorry pair." 

"That's why you should stay here in Sandy Shores, instead of leaving just to keep Randy happy. People like us need to stick together." He said quietly, he was no longer angry, just... Sad.

I didn't say anything in response, I just kissed him again, because I didn't know what to say. And I was scared that if I did say something, it'd be something stupid that I'd regret, like the fact that I really didn't want to go. The thought of leaving this place, leaving Trevor and removing him from my life just like _Randy wants_ , makes me feel nauseous. I'd like nothing more than to stay here with him because honestly, little by little, I felt myself falling for him. And now I'd started, I couldn't stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the start of a lot of smut. Flood gates are open!


	16. Sussudio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh damn, drama time.

When I woke up, I was alone in Trevor's bed, tangled up in the sheets with my legs hanging off the edge. I sat up and noticed my clothes were almost-neatly piled at the foot of the bed, and I could hear Trevor mumbling to himself in the next room, but I couldn't make out his words. I arched my back, feeling those satisfying cracks travel up my spine, and groaned quietly.

The previous night came back to me then, and I smiled. God, we'd done it, actually done it. Slept together. And it was good, probably the best sex I'd had to date. I remembered the feel of his hands all over me, and his lips on my neck, and briefly wondered what sort of state my neck was in after Trevor had done with me. The thought of what we'd done quickly made me crave his touch again, I liked the feel of his body pressed against mine and it was a sensation that I wanted to feel again and again. I left my clothes on the edge of the bed and wrapped the sheets around me instead, and padded out of the room in search of Trevor.

"Finally, you're up." He turned to me once I'd reached the doorway. He was stood at the kitchen counter with a pile of cash in his hands, and another two piles on the surface in front of him. He was counting it out.

"What time is it?" I asked him as I raked my fingers through my hair to tug out the knots, I allowed myself to look over his half naked body, covered only by a pair of sweat pants.

"Past noon." He smirked amusedly at me as he spoke, then looked back down at the money in his hands, continuing to count it out.

"Shit, you should have woken me up." I came and stood beside him, shoulder to shoulder as I held the sheets around my naked body.

"Well I thought you'd appreciate a good nights sleep without Randy breathing down your neck and sticking his morning wood in your back." He laughed to himself and I just shook my head, but smiled at his consideration.

"Thank you." I planted a kiss on his shoulder and watched his lips curl into a smile which was quickly hidden.

We were both quiet while he finished counting out the money, and I watched on in curiosity. It must've been the money that those two men, Ron and Wade, had brought over the previous night, the money from my meth. That could only mean one thing. Pay day. I smiled inwardly at the thought of finally being able to buy some new clothes. I was never a huge fan of clothes shopping, but after wearing that same shitty outfit for over a month, I was ecstatic at the thought.

"For you." He slid the largest pile of money over to me. "For me." He pocketed the smallest.

"Why do I get the most?" I wasn't complaining at all, just curious. "We agreed forty percent, right?"

"We did. You've got your forty percent, plus a little extra to get that car resprayed." He nodded his head in the direction of where the car I'd claimed sat outside. "Last thing I need is for my cook to get locked up for grand theft auto."

"You don't have to do that, this is your money." I picked up the money and flicked through it all, trying to remember a time that I held this much money before. There must've been over eight grand here.

"You need it more than I do. Just take it." He reached over and closed my hand tight around the money and looked at me with an almost pleading expression on his face. I nodded.

"Thank you." I smiled gratefully at him and he simply nodded his head once and let go of my hand. I was about to pull him into a hug, but whether he meant to or not, he dodged it with a step back. He walked away then, and sat on the sofa with a pensive look. Owch.

I frowned to myself when he silently grabbed the remote and switched the TV on, turning over to a rerun of Impotent Rage. I was expecting him to be a lot less... Impersonal, considering what we'd done last night. Then I remembered, last night really was just a casual fuck, and Trevor had never given me any real reason to think it was something more. It was my own feelings getting the better of me, that's why it hurt when he pretty much ignored me in favour of watching something on TV I'd seen enough times to almost have the script down. It was the reason I felt something close to what it must feel like to be a prostitute. To sleep with someone, only to receive money and emotionless glances after the deed is done. The corners of my mouth turned down and I went back into the bedroom, tossing the sheet onto the bed messily and getting dressed into my combat pants and checkered shirt, trying to pull myself together.

Why did this bother me so much? I knew it shouldn't. I'd had sex with people before where emotions weren't supposed to be involved, and I've never woke up the next day craving the feel of their arms around my waist again. I've never felt on the verge of tears as I got ready to leave in the morning, I've never felt that bubble of shame rising up from my gut. It's not that I regretted what I'd done, not at all, I didn't know what it was that was bothering me. Maybe it was because of the conversion we'd had last night, pressed up against each other, reliving unpleasant memories together and taking solace in each other. The way he'd opened up to me and shown me this other side of him, a side that was capable of feeling more human emotions than his usual defaults of horny and angry.

"I should go." I told him as I entered the room, avoiding his eyes in favour of looking at my shoes as I grabbed them from by the door. I'd stuffed the money into the back pocket of my pants, and was focusing on everything I wanted to spend it on to distract myself. I tugged my shoes on, tucking the laces in instead of tying them to save time.

"Alright." He got up from the sofa and walked over to me with his hands in his pockets. I looked at his bare feet instead of his face as I finished putting my shoes on. When I finally dared to look at him, he looked disappointed. That caught me off guard.

"What?" I asked him after a moment of silence where he just looked left and right between my eyes with this _look_. He looked sorry for himself, and his brown eyes had this puppy dog quality that made my heart squeeze.

"I knew you'd just go." He said quietly, and when I frowned, he continued, "Everyone just goes. Nobody ever stays." His eyes dipped down to my chest, but it wasn't his usual ogle, it was more like his gaze had dropped because he didn't want to look at my face anymore.

"Do you not want me to go?" I asked. Maybe I was wrong about him. He shrugged and his eyes dropped lower, to my stomach. "Trevor, what's wrong with you? Five minutes ago you didn't seem to care."

"I don't care, you can do what you want." He snapped, and his eyes went back to mine. I furrowed my brow.

"Then what are you saying?" This man was confusing, I wondered what it was like up in that head of his. I wondered if he confused himself as much as he confused me.

"I. Don't. Know." He said slowly, angrily. "I feel... Messed up. I thought we'd fuck and that would be it. Just a fuck." He rubbed his face and dug the heels of his hands into his eyes as he backed away from me. His hands were shaking and then the penny dropped. I saw the pipe and the lighter on the sofa, he was high.

"Trevor, you smoked up, didn't you?" I asked him, reaching out to touch his elbow, noticing the way he flinched.

"I needed to think, it helps me think." He dragged his hands away from his face and looked at me. I nodded.

"What did you need to think about? Talk to me." I spoke in an even voice, soft and soothing.

"About you. Last night... I don't know, I started to feel different, like I didn't want you to go and that's- for me, that's dangerous." He told me, shaking his head and scratching his arms, crossing them over his body defensively.

"Dangerous?"

"It never ends well. And you're going to go anyway, with Randy. I can't have it happen again, I don't want to feel that way about someone who is going to leave me." He backed away from me some more, and I dropped my hand away from him.

"I don't want to leave you, I want to stay here in Sandy Shores." I told him, hating how vulnerable he looked. He looked like a man who'd been left alone his whole life, and I bet Michael's pretend death didn't help.

"But you won't, not while Randy is still breathing." He glared angrily and I bit my lip.

"I will talk to him."

"If he takes you away from me..." He trailed off, looking scared of his own words. I was scared too. 

"Calm down, Trevor." I near-whispered.

"God, I thought it would be a good fuck. I thought that would be it. I didn't want _this_." He turned away from me and hit himself in the forehead over and over. I went over to him and put my hands on his shoulders, he froze. I pressed myself against his back, resting my head on his shoulder blade, then rubbed the tops of his arms.

"I am my own person. If I don't want to go, I won't. Not if I can help it." I told him, closing my eyes and feeling most of the tension in his back release. He dropped his arms at his sides and breathed deeply. I let him go and walked around to his front and pulled him into a hug, he immediately wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me tighter than he ever had before. I pulled back slightly to kiss his lips.

He groaned into the kiss when I slipped my tongue into his dry mouth, his hands roaming my body. I wasn't surprised when he pressed his groin against me, or when he slipped his hands under my shirt and my bra, squeezing my breasts. I could feel him hardening against my thigh. Meth always had a way of sending my libido into over drive, so I knew what he was feeling right now. Its hard to control yourself when everything even slightly provocative was enough to turn you on. 

I pushed my hand past the waistband of his sweatpants to find that he wasn't wearing any underwear, and quickly wrapped my fingers around him. He groaned appreciatively and broke the kiss, leaning his head back for a moment when I started to stroke him. I pushed him back until he hit the kitchen counter, he leaned against it and looked down to see the outline of my hand moving back and forth beneath the grey fabric of his sweatpants. He grunted and bucked into my fist, and I felt precum leak from the head of his cock. I grabbed his chin with my free hand and made him look at me with those glassy, pleasure-consumed eyes of his. 

I leaned in and kissed him again, he was constantly rocking his hips back and forth to match my strokes, and he still had his hands clamped tightly over my breasts. I moaned when he squeezed my nipples. I gripped his cock tighter and jerked him fast, he groaned loudly and he broke the kiss, dropping his head onto my shoulder.

"I'm gonna come." He murmured against me, his breathing ragged and his voice wobbling. I'd never heard such a simple phrase sound so erotic. I didn't care that he wasn't going to last long. I didn't even care that he wasn't returning the favour. I didn't want him to, I was having more than enough fun making him groan and fuck into my hand like it was the last time he'd ever be touched. By doing this to him now, I kind of felt like I was showing him just how much I wanted to stay here. How much I genuinely liked him and wanted him to feel good.

I squeezed the tip of his cock at the end of each stroke, and he was slick from base to tip with precum and was twitching and throbbing like crazy in my hand. Fuck, I wanted to give him the best orgasm he'd ever had, I wanted for him to see stars and never want to touch another woman ever again. I wanted him to fucking _need_ me to be satisfied. Shit, I just wanted him.

"Come for me, please." I whispered to him and he moaned a long, broken moan.

"Shit. Fuck. I love you!" He rocked his hips more forcefully just moments before he shook from head to toe and he was coming, biting onto my shoulder and soaking through the fabric of his sweatpants. As he came, his groans came loud and constant, and I committed that shit to memory. I never wanted to forget the beautiful sounds he makes.

After a moment he leaned back, out of breath, cheeks flushed, hands lax against my chest. He pulled hands out from under my shirt and let them rest on my hips. I looked down and saw the sizeable wet patch on the front of his pants. I pulled my hand out of his pants and ran my fingers over the milky substance, bringing them to my mouth and looking him in the eye as I licked away his come from my fingers. I kissed him again, and I bet he could taste himself on my tongue.

-

"I don't care how the clothes in here look, I'm buying them anyway. Anything will be better than this." I said, tugging on the front of my shirt as I entered the discount clothing store in Paleto Bay.

"I don't know, you might change your mind when you actually see the women's section." Randy snorted, following me closely into the store.

"Oh, do you spend a lot of time in the women's section?" I smirked at him and he rolled his eyes.

I'd driven over to the lab shortly after my antics with Trevor earlier that day, and insisted that Randy and I drive over to Paleto Bay to get some shopping done. I couldn't speak for him, but I sure as hell was over the whole _grunge_ look, and just wanted some fresh fucking clothes. I'd driven us over there in my new ride, and explained that Trevor had it from a job he'd done, and was going to destroy it but I asked if I could take it off his hands instead. So not a total lie, Randy just didn't need to know that I'd been involved in said job. We'd stopped on the way at a scrapyard, and I'd managed to pry a licence plate off of some old wreck to replace the one on my car, which was probably registered as stolen. It was now sat in the auto shop getting a wine red respray, so there would be little to no chance of it being identified. The guy at the garage said it would be ready in a day or two and he'd call me when I could pick it up.

"This isn't bad, you know." I told Randy as I began to flick through the clothes. I picked out a pair of high waisted pale denim shorts in my size. The rhinestones glued along the top edge of the pockets looked a little tacky, but they'd be easy to pull off. "They have all your basic crap."

"I guess, I would stay away from those dresses though." He nodded towards a display which showed five dresses. A pink one, a green floral one, a white one with pink flowers on, a black one with pink zebra print and a plain white one. I picked up a pair of skinny jeans and a white blouse with baby blue pinstripes, then sauntered over to the dresses.

"I don't know, the white one's okay." I shrugged and found my size. I held it against my body to see how long it was, and it came just above the knee so it wasn't too short. "I'm going to try a bunch of stuff on, I'll need your opinion." I nudged him as I walked by to get to the changing room.

Of course, Randy was about as helpful as a man could get, shrugging indifferently at everything I wore, saying stuff like "yeah it looks good" or "if you like it then get it". He only showed any enthusiasm for a couple of items, he liked the blouse paired with the shorts, and told me that I looked really cute in them. He liked the rhinestone's, funnily enough, but I still planned on pulling them off later. Randy didn't bother to try his haul on, and just grabbed a couple of pairs of jeans and a bunch of t-shirts in his size.

I ended up leaving there with a hefty couple of bags. I'd managed to find a few cool T-shirts in my size, along with a couple of skirts and jackets and a pair of cute sandals, on top of the stuff I'd already picked out. I didn't spend much money either, which surprised me since I never bothered looking at the price tags for most of the stuff I picked up.

Randy and I spent the rest of the day just looking around and seeing what Paleto Bay had to offer. We only split up for half an hour or so, when he wanted to look around this sports gear shop, and I told him I'd meet him in a while since I was totally uninterested in what that shop had to sell, and wandered off back to a lingerie shop we passed a while ago. I ended up spending more in there than I did in the previous shop, but then again it was all expensive underwear and I was a sucker for a nice matching bra and panties set. I left with a bunch of stuff, mostly tame, cute floral pieces with just a bit of lace on the edges, but I couldn't resist delving into a few sexier items. Push up bra's and bra's made from delicate lace which could be seen through like glass, g-strings with so little fabric in them they were barely worth wearing. All the while I was picking things out with one person in mind. There's nothing wrong with wanting to look sexy for someone, and I wanted brown eyes glued to me and rough hands just as clingy, I couldn't help that.

When I met with Randy again, he was sat at a table outside a coffee shop having bought himself a coffee, and a hot cocoa for me with whipped cream and marshmallows. He knew what I liked, that was for sure.

"So did you buy some of those Lycra shorts you were looking at in that sports shop?" I asked him with a smirk as I sat down opposite him, dropping my bags on the floor by my feet.

"Shut up, I was looking at the sneakers." He retorted, taking my teasing personally.

"Sure Rands, looking at the sneakers right next to those fetching yellow short-shorts you kept eyeing up." I winked at him and took a sip of my drink, burning my tongue in the process.

"Piss off." He spat, but I could tell he was resisting the urge to laugh. "What did you run off to buy?"

"Stuff." I told him with a smile. He didn't need to know about my underwear.

"Stuff? What stuff?" He raised a brow.

"Just stuff." I laughed and he rolled his eyes and dropped it.

There was a few moments of comfortable silence. I smiled, today had been nice. It'd been a while since Randy and I had gone out together for something as simple as a coffee, or some shopping. For the first time in a few weeks I felt like a relatively normal person. Days like this reminded me that there's a normal world out there, one where I'd be going home to a nice apartment to watch TV and maybe enjoy a glass of wine. Not my reality, where I'm going home to a liquor store to cook meth for a guy I'd started to have relations with. It was refreshing.

"So, what did you and Trevor discuss for like twelve hours yesterday?" Randy piped up, and I suppressed a sigh. I knew I wasn't off the hook.

"Listen, I'm sorry for not calling you sooner. I didn't mean to worry you." I told him and he shook his head.

"I'm not looking for an apology, Emily. It's just a question." He said, then took a sip of coffee.

"Well, we spoke about the car, the one he gave me. The business, you know, like how the sales were going..." I started, looking down at the table and holding my cocoa to my lips to try and cover my face somewhat. I was bad at making shit up.

"Yeah?" He smirked, he could see straight through my bullshit. I kept going.

"Oh, I met the uh, salesmen. These two guys, Ron and Wade. I liked Wade, very polite, friendly." I nodded.

"So you weren't alone with Trevor?" He raised his brows, looking surprised.

"No, well, yes. Ron and Wade left after a while." I kept drinking my cocoa, ignoring the fact that it was still too hot.

"Right, so you all just spoke business? That's it?" He asked and I shrugged.

"At first, I mean we had a couple of beers together and just you know, talked about stuff. Like our pasts." I looked down into my cup, breathing in the whisps of steam that were rising from it.

"I'm not stupid. You ain't gotta lie to me." He sighed and looked down at his hands where he was picking at his thumb nail.

"I'm not." I blinked at him, pleading innocence.

"Your neck. You didn't give those hickeys to yourself, did you?" He deadpanned, and I instinctively reached for my neck to cover them. "What, does he think he's still in highschool or something?" He snorted.

"Randy, I am twenty seven years old, you don't need to baby me. Besides, I don't need _another_ father figure, do I?" I narrowed my eyes at him, referencing the family secret I'd told only him about. He looked away from me, at a passing car.

"I'm not babying you I just... Don't like the thought of him being all over you. He's no good for you." He turned his nose up and I cringed. I didn't want him picturing that, anyway.

"Well who is good for me? Who should I be looking for? You tell me, Randy, cause I clearly can't decide for myself." My tone was biting, and I leaned forward over the table, prompting him to look at me.

"I don't know, maybe-" he stared at me with wide eyes, looking slightly terrified, "maybe someone like... Me? I don't know." He looked down at the table and bit his lip.

"You?" I frowned, my conversion with Trevor about Randy flooding back to me. No way.

"Yeah! Or, someone like me, you know?" He shook his head and leaned away from me, looking awkward.

"What're you saying, Randy?" I narrowed my eyes at him, and he looked back like a rabbit caught in headlights.

"I'm saying that, maybe, theoretically, I'd prefer you to be with me than Trevor. At least you know I'm not going to kill you." He said, sounding more confident than he looked.

"Trevor isn't going to kill me. And anyway, is that what you think it takes to get with me? Not wanting to kill me? Are my standards really that low? _Oh, hello sir, I'll sleep with you if you won't kill me._ " I spoke in a rush, getting a few funny looks from passers by at that last part.

"No, that's not it. Of course that's not fucking it." He glared at me, his tone was angry and I leaned away from him.

"Then what is it?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest. He shook his head and gave a humourless laugh.

"The thing is, Em, I _like_ you. Do you not see that? More than... Just a friend. Knowing what you get up to with that man fucking kills me, because I-I want you to myself. I know that sounds selfish but all I've done for years is watch you fall in love with other men, wondering why it's never me." He told me, loud enough to turn heads. All I could do was stare at him, blank expression, trying to work out if I'd heard him correctly.

"Randy..." I whispered, not knowing what to say.

"I've wanted to tell you that for fucking years, Emily. But every time I work up the courage to do it, I'm too late, and some other prick has taken you from me again." He shook his head and narrowed his eyes.

"But I-" My mouth hung open just slightly, I started talking without really knowing what I was saying, but it didn't matter because I was soon interrupted.

"I'm not about to let a scumbag like Trevor Philips do it again." He nodded boldy, then before I could stop him, he stood up and leaned over the table, grabbing my chin with one hand, and pressed his lips against mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh and if you're wondering about the chapter title, its a Phil Collins song that is about liking someone who you can not have... Thought it'd be appropriate considering Randy's dealio.  
> Feedback is always much appreciated! <3


	17. Heart Stealers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning!  
> Contains conflict, fluff and impending doom.

The atmosphere at the lab was... Different. I'd always been able to sense when something was up, it was why I always trusted my gut when I felt that something bad was going to happen. Not that I thought something bad was going to happen when I let myself into the lab, more like something bad had already happened. Emily was finishing up a batch in one room, and Randy was sitting silently in another. Usually they'd be talking, but they both just looked like they were avoiding one another. They didn't even acknowledge me when I walked in.

"Uh, good morning?" I said, glancing into each room. Emily gave me a weak smile, Randy did nothing but stare at the ground as he sat at the table. "Who's fucking funeral did I just walk in on?"

"Yours if you don't shut the fuck up." Randy said quietly, and I wasn't sure if he'd intended for me to hear him or not. I narrowed my eyes at him, but otherwise ignored him. This whole silent, awakward, tension shit was starting to bug me, so I strolled over to where Emily was tidying away after finishing her batch.

"What's going on, sugar?" I asked her with a grin, and walked up behind her, putting my hands on her hips and leaning in to kiss her cheek. She didn't respond to my touch, she just kept cleaning up as if I wasn't right there behind her.

"Not now, Trevor." She said quietly, and her voice sounded different. She sounded done in, exhausted, deflated. Not her usual self. I frowned and let go of her, stepping back. I walked back into the room where Randy was sat looking sorry for himself.

"Is someone gonna tell me what the fuck happened here?" I grumbled, I was starting to get pissed off, being ignored was not something I took kindly to. I needed some fucking answers.

"It's none of your business, asshole." Randy looked up at me, pure fucking hate in his eyes. Eyes that looked red and sore as if he'd been crying. What the fucking fuck?

"Enough with the hostility, alright? The fuck have I done to you?" I spat, about ready to hit the little shit if he didn't show me some fucking respect. He laughed a bitter laugh and shook his head.

"Trevor, this isn't a very good time." Emily entered the room then, and hovered by the doorway with her arms crossed over her chest. Her voice was small, she had an apologetic smile on her face, but those pale blue fucking eyes of hers weren't like they usually were. They were usually so fierce, strong, now they looked sad and tired. Considering I'd seen her just twenty-four hours ago, full of her fire, it almost hurt to see her look like that. I felt anger bubble up inside of me.

"What the fuck did you do to her?" I turned to Randy, my voice so sharp and bitter I wanted it to physically hurt him.

"Me?" Randy asked, blinking up at me like he was shocked to be spoken to.

"Yeah, you, ya little bastard. She spends one fucking day with you and she- she's just... Different." I swung my arm up to point at her, and he slowly looked at her. They shared a look, both mirroring the same, blank expression. It was a pitiful sight.

"She said this is a bad time, just fuck off." Randy told me, then went back to staring at the floor.

"I swear to fucking God, if you don't quit with your bullshit, I'll knock your block off." I told him. "Start showing some fucking respect."

"You've done precisely _nothing_ to earn my respect, Trevor." He stood up and took a step towards me, that same palpable hatred in his eyes. I raised a brow at him.

"I haven't? Oh, well what about putting a roof over your head, huh? Or giving you money for doing fuck all!" I yelled at him, stepping forwards so there was barely a foot between us.

"You didn't do that for me! You did that for her." He pointed at Emily, "Or rather, you did it for yourself 'cause it was neccissary to get her to cook for you."

"Of course I didn't do it for you, you're useless to me."

"That's right, but Emily's not. That's the only reason we're both still alive, isn't it? You're using her. I guess its just a bonus for you that she puts out." Those last words were all it took. He was on the ground and my fist was aching before I'd even realised I'd swung for him.

"Trevor!" I heard her voice over the rushing blood in my ears as white hot rage boiled under my skin. I stepped back and shook my hand around, I must've hit him pretty fucking hard for my knuckles to hurt like they did. I was staring at Randy with blood pouring from his nose, a blur of white hair next to him in my peripheral vision as Emily made a fuss over him.

"You so much as think a sentence like that again, I'll see your mutilated body buried in twenty different places, you hear me?" I told him, my voice holding that terrifying tone that I saved for people I _really_ hated.

"I'm fine!" Randy snapped at Emily, who was trying to see if his nose was broken, and pushed himself to his feet, strutting past me like some sroppy kid. "I'm going up to Paleto Bay to see if your car's ready." 

"He said he'd call us." She called after him, but he'd already made up his mind.

In the silence that followed, we heard a couple of doors slam downstairs. Emily remained cross-legged on the floor in front of me, face buried in her hands. My hand was still aching like a bitch, and I winced when I flexed my fingers. I thought for a second I'd done some real damage, but shrugged it off when I heard a feminine sigh.

"I didn't plan to hit him." I said quietly, then sat down in front of her. "It just happened."

Silence.

"What he said about you... He caught me in the wrong mood and I just..." I trailed off and she just shook her head. "Talk to me, I don't like this fucking silence." I said, a little louder.

"What do you want me to say?" She asked, her voice monotonous.

"You can start by telling me what the fuck happened between you two." I reached over and tugged on her wrists, pulling her hands away from her face so I could see her.

"You were right." She looked at me as she spoke, and she held onto my hands like she didn't want me to let go. I didn't want to let go either, not with how deflated she looked just then.

"About what?"

"Randy. He told me yesterday that he loves me." She simply said and shrugged. If she didn't look so down I might have gloated and said _I told you so_.

"That's what this is about?" I frowned, she nodded.

"He kissed me, too. I slapped him after that. Then we had this big argument... I shouldn't have hit him, I can't believe I did that. That's what fucked this up." She shook her head and closed her eyes.

"If you didn't want him to kiss you, he should've expected a slap." 

"I could've dealt with it so much better. He just caught me off guard, and I didn't let him down gently like I should have. I said some harsh things." 

"Like what?" I stroked her palm with my thumb and she opened her eyes to look at me.

"I told him I couldn't date such an overbearing, suffocating person, who thinks its well within his right to tell me who I can and cannot spent my time with. The way I said it- it sounded like I couldn't stand being around him, that's not true, Trevor! I love him to bits... Just not in the same way." She looked down at our hands.

"You were honest. If the little prick can't handle honestly, or can't respect your feelings, he doesn't deserve you." I told her, and I meant it.

"It means a lot that you're trying to make me feel better, but I'm in the wrong, here. I said some awful things and rubbed salt in his wounds." She bit her lip. "Imagine the worst response you could get from someone you just professed your love to." She looked anywhere other than my eyes as I thought.

"I don't know." I shrugged and she played with my hand, looking at each individual finger as she said the next thing.

"That they have feelings for somebody else, somebody that you hate, as well." She said quietly, running her fingers over my knuckles, which were still red and sore from Randy's brick wall of a head.

"That's what you told him?" My heart started to beat faster and that feeling in the pit of my stomach that was some sort of mix between hope and dread began to appear. She nodded. I wanted to ask her who it was she had feelings for, but that was a stupid question, I knew it. Who was sat with her right now, letting her trace the letters of the tattoos on his knuckles? Who did she fall asleep next to the other night after making love? Perhaps more obvious, who's guts does Randy hate?

"Do you really..." My voice was just a whisper, like I was hoping she wouldn't hear me so I wouldn't have to listen to her answer. I'd been filled with false hope in the past only to be left alone again. Patricia had told me I'd always be in her heart, but where was she now? I didn't want that to happen again with this girl. Not now that I was certain that the feeling I get whenever she touches me, or even looks at me, is nothing short of adoration.

"Do I have feelings for you?" She asked herself, pausing to take a breath. She bit her lip and I wanted to kiss her. If I kissed her she wouldn't be able to answer. "Yeah." 

I closed my eyes. I didn't know whether to be relieved or terrified. Now that it had been said, there was no going back. Now that this girl was giving me the affection I'd missed all of my life, I'd be clinging to it. That's how this worked. That's what'd destroy me if she left. At least that's what a little part of my brain was yelling at me, it was reminding me that this was doomed from the start, just like any other half-serious relationship I'd ever started. But the bigger, louder part of my brain was yelling at me too, and its words were a lot nicer to hear. It was telling me to shut up my bitch ass worrying and live in the now. Kiss her, touch her, make her mine.

"Trevor." She whispered my name and I opened my eyes, she looked nervous. "Did you hear me?" 

I didn't say anything, I just leaned forwards and kissed her. I told that small part of my brain to shut up, I'd deal with the destruction this relationship would leave in its wake when I'm left alone again. For now, I was going to enjoy it while I had her in front of me. She kissed me back immediately, her hands letting go of mine so she could wrap her arms around my neck. I pulled her towards me by her waist and she climbed onto my lap. She bit my bottom lip then pressed her tongue into my mouth. I'll never kiss anyone who tastes this sweet ever again, I thought, and groaned into her mouth. She broke the kiss and hugged me close to her, pressing my face into her chest as she started to rut against me, canting her hips so our groins met, her desperate little huffs immediately bringing my cock to life in my pants.

"God, yes." I whispered, running my hands up and down her spine. "You're stealing my fucking heart." I told her and she moaned.

"You've been stealing mine this whole time, now we're even." She leaned back to grin at me. Her face dropped when her mobile began to ring in her pocket. She stopped her movements, so I bucked my hips to try and get that friction back, but it wasn't the same. She grabbed her phone out of her pocket and immediately answered it, getting off of my lap and standing up. I watched her with a sulky frown on my face.

"Hi, Randy." I suppressed a growl at her words. He's always fucking cockblocking me.

"...I'm sorry too, I know... I don't want this to ruin our relationship, you're too important to me... We'll work it out." She paced back and forth in front of me.

"You know, you're still my best friend, my brother. I love you, Rands." She smiled, and it made me smile too. She was so beautiful when she smiled, and I never realised how lovely that smile was until she was no longer showing it off.

"Alright... I'll see you later, thank you." Then she hung up and turned to me. "I'm sorry, I couldn't ignore that." 

I nodded. "Everything okay?"

"He wanted to apologise for what he said about me... You know, the putting out thing." She shrugged. "It didn't bother me anyway."

"That was decent of him." I still hated the bastard, but Emily looked happy and that's what was important.

"He's staying in Paleto Bay for a few hours, cause the car will be ready later, so..." She smiled at me and sat back down on my lap, I chuckled. 

"Are you always going to be this eager get frisky?" I raised a brow at her and she nodded, humming in approval before kissing me again.

We were a tangle of limbs on the floor, touching and squeezing each other in all the right places, undressing one another with desperate pulls and pushes. Anyone would have thought we needed each other to survive, with how we clung to one another, parting only for brief moments when oxygen was needed. There weren't any condoms at the lab, but it didn't stop us. Nothing could have stopped us then, not once I was inside her, skin to skin. It was incredible, even on the dirty floor of the meth lab. It was strange, it just felt right, being with her like this. Nobody had ever compared to what she felt like in that moment, I never wanted it to end, but of course it did. I made sure to pull out at the right moment, spilling my load onto the already filthy floor. I came first, I couldn't stop myself, but I made sure to finish her off with my fingers and my tongue. I wanted to make her feel so good, I followed her every command as I worked on her, and when she climaxed I'd never forget the look on her flushed face. 

\- 

We'd been sitting there for hours, half dressed, all clammy skin and sleepiness in the stuffy room. I was sat down on the mattress in the corner wearing just my jeans. I had my back against the wall, and was running my fingers through her hair as she rest her head on my lap. She was wearing just her underwear, new underwear, pale blue with yellow flowers and white lace around the edges. Adorable. Neither of us had said anything in a while, and I was honestly ready pass out like this, but she eventually broke the silence.

"I'm never going to leave here." She said quietly, her voice gentle yet with a hint of strength, her words were definite.

"You can't say that. What happens when you make enough money and Randy wants to move on?" I reminded her. I didn't want to hear her say that, not if it wasn't going to be true a year or two down the line. She sighed angrily.

"Stop bringing him up like he's a part of me. I am me, not Emily and Randy, we do have the capability to live separate lives." She snapped and I closed my eyes.

"I know, of course I know that, I'm just saying... When the time comes, Randy is going to wanna leave, right? Are you really just going to let him move to another city, or another state even? You've been together for most of your life. It's hard to lose someone like that." I told her, my thoughts turning to Michael. Even after he betrayed me, and as much as we fight all the time and I'm pretty sure I hate him a bit, I could never cut him out of my life. We're partners, running buddies till the grave. Our own graves this time. I don't know why I was trying to convince Emily that she'd want to leave, maybe I was just hardwired to talk myself out of a good thing, why put off the inevitable?

"It would be hard, I know that. But I gotta think of the future, I'm not going to be cooking meth and robbing shit when I'm seventy, if I even live that long. I want to spend my life with something solid. Randy and I, what we've been doing, it isn't solid. Nothing in the life is ever stable and reliable, right?" She said, then rolled over onto her back so she could look at me.

"Right." I nodded. "You never know when your whole situation is going to change."

"Exactly. I thought I'd be with Archie and the others forever, didn't happen. I thought I'd be with Randy in Murrieta Heights forever, didn't happen. Randy isn't going to stay here with me, I know that, so that's not forever. I want something that will be forever, a reason to stay in one place, give my life some consistency." She was speaking louder now, and I could tell she'd been thinking about this for a while and this was the first time she'd been able to voice it.

"What is it, exactly, that you want?" I asked her, watching her blue-grey eyes dart around the room, like she was looking for her answer in the cracked walls.

"Someone who I know will stick with me forever, even when I'm seventy and I can't cook meth anymore. Someone who I can, you know, settle down with, have a somewhat normal life with." She shrugged and looked back up at me.

"If normality is your thing, maybe I'm not the person you're looking for, sweetheart." I leaned my head back against the wall and looked at the ceiling.

"Not normality from a normal persons perspective, I'll never be _that_ normal, you know, picket fences and a nine to five job at some generic company. No, I mean normality how I want it. Just to have someone I can be there for, who will be there for me. We wouldn't need anyone else, we'd be our own anchor, keeping each other grounded. Something that would last forever, wouldn't fizzle out. It would be our normality." 

"I'm not sure if you'll want that forever." I told her, chewing on the inside of my cheek.

"Why wouldn't I? I've wanted it my whole life." She asked, then sat up and turned to face me.

"You might want it, you just won't want it from me. My relationships never seem to work out, soon enough you'll want shut of me." I shrugged and looked away from her but I didn't miss the scowl that appeared on her face.

"Enough of the self loathing, please. I don't give a shit about your past relationships, Trevor. All I give a shit about, is what we have. And I know it's early days but the thing is, you've flipped a switch in me. I don't know what it is about you, but you just... Make me want to stay. I don't want to just drop what we're becoming, I wanna run with this. I wanna see where we end up." She shuffled over to me on her knees and put her hands on my shoulders.

"People say stuff like that all the time, how do I know you won't just go back on everything you just said one day?" I asked, noticing the slight wince she gave at my words.

"Have a little faith in me, please." She frowned a little, and I could tell that I must've hit a nerve with my accusations. "I ain't going anywhere, I certainly don't break promises."

"So you promise me?" I asked her, I was feeling vulnerable. I never liked feeling vulnerable, let alone coming across as it.

"What, that I won't just up and leave you and I want to make this my normality?" She asked, and I nodded. "I promise." 

"I trust you." I moved a hand to her hip. "And I promise to be anything you want me to be." I told her. 

I was never going to feel secure about anything in my life, but she promised me and I believed her. I wasn't going to break my promise to her, I didn't take promises lightly. I felt myself just letting it happen, letting her take my heart and I was fully at her mercy. She held the cards now, she was the ringmaster who would control whether this would end in tears or not. She kissed me then. Just a single, gentle kiss, but it was enough to put my mind at ease. She pulled me in for a hug and I wrapped my arms tight around her waist, I didn't want to let go. I wanted to pull her into my being so I'd never be without her, and she'd never be without me.

Her phone started to ring again, and she pulled back, I begrudgingly let her go. She crawled over to where her jeans were in the middle of the floor, and pulled her phone out of the pocket.

"It's Rands again, he's probably ringing to tell me he's got my car." She told me and I nodded, she answered and put it to her ear. "Hey Randy, what's up?"

The smile she had on her face faded at once, and I frowned. "Yeah that's me, I'm his best friend." 

I could tell something was very wrong, she stood up and began to chew on her nails. "What do you mean; an accident? What's happening?" 

"Emily?" I said quietly and she looked at me, her eyes wide and frightened. I got up and stepped towards her.

"Yeah, of course. I'll come right now. Thank you for calling me." She hung up and her hands were shaking, she immediately went for her clothes and began to get dressed.

"What's going on, sweetheart? Talk to me." I asked her. I hadn't seen her this shook up since the day I had to take her and Randy to the hospital, weeks, months ago.

"Can you drive me to the hospital in Paleto Bay? There's- Randy was in an accident." She told me, slipping her t-shirt on after buttoning up her jeans. I grabbed my own shirt off the floor and put it on.

"Yeah I'll take you there, what sort of accident?" I asked her, slipping my boots on and pulling my car keys out of my pocket. I know I hated the guy, but I couldn't help but worry, for Emily's sake.

"He's been hit by a car... Driver was out of control, way too fast and he- he went under the wheels. They called me from his cell, cause I was the last person he rang." She said, her face blank like she was just relaying information. 

"Shit... Come on." I grabbed her hand once we were both dressed and led her outside. We got into my truck and I headed for Paleto Bay as fast as I could without driving like a lunatic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a horrible person.


	18. 3,822

We arrived at the hospital just in time to see Randy being wheeled into the operating theatre. It was the most terrifying thing I'd ever seen, the place was so frantic that it was over ten minutes before I got a straight answer as to what was going on. I was more angry than anything, nobody would talk to me. Trevor was just as angry as I was, only he chose to express his anger more vocally than I did.

"Just fucking tell her what's wrong with him, you four eyed prick!" He had his fist balled up in some trainee nurse's shirt, a short, fat guy who wore his glasses on a chain.

"Sir, if you don't calm down I'll need to alert security." He told Trevor firmly, looking surprisingly unphased by the outburst.

"I just want someone to talk to her, she's- she's scared!" Trevor's finger was flung in my direction, where I was stood against the wall looking around the place for someone who seemed to know what was happening. I'd been nervously scratching at my arm for so long that the skin was angry and raw, I didn't feel the pain though, strangely.

"If you take a seat Sir, Ma'am, I'll send someone over to you right away." The man bravely pried Trevor's hand off of his shirt and gestured to the row of chairs behind him.

"You fucking better, alright?" Trevor growled, but was seemingly satisfied with his answer. He turned to me and touched my elbow, I met his eyes, and they were filled with pity. He pulled me over to the chair and pushed me down, like I couldn't control my own body so he had to move it for me. That was almost the case, to be honest. I couldn't help but feel like I was in a dream, none of it felt real. I kept saying to myself _it's okay, I'll wake up in a second_. But I wasn't waking up, and deep down I knew it was all real. I felt sick.

"We're going to find out what's happening, sweetheart. Dont worry." He sat down in the chair next to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. I leaned into him, appreciating his heat when I felt cold.

"This is real, isn't it? I thought I was dreaming but... I'm not." I said quietly, staring at a crack in the tiled floor. Trevor didn't answer my question, he just kissed my temple and rubbed my shoulder.

"He's going to be okay. If he's survived being around me for this long, he'll survive this." He gave a short laugh, his attempt at lightening the mood only working very slightly. I almost smiled, but then I saw a doctor approach us. My heart lurched.

"You're the friends of Randall Coxston, is that correct?" She asked us. She was an older lady, with crows feet and frown lines lightly creasing her face. She wore an expression that reminded me of one a mother would give to her upset child. I nodded.

"Randall was involved in an accident, he was hit by a car, but he was brought in as quickly as possible. When he arrived we found signs of internal bleeding, most serious in his lungs, surrounding his heart." She told me. It was all I could do to stop myself from vomiting all over her shoes.

"Is he gonna be okay?" I choked out and she looked down for a moment, then back up to my eyes.

"The bleed in his lungs is very serious, and there is a lot of pressure on his heart. He's been taken into theatre for surgery. They're going to carry out a procedure called a Thoracotomy, this involves making an incision along the breastbone so the surgeon can locate and hopefully stop the bleed." She explained, drawing a line down her the centre of her chest with her finger to indicate where they were operating.

"But he's gonna be okay, yeah?" I repeated my question, louder this time.

"I can't make any promises, as I said, the bleed is very serious. We always do our very best for our patients, and we have fantastic surgeons here who are very experienced." She told me, her tone all professional. I nodded and looked down.

"Thanks." I said, not sounding as genuine as I really wanted to.

"Do you have any questions?" She asked and I shook my head. "Okay, well I will come and tell you about any information I get. There is a coffee shop on the floor above if you need anything to eat or drink." She reached over and patted my shoulder once gently before walking away.

"We're doing our best. You know that's doctor talk for he might die?" I turned to Trevor once the woman was out if earshot.

"No, its doctor talk for they're doing their best. They'll patch him up. You should see the amount of shit that's on my medical record, they've dragged me back from the brink of hell loads of times." He told me, I'd never heard him speak so gently and calmly. It was like I was speaking to someone totally different, the gruffness of his voice was almost entirely absent. I nodded, trying to believe him.

"You're shaking. You need sugar, I'll go and buy you a cookie or something." He told me, looking at my hands, which were indeed shaking. He started to get up but I grabbed his hand.

"I don't want you to leave me alone." I told him, and he gave me a small smile.

"Then come with me." He tugged my hand, his thumb stroking my skin.

"But what if they need to tell me something, they won't know where I am. I'm fine, the shakes won't kill me." I shook my head and he begrudgingly sat back down.

"I'm just worried about you. You look too pale." He frowned at me and I shrugged.

"I feel a little sick, but I'm fine. I'm not the one being operated on." I told him, my mouth was watering in that horrible way it always does right before throwing up, but I could ignore it. He kissed the side of my head and wrapped his arm around me again, pulling me against his chest. I felt like I didn't deserve to be comforted, it felt like such a selfish thing to allow right now, with my best friend down the hall fighting for his life. He was the one suffering. But I let it happen, because I could concentrate on the rhythmic beating of Trevor's heart, I could hear it in his chest and I closed my eyes, counting the quiet thuds. It worked wonders to calm my own frantic heartbeat.

-

I wasn't sure how long we'd been sitting there in silence for, but I did know I'd counted a total of three thousand eight hundred and twenty two beats of Trevor's heart, give or take, I'd lost count a few times and had to estimate. The same lady from earlier approached us, wearing an expression I didn't want to see. I'd seen it in hospital drama's on TV, that sad, pitiful kind of look that still held some level of professionalism. It always made its appearance for bad news.

"Is the operation over, is he better?" I asked as soon as she stopped in front of us. She looked between Trevor and I, and there were few agonising seconds of silence. But I'd take that silence over what she said next any day.

"There were... Some issues. There was a lot of difficulty in finding exactly where the bleed was coming from and once the surgeon did find it, there was even more difficulty in stopping it." She explained, her hands clasped together tightly in front of her chest, it almost looked like she was praying.

"So..." I whispered, I didn't need her to tell me what had happened, I already knew but I didn't want to believe it. Not my best fucking friend.

"Randall lost a lot of blood, too much to make it possible for us to find a suitable blood match for him in time. We did everything in our power, but it wasn't enough to save him. I'm very sorry." My stomach churned at her words. I never wanted, nor expected, to hear something like that but here I was. I was suddenly overcome with this strange mix of anger and pure devastation.

"Fuck that..." I mumbled, feeling something close to being drunk. "He was hit by a car, not a fucking train. People survive that all the time, Randy would survive it."

"I'm sorry, Miss, but it was a very serious accident. We did everything that we could." She told me, and I could see the horrible pity written all over her face.

"It's your job to save him, you haven't done your job!" I stood up, raising my voice, I felt Trevor's hand grip my wrist. "Where's the surgeon who was meant to save him? I bet the fucker just wanted to clock off, who cares if the patient dies, he wants his lunch break." I shrugged wildly, suddenly feeling light headed. My stomach lurched again, I was going to vomit and there was no stopping it.

"Please calm down, Miss, I know it's difficult losing a friend but you must-" She started, holding her hands up to me. She didn't get far before I interrupted her.

"Where are the restrooms?" I asked quickly, and she frowned in confusion for a moment, but pointed down the hallway.

"If you go down there you'll come to a sign that will tell you where to go. Are you alr-" she told me and I shot off immediately.

I tried walking down the hall but ended up having to run, a hand clamped over my mouth. When I finally made it to the bathroom, I dropped to my knees in the first empty stall I saw, proceeding to empty my stomach contents into the toilet. I hadn't eaten all day so it felt like I was throwing up pure stomach acid, and it burned. I coughed and retched, but there was nothing left in my stomach. The burn in my throat only succeeded to take my mind off of the news momentarily, but it soon took centre stage in my mind.

I sat down on the floor next to the toilet, leaning up against the wall and closing my eyes. I felt a lump in my throat, but I didn't cry. I wanted to cry, I wanted to have something to show for the excruciating ache I felt in every organ and every limb on my body, but my eyes only watered pathetically. I was stunned. When I saw him being wheeled into surgery, I never truly believed that'd be the last time I'd see him with a heartbeat. He looked pale, his skin almost purple. Scrapes and bruises on his face, blood on his clothes, but I still had some gut feeling that he'd be okay in the end. I tried to push the image out of my head but it kept coming back like a bad smell. I heard the toilet door open. I heard footsteps come towards me. I heard shuffling as the person sat down beside me.

"This is the women's restroom, Trevor." I said. I knew it was him, I could smell his earthy scent when he touched my face, even over the acrid smell of my own vomit still sitting in the toilet next to me.

"I don't give a fuck." He told me, his voice angry and hoarse like he'd just been shouting.

"They'll kick you out." 

"They won't do shit." He ran his thumb back and forth over my cheekbone.

"He's gone, Trevor." I said, my voice cracking midway through the sentence. I finally opened my eyes to look at him, my vision was blurry but my tears still didn't spill.

"Sweetheart..." He whispered, his eyes dropping to the floor for a moment, he looked clueless as to what to say. He needn't say anything though. "Let me take you home."

"The lab? I don't wanna go back there right now." I refused outright, and he shook his head.

"My home. I ain't gonna leave you alone in that place, don't worry." He stood up and grabbed my hand. I didn't move for a moment, but eventually made my body move and stood up, flushing the toilet before following him out of the stall. I paused to take a drink from the faucet, the water tasted stale but it was better than the taste of vomit.

"What about Randy... He- surely there's stuff to sort out." I suddenly thought, but he shook his head and put his arm around my waist, guiding me out of the restroom.

"Don't think about that right now, they have your number." He told me.

"Don't I get to see him? Say goodbye? What if it was all a mistake, though? A different Randy. I need to check, don't I?" I stopped dead in the hallway before he could take me anywhere else. He looked at me with this strange look.

"Doctors dont make mistakes like that, Em. And they called you from his phone, didn't they? Even if they let you see him...Would you really want to see him like that?" He asked and I thought. He had a point, a horrible, logical point. The image of him on the gurney still resided in my mind, I didn't need one of his corpse to join it. I shook my head and kept walking.

"Let's just get you out of here, get you back at my place. You don't need to sort anything out today. What you need is something to eat and something to drink." He said, and I had to agree. Especially that last part, and I hope he meant strong liquor.

\- 

We'd stopped off at Up-n-Atom Burger on the way home, after Trevor had insisted that I eat something. I didn't necessarily feel hungry but I still ate my cheeseburger and fries, both to appease Trevor and because I knew I probably should. Not a lot was said the whole time. I was hardly feeling talkative, and I don't think Trevor really knew what to say. I didn't mind the quiet, and on the way home I was even allowed to change the radio station over to Rock Radio. Music had always helped me through shit in the past and besides, Kenny Loggins' voice was always good for distracting me from my thoughts.

When we arrived back at Sandy Shores, Trevor briefly stopped at the lab to pick up a few of my things. He came out with my toothbrush and the bags of clothes I'd bought the previous day. When we finally made it to his trailer, I was relived to be somewhere familiar and warm. It was getting late by now, and the desert was always so cold at night, a stark contrast to the boiling conditions of the day. I went straight for the sofa and plonked myself down, aware of the fact that Trevor was watching me cautiously the whole time.

"What?" I asked him after a five second pause of him just staring at me.

"Nothing, you've just been quiet..." He said and moved to lean on the counter opposite me.

"Forgive me for being a little antisocial." I shrugged and looked past him at a patch of damp on the wall.

"I don't expect a friendly chat, Emily. I feel like you're just stuck in your head, thinking, I want you to talk to me. I want to help you." He said helplessly, his shoulders slumping.

"Honestly, Trevor, it hasn't sunk in." I simply said, and he nodded slowly.

"What can I do?" He asked.

"Get me a drink. Preferably vodka." I told him and brought my knees up to my chest.

"Vodka. That, I can do." He nodded and turned around, routing through the cupboards until he pulled out a bottle of the stuff. "You want it with coke or something? I got orange juice too, if you want."

"No thanks, I'll have it neat." I said, and he spun around to look at me, glass in one hand, bottle in the other.

"Are you sure? This stuff tastes like shit on its own. That's why I ain't drank much." He waved the bottle around, which was almost completely full.

"It's fine, I won't taste it once ive drank enough." I shrugged. He looked at me with this slightly concerned expression before he just shrugged and handed it over to me.

"Are you sure you don't want ice or something, at least?." He asked me as I began to fill up my glass with the stuff. I sighed.

"I'm fine, Trevor, just let me get drunk." 

"Alright, then." He said, and dropped it. He went to the fridge and got himself a beer then joined me on the sofa. He was right, the vodka really did taste like shit, I could tell it was dirt cheap. But it was like I said, I didn't care because I only wanted to get drunk. I hadn't drank vodka on its own since my teen years, I liked how it burned the back of my throat and left this tingling sensation in its wake.

It reminded me of when I just started getting close to Randy, and we'd spend the occasional evening sitting up in the attic of Archie's house sharing swigs from the same bottle of vodka. Cindy would always get pissed off because it was her booze that we stole, but she never knew where to find us cause we were the only ones who knew about our secret little hideout. I smiled at the memory. I missed those nights.

"What're you thinking?" Trevor asked me after a moment and I shook my head.

"Just remembering some stuff from when I was a stupid kid." I turned my smile to him. "What was the dumbest thing you ever did when you were young?" 

"You saying I'm old?" He raised his brows and pretended to be offended. I chuckled and shook my head.

"You know what I mean." I elbowed him in the side and he looked up at the ceiling, pursing his lips in thought.

"Hmm, when I was about fifteen, this kid bet me to try and jump from the roof of my trailer to the roof of his. They were pretty far apart, but I made it. I went through their fucking roof and broke my leg, though. My mother had to pay for the damage." He told me.

"I can picture you doing that." I laughed and he grinned at me. "How much was the bet?"

"Five dollars. But I'm much better at parkour now, I assure you." He joked. "What about you?"

"Hmm, I did a lot of dumb shit." I thought for a moment. "I set my hair on fire once."

"How the fuck did you manage that?" He gave me a funny look.

"Alcohol, hairspray and cigarettes don't always mix." I shook my head. "I still have a scar on my neck." I turned my head and lifted my hair to show a small patch of pink skin on the back of my neck.

"Jesus..." He tutted at me and I snorted.

"At least I didn't jump through a roof." I teased him and he rolled his eyes, chuckling to himself. My steady sipping of my vodka was starting to take effect, and I was feeling pleasantly buzzed. It wasn't enough though, when the conversation quietened and I was forced to remember what was happening right now, rather than ten tears ago. I took a large gulp of my drink before topping it up with more booze.

"How're you holding up?" Trevor asked after a lengthy period of silence.

"Fine." I told him quietly, then shuffled closer to him, appreciating the arm he wrapped around me. "It's just weird, more than anything. Like, I'm not going to see him every day anymore. I've spent the last decade of my life with him, waking up in the same room as him, eating with him, going almost everywhere with him. That's gonna stop now and that's just... Weird." I frowned as I explained, trying to wrap my head around the concept.

"You'll adjust, it gets easier. You'll never be over it though." He told me, like he was talking from experience.

"Is that what it was like for you, with Michael?" I asked and he nodded.

"I know you can't compare it, cause Michael is just as alive as we are, the fat snake. But for a decade, I believed he wasn't." He spoke quietly, gently and I nodded.

"That must've been horrible, I'm sorry." I reached up and grabbed the hand that he was resting over my shoulder.

"Fuck, I'm fine. Don't worry about me." He snorted and squeezed my fingers.

"How did you deal with it?" I asked him, and he took a deep breath before speaking.

"I didn't. It's as simple as that." He shrugged, and when I didn't speak, he added more. "I mostly just drank, got high, or slept... So I didn't have to think about it. I don't suggest you do the same, it just fucks you up more cause like I said- you don't _deal_ with it."

"I've never lost anyone like Randy." I commented. "Anyone who meant that much to me."

"You'll be fine, you're a strong girl." He tried to reassure me, but I just shrugged. I didn't feel all that strong, especially now that the alcohol was well and truly wreaking havoc on my system. I just kept drinking.

-

It was hours later, must've been about five in the morning judging by the pale light just starting to peek through the windows. I'd been in and out of sleep for fucking hours, and I was exhausted. My head was still spinning from the amount I'd ended up drinking earlier that evening, and my thoughts were too loud to let me doze off. I sighed. Trevor laid beside me on the bed, fast asleep. He'd stolen all the covers but I didn't care, I was sweating anyway. He was laying on his stomach with his face buried in the pillow, an arm draped heavily over my body. I gently slid his arm off of me, being careful not to wake him, and rolled out of bed. I stumbled my way as quietly as possible into the bathroom where I turned the sink faucet on and splashed the cool water over my face. I took a few gulps of it so my mouth wouldn't feel so dry, then made my way back into the bedroom.

"Em?" Trevor mumbled when I sat back down on the bed.

"Sorry, didn't want to wake you." I whispered, curling up on my side with my back to him, he immediately shuffled up behind me and kissed the shell of my ear, bringing his arm around my tummy.

"Why you still awake?" He asked groggily, pulling me tight against his chest.

"I can't fall asleep. I can't relax, I'm all fidgety." I sighed, and he kissed my earlobe. 

"You want me to relax you?" He whispered. My heart rate quickened, his hand slowly sliding down my tummy to the waistband of my panties, where he hesitated. "Hmm?" He prompted.

"Trevor..." I whispered, closing my eyes as his fingers dipped below the elastic. I wanted him to carry on. I felt like I needed something, some sort of affectionate attention, anything, really. To take my mind away from the horrible place it was in.

"Let me take care of you." He cooed, finally touching me. I didn't protest. He rubbed me slowly, planting kisses on my neck just below my ear. He brought his other arm underneath me, between the mattress and I, and squeezed my left breast. His touch did wonders to relax me, yet it riled me up just as quickly. I let out a soft moan as he rubbed faster.

"Mmmh, let me hear you moan." He growled, and I obliged him. Especially when he rolled backwards and pulled me on top of him, the shifted position allowing him to reach better between my now open legs, he slipped a finger inside of me. I groaned loudly when he began to thrust in and out if me, quickly adding a second finger.

"Fuck..." I whispered when he pushed my bra upwards and pinched my nipple.

"I wanna make you come. I love watching you come, baby." He told me, a growl of a laugh following his words. I could already feel myself getting close, he seemed to know exactly when to alternate between rubbing my clitoris, and pushing his fingers inside me.

"Quicker." I sighed when he began to rub me again, and he immediately complied, moving his slick fingers quickly against me. "Yeah, keep doing that... Oh God." I groaned. He ran his teeth over a sensitive spot on my neck and began to nibble there. I huffed and whimpered at the multitude of stimuli.

"You're so fucking... Fuck... You're gorgeous." He murmured against my skin, just a few seconds before I involuntarily brought my thighs together, effectively trapping his hand between my legs, my hips canting forwards against it. I bit my lip and let out a throaty groan as he brought me over the edge, sending me into a slow building yet incredibly intense climax. I was so fucking out of breath afterwards, that it almost sounded like I'd ran a marathon.

"That was so good..." I told him in a breathy whisper, and I heard him chuckle behind me. He slipped his hand out of my panties and rolled us back over onto our sides. He planted a number of kisses over my neck, jaw and cheek before he settled behind me with his arms around my waist.

"Try to get some sleep, sweetheart." I heard the smile in his voice. I nodded gently and closed my eyes, feeling significantly more relaxed than before, my thoughts had even calmed down enough for me to be able to focus on the rhythmic sound of Trevor's breathing. I dropped right off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh what have I done? This was planned from the start, y'all. It was so hard to actually make it happen though... Poor Rands :(
> 
> Also feedback is a beautiful thing and I love it<3


	19. Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, this fic is already way longer than I thought it'd be, so I think I'm gonna split it into a series(if I can work out how to haha). This'll be the first part, and there will be two more chapters after this one before it's complete. I'm thinking about writing another two parts to the series, and I have a very loose plan for each of them. I'm doing this because I still have a lot I want to write, but I don't want it to be just a fifty million chapter fic, cause if I was a reader that'd probably put me off. Having it as a series breaks it up a bit :)

Trevor's body temperature was always so high, I'd never been in contact with anyone who just felt so _hot_ all the time. That was my first groggy thought when I woke up with his arms wrapped around me, just as tightly as they'd been when I fell asleep. My second thought was wondering why I was waking up next to him in the first place, when my home was the meth lab, and my bed was that shitty little mattress on the floor, and I shared that with Randy.

My mind cleared suddenly, at the thought of his name, and I remembered. I remembered every agonising detail, right down to individual cracks in the hospital floor, those cracks that I stared at before hearing the news. The news that my best friend was dead. I went rigid, and Trevor must've noticed, since he was apparently already awake. I felt him shift his position so he could see my face.

"Cupcake." He whispered. His breath, almost as hot as his arms, danced over my neck and suddenly I felt stifled. I fidgeted in his arms until his grip on my waist loosened, then I sat up and swung my legs over the edge of the bed. He made a small, questioning sound.

"Its fucking hot in here." I muttered, my voice small. I dragged my hands over my face then got up and walked into the next room, swatting my hands in front of my face to try and catch some air. I felt strange, my tummy hurt and I felt sick. My mouth tasted horrible, the burger I'd eaten yesterday still lingering on my taste buds. I walked over to the bag of stuff Trevor had foraged from the lab last night and quickly found my toothbrush.

"You okay?" Trevor leaned against the doorway of his bedroom and watched me go into the bathroom.

"No. I feel like shit." I told him honestly before starting to brush my teeth. My head was starting to hurt, and I immediately regretted my decision to drink last night. "You got any aspirin?" I asked him with a mouthful of toothpaste.

"I must have somewhere." He told me, and I heard him moving around in the trailer. After a moment he handed me an almost empty pack of aspirin, I smiled at him appreciatively before rinsing my mouth out and taking the pills. 

"Thank you." I turned to him and said, he waved his hand dismissively.

"No worries, you want something to eat?" He asked me, turning to grab a bowl from the cupboard, and filling it up with cereal. 

"No thanks, I'm not really hungry." I told him, aware of the ache in my stomach that was too low to be hunger pains... That got me thinking, I worked out in my head what the date was and oh fuck. 

I slid the bathroom door shut and went to do my business, ignoring the filthy state the toilet was in, and had my fears confirmed. I sighed, I'd somehow forgotten over the past few weeks that yes, I was in fact a woman, and yes, I did have a menstrual cycle to keep track of. I glanced around the room, I don't know why I bothered though, I wouldn't find anything I needed. Trevor was a man, for god's sake, he wouldn't need to keep female hygiene products in his bathroom. I cringed. I wanted to cry. This would be humiliating.

"Tr-Trevor?" I called out, leaning up to the small crack at the edge of the door.

"Yeah?" He replied, seemingly with his mouth full of cereal.

"You gotta do me a massive favour." I sighed and leaned my head on the wall. How fucking undignified.

"What's up?" I heard him get up and approach the door.

"Can you- can you run to the store and get me some, uh, girl stuff?" I asked, biting my lip.

"Girl stuff?" He asked, puzzled. I sighed, why are men always so fucking clueless about this shit?

"Yeah, you know... Tampons." I told him, hoping to fucking God I wasn't going to have to explain to him what one of those was.

"Oh, right." He said, realisation obviously hitting him.

"Yeah." 

"Okay, sure, what am I looking for?" He asked, and I heard him shuffling around and getting dressed.

"They'll probably be in a flowery box that says 'Tampons' on it." I snorted and I heard the front door open.

"I'll do my best, baby." He told me, then he was gone. I glanced around the bathroom and groaned. I wasn't going to sit here on the toilet till he got back, so I stuffed a bunch of toilet paper in my drawers and got up. What a mess to be in. I laughed at myself as I walked over to my bag of clothes. I routed through it until I found the white dress I'd bought the other day and slipped it on. I looked down at myself once it was on. Buying these clothes with Randy was one of the last memories I had with him. One of the last happy memories, anyway. 

I stepped over to the sofa and sat down, feeling the corners of my lips involuntarily turn down and a lump build in my throat. Without Trevor here to distract me, and only the silence of the trailer to keep me company, it was difficult to stop the image of my best friend fighting for his life out of my head. The terrible thing was, though, that most of the images in my head weren't even real ones that I'd seen. They were all terrifyingly vivid manifestations of my own imagination. My eyes began to well up, and this time the tears did spill. Only then was it sinking in. Only then did I begin to realise exactly what had happened. Randy was dead, that was that. Another startling thought popped into my head. Someone was responsible for his death. Someone was driving the car that hit him. What happened to them, did they die too? Or did they survive, and were they being punished for taking my brother away from me?

The door swung open, startling me out of thoughts, and my hands immediately went to my face to wipe away my tears. I was expecting Trevor to appear through the doorway, but it wasn't him. It took me a second before I recognised the man who appeared instead. He looked almost as startled as I did when he saw me.

"Uhh." The sound that Wade made was quiet and unsure. He glanced around the trailer before his eyes returned to me, and he took a cautious step into the trailer.

"Hi." I said, rubbing my eyes and sniffing just once before I smiled weakly at him.

"Hi, it's Emily, ain't it?" He asked me, taking another step forwards.

"Yeah, and you're Wade?" I asked, and he nodded. 

"Trevor about?" He glanced around the trailer again.

"He had to go out, should be back soon. You can come in and wait around if you want." I told him and he nodded, gently closing the door before coming to stand in front of me. He had a strange look on his face as looked at me.

"You don't look too happy." He pointed out and I gave a short laugh.

"I'm fine." I lied, and felt my eyes begin to water again.

"You sure?" He asked, and cautiously sat down beside me. I paused for a long time before I shook my head.

"I lost a friend yesterday." I told him quietly, more tears replacing the ones that I'd just wiped away.

"Did you's have an argument or somethin'?" He asked curiously and I smiled in mild amusement at how child-like this guy was. It was kind of comforting. In fact, I found his presence alone somewhat calming, he was just so immediately friendly.

"No, it's not like that. He- he died." I said, and began to fiddle with the hem of my dress.

"Awww man, I'm sorry. That must be sad... I've never lost a friend like that before, there was Daisy Bell and Kush-Chronic, but they just disappeared or somethin' I reckon." He shrugged and looked down at the floor in thought.

"Oh, I hope you find them some day." I told him, and he gave me a small smile.

"Hey, you know what I do when I'm sad?" He asked me, his face suddenly lighting up. 

"What?" I wiped my tears away again and returned his smile.

"I listen to music. You heard of Insane Clown Posse?" He started reaching for his pocket and pulled out his mobile phone, he had a pair of earphones wrapped around it.

"I've heard of that... Yeah. That's the one with the Juggalo thing, right?" I narrowed my eyes, trying to call on the basic knowledge I had of the group.

"That's right, the Juggalo Family." He grinned at me and lifted his arm, showing me those words tattooed on his forearm.

"You guys paint your face up and throw soda everywhere, don't you?" I smiled as I remembered the crazy stuff I'd read on the internet about Juggalo's. He looked away kind of sheepishly and I noticed a little blush creep up on his cheeks.

"It's more than that but, yeah... We-we do that." He nodded and held out an earbud to me. "Can I show you a song?"

"Sure, I like hearing new music." I took the earbud from him and put it in my ear, he put the other one in his own ear.

"This song cheers me up when I'm sad, maybe it could help you." He told me, then I heard the music start up. From what I'd heard about the group's music, it wasn't immediately what I expected. I'd heard people say its all about chopping people up, but the song I was hearing was actually kind of... Nice. 

_This life is tricky, mean and strange. You can only be sure about one thing: change. For worse or for better, maintain, catch wisdom, try to gain brains._

_Truth is, happiness is in your own head, how you perceive shit, believe it is. It's all you, some of us sad fools can't help it, living in a bad mood._

_Shit hurts, then it only gets worse. They don't get it, not even the experts. But trust me, it won't last forever._

_You hit bottom, shit finally gets better._

_To find peace of mind is impossible, forever is plagued with obstacles. So we make the best of good times, we're stuck in play, we can't rewind._

Now I was never one for rap, or anything like that, but by the end of the song I was smiling. You could argue though, that the reason I was smiling was more to do with the fact that Wade, this kid I'd met twice, was genuinely trying to make me happy. That was more touching to me than any meaningful song lyrics. I couldn't help myself when I wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him into my side for a half-hug.

"Did you like it?" He grinned when I hugged him.

"I did. Thanks Wade, you're a really great person, you know that?" I don't know why I was feeling so warmed up to this guy, maybe it was because I was hormonal and his child-like naivety and gentleness sparked some sort if maternal feeling inside of me.

"I'm not that great." He laughed sheepishly and looked down, shrugging.

"You are. You don't know me, yet you're sat here treating me like your best friend. You totally lifted my spirits and I think that's really lovely." I told him honesty, handing back his earbud.

"You just seemed sad and I don't think you deserved to look so down. Some people deserve that but I don't think you do." He shrugged, like it was nothing.

"How do you know I don't deserve it?" I frowned slightly. He knew I was a meth cook, he knew I was a criminal. I've hardly been a good person all my life.

"I don't, but Trevor likes you so you must be a good person. He's smart, and good at reading people." He looked at me and smiled and I felt my cheeks get warm. First of all this kid has an extremely warped sense of reality. What on earth made him think that Trevor, a drug dealer, bank robber, a killer and God only knows what else, would keep the company of _good people_?

"He ever say anything about me to you?" I asked him, my curiosity spiking. 

"Not much, only little things." He shifted his eyes away from me and pouted thoughtfully.

"Like what? Nothing bad, I hope." I laughed and nudged him playfully.

"No, he's never said bad stuff or nothin'. I just know he likes you. He don't talk about you much but when he does, he smiles a lot. He never did that when he spoke about Chef, the one who cooked for us before." He smiled at me and I bit my lip. What he was saying was so cutesy that I wanted to scream.

"How the fuck do you women do this, there's like twenty million different things-" Trevor was grumbling as he pushed through the door, but was immediately silenced when he caught sight of Wade. I noticed that I still had my arm hanging lazily around his shoulders.

"Hey Trevor. Emily said I could come in and wait for you cause you was out." Wade told him and I slowly retracted my arm and stood up.

"Alright, that's fine." Trevor nodded, but he had this strange look on his face. When he looked at me, his eyes darted back and forth between my own. "Have you been crying?"

"Wade was cheering me up, I-I got a little overwhelmed with everything that... Happened." I told him, plastering a small smile on my face to tell him I was okay.

"He was?" He raised a curious brow and glanced past me at Wade.

"I showed her some music." Wade nodded, looking a little nervous for some reason. It was as if Trevor was an undetonated bomb that he was being careful not to set off. 

"Not your insane clown shit, I thought you wanted to cheer her up not drive her to suicide." He rolled his eyes and I frowned a little at him.

"It wasn't bad. It was a nice song that he showed me." I admitted.

"Don't encourage him, he's already badgering me to go with him to the next _Gathering_." Trevor warned, but it was mostly lighthearted.

"Hey Emily, that's an idea. You could come with us!" Wade grinned and Trevor snorted.

"We ain't going. I'm not standing in a room full of fucking clowns." Trevor's eyes flickered to the ground for a moment, and he almost looked uneasy.

"Are... Are you scared of clowns?" I raised a brow slightly at him and his eyes shot up at me immediately, he looked offended.

"No! Why the fuck would _I_ be scared of those stupid motherfuckers? No, it just ain't my thing, Wade, get Ron to go with you." Trevor leaned against the counter and crossed his arms.

"He can't cause of his bad knee, and he thinks they're lizard people. They ain't lizards, Trevor!" Wade said defensively in a whiney voice.

"Wade, go and wait outside for a sec, will ya?" Trevor asked in a strained tone. Wade simply nodded and pottered between us and out of the door. Once he was gone, Trevor lifted up the plastic bag he was carrying.

"You manage to find what I need?" I smiled sheepishly and he nodded.

"I had to ask some chick what I was buying, there was a whole isle of shit to choose from. She told me I should get some of this too. I'm guessing it ain't a necessity but she knows more about it than I do, so..." He reached into the bag and pulled out a bar of chocolate and I grinned. Women. We know each other. 

I walked up to him and took the bag from him. "Thank you." I told him, and leaned in to kiss him on the cheek, but he turned his head at the last minute so our lips met. I felt him smirk against my lips before I broke the kiss and shook my head at him.

"I'll see what Wade wants." He spoke in hushed tones and I nodded. I turned to the restroom as he left, to go and sort myself out. It was a relief to be out of my makeshift diaper/sanitary towel structure. It was also a relief to find out that I hadn't ruined my lovely new white dress.

When I came out of the restroom, Trevor was already back inside, and he was standing by the refrigerator drinking orange juice out of the carton. I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his stomach and nuzzled my face into his back. I guess I just wanted to hold someone. I'd always been touchy feely whilst on my period.

"Hello." He said with a chuckle after audibly gulping down his drink.

"Hi. What did Wade want?" I asked, feeling the muscles in his back contract as he put the orange juice back in the fridge.

"He was asking if there any product to sell yet." He replied, then belched. I smiled in amusement.

"There's some at the lab, not as much as last time but still..." I said, feeling him shift in my arms. I loosened my grip on him as he turned around to face me, he put his hands on either side of my face.

"I told him. Don't worry about meth right now, though." He gave me a quick peck on the lips.

"I want to get back to work soon." I told him and he shook his head.

"You don't have to."

"No, I _want_ to. Doing nothing let's me think about it." I admitted, not needing to specifically address what 'it' was.

"Well okay, but... Don't fuck yourself up. You are allowed to grieve." He uttered his last sentence quietly then playfully squeezed my cheeks together, causing my lips to pout, not unlike a fish. He kissed me again. When he pulled back he looked down at my body and frowned.

"What?" I asked, and he glanced into his bedroom before looking back at me.

"Where'd you get the dress?" He dropped his hands to my hips and leaned back, as if examining my outfit.

"Uh... The discount store. Why?" I raised a brow at him and he smirked.

"You did? Oh, it's just that I have one exactly the same." He shrugged and kissed me again, cutting off any questions I had. "Looks great on you, sweetheart."

"Thanks?" I said oddly, watching him with a confused expression as he let go of me walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song that Wade shows Emily is Insane Clown Posse - Forever. I really like the song and I thought it'd be nice to inject a bit more of Wade's personality into the chapter, and the game makes it obvious that he's a Juggalo ;)
> 
> http://youtu.be/03wadIUaLf0 here's a link to the song if you're interested :)
> 
> As usual, I'd love to hear feedback and I hope you enjoyed!<3


	20. Family Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter we learn more about Em's family, and damn is it crazy. Enjoy!

A week passed, and I finally made myself phone the hospital. I couldn't put it off, I needed to know what was going on with Randy. Turns out they managed to contact his parents, and since his mother was listed as his next of kin, that's who was going to be making all of the arrangements for Randy's burial. 

Randy's mother, a woman who I'd met many times, was one of the kindest people I'd ever known. It'd been years, but I remembered her tendency to constantly put others first. Lucy, short for Lucinda, was her name. Back when I lived with her son's, she used to treat me as her own daughter on the odd occasion she would visit. That still didn't change the fact that it had been five years since I last spoke to her, and I was nervous about calling her. 

"Hello, is this the Lucy Coxston that is related to, uh, Randall?" I asked timidly over the phone. I'd found the number in the telephone directory.

"Randy is my son, may I ask who's calling?" It was her alright, I recognised the voice immediately.

"It's Emily... Do you remember me? I'm the kid who used to bunk with your son, Archie." I told her, momentarily feeling a wave of agonising sympathy for the woman, who had outlived both of her children. I hugged my knees as I sat up on Trevor's bed. Trevor was outside with Ron, helping him with target practice, which was why the occasional gunshot and insult could be heard.

"It's not... Surely, Emily? Oh my, it's been years." I heard her gasp and her last few words were muffled like she was covering her mouth.

"I know it has... I'm sorry for not keeping in touch, after everything that happened with Archie..." I trailed off and bit my lip.

"Its okay, angel, I understand. I suppose you're calling about my younger son." She said and I nodded stupidly before I realised that she couldn't see me.

"Yes, I was wondering if you needed any help with anything... Funeral plans and such." I spoke so quietly that I wondered if she'd heard me.

"Thank you, sweetie. It means a lot that you'd ask, but Gregory and I will be alright." She told me. Gregory was Randy's father, a man I'd never met nor heard much about. All I knew was that he was a journalist and spent a lot of time working.

"Okay, well if there is ever anything you need, just call me. You have my number now."

"Would you like me to send you an invitation for the- the funeral? When it's been organised, I mean." She asked and I swallowed. It was strange talking about Randy's funeral, a day that I just thought would never ever come.

"Please do, I need to be there... I want to be there. I don't have a permanent address per se. I'm kind of in between places at the moment but, I'm staying with a friend for the time being. You can send it there and I'll get it." I told her Trevor's address, and she seemed surprised to find that I'd been living in the desert this whole time.

I knew that Randy kept in touch with his family when we were back in Murrieta Heights, he'd even go to visit them every now and again. But obviously since coming here, that's been difficult. I never went with Randy, or called them myself. Why? I don't know. I guess I was just scared that they'd blame me for Archie's death. Hell, before I called her, I even had a terrifying vision of Lucy chiding me for leading Randy here in the first place, after all, if I hadn't then maybe he'd still be alive. 

We spoke on the phone for a while, simply talking about Randy and some of the happy memories we had of him. It was nice. I ended up feeling like I'd never left, and I'd been with her for these past five years just as closely as I has been before that. When we ended the call, I had a smile on my face. I appreciated the opportunity to speak to somebody who knew and loved Randy as much as I did. It made the grieving part of me feel less lonely.

The past week had been strange. Strange in a kind of way that was alien to me, and it was due to the fact that I was totally correct in thinking that being without Randy would be more weird than anything. Sometimes I felt like he wasn't actually gone, more like he was just at the other end of Sandy Shores at the meth lab while I stayed here with Trevor. It wasn't uncommon for me to suddenly think of something I wanted to talk to Randy about, and it was impossibly _strange_ when I realised that I couldn't. The strangest thing of all though, was the fact that I wasn't constantly agonising over what had happened, like I thought I would be... I even had good days, but of course I also had bad days, and they came like waves, crashing over me and dampening the moments where I was just distracted enough to be somewhat happy. 

But the distractions worked, for the most part, of course. So I'd filled my time with those distractions, and they made up my good days. Spending time with Trevor helped a lot, we'd talk, we'd drink, we'd cuddle and we'd kiss. His company and his huge presence was enough to take my mind off of things and into a different place. He'd also stopped asking if I was okay every five minutes, after the first four days or so, which I appreciated. And when he wasn't around, I had other things to do, such as clean up the trailer so it was a much nicer place to be. I'd even gone as far as cleaning the toilet, which was one hell of a task but a distraction nonetheless. I'd also taken up yoga again, something I used to do a lot in Murrieta Heights to clear my mind and silence my thoughts. 

It wasn't always so simple, though. Sometimes it'd hit me, seemingly randomly, during an unrelated conversation with Trevor, or whilst I'm on my knees scrubbing the kitchen floor, or it would put me off balance in the middle of my _tree pose_. The sudden awareness would knock me of my breath, and I'd go into this insensible stupor where I'd be able to think of nothing but the cold, hard fact that my best friend had left me. It had freaked Trevor out the three times I'd done it in front of him. But it was something that usually happened when I was alone, and when it happened, I had no concept of time or even my own surroundings. Those made my bad days.

I tossed my phone onto the bedside table and started to get undressed, it was time for a shower. I made a quick, naked dash from the bedroom into the bathroom and quickly slid the door shut. Trevor's shower didn't have a curtain, oddly enough, so I placed a towel onto the floor to soak up any water that splashed out, and hopped in. The water was cold, but then again I hardly expected it to be hot. I'd learned that if you wanted a warm shower around here, you'd better like it fucking boiling. There was no in between.

I'd been in the shower all of ten minutes, and was just rinsing the shampoo out of my hair when the bathroom door slid open and Trevor popped his head around the corner. I made a futile attempt to cover myself up before I remembered that there was nothing for him to see that he hadn't before.

"Mind if I take a slash, sweetheart?" He asked me and I shrugged.

"Go ahead." I told him, then turned my back to him as he let himself in. 

"I was thinking, we should go out today. Get you some fresh air." I heard him call over the noise of the shower.

"Fresh air?" I raised a brow in amusement.

"Yeah. You ain't bored of being cooped up in here? It's been days." He asked and I shrugged.

"I guess it could be nice to- _ah fuck!_ " I yelled, shooting out of the shower like a bat out of hell, crashing into Trevor's back after he'd flushed the toilet.

"What?" He turned, his voice just as loud and urgent as mine.

"You flushed, the fucking shower turned hotter than hell." I hit him in his shoulder and he laughed.

"Ah shit, sorry baby." He ran his hand gently over the pink skin on my shoulder where the hot water had touched me. It tingled.

"Don't laugh!" I narrowed my eyes at him before throwing myself at him with the intention of getting him drenched to piss him off. I rubbed my hair against his shirt, and soon enough he was completely soaked. It took me a minute to realise that he wasn't pushing me away, but instead pulling me closer.

"Fuck, Em..." I heard the grin in his voice and I pulled back to look at him with a little angry pout on my face.

"Revenge." I told him, and turned back to the shower.

"That was revenge? I thought you were just trying to turn me on." He snickered and I turned to look at him with wide eyes.

"I wasn't trying-" I started, my face turning deep red.

"Rubbing up against me when you're all naked and wet like that, 's gonna get a reaction." He stared me down as I stepped backwards into the shower, that had returned to it's previous temperature. He stepped in with me, fully clothed, and my eyes widened.

"Trev-" I exclaimed, but he cut me off with a sudden kiss. I shoved him backwards and shook my head in disbelief. "You're crazy."

"Only for you." He grinned at me yet didn't resist when I pushed him out of the shower. 

"Just let me finish my shower. And don't get water everywhere." I told him with an amused smile and turned away from him. I heard him chuckle as he left.

After my shower, I wrapped myself in a towel and headed out of the bathroom. I went into the bedroom where Trevor was lying on the bed, having already changed out of his wet clothes. He was wearing a red plaid flannel shirt, which hung open and revealed his bare chest, and a pair of dark blue jeans. I turned my back to him and dropped my towel, picking up the outfit I'd laid out for myself on the floor. I'd just about put my underwear on when he spoke up.

"I was being serious when I said we should do something today." He said, when I turned to look at him he had his eyes on me, and he was pulling at the loose threads around a hole in the knee of his jeans.

"What do you wanna do?" I asked before pulling a pale yellow T-shirt over my head.

"No, what do _you_ want to do? I want to take you somewhere that you wanna go." He sat up and scooted to the edge of the bed and put his hands on my hips as I buttoned up my high waisted shorts. My bottom lip jutted out in thought.

"I'm not sure, what is there to do around here?" I asked and he paused for a minute, before shrugging.

"Lots... I mean there's a few bars around here."

"It's barely past noon," I ran my hands over the muscles on his shoulders, "even I think it's too early to hit the bar."

"Alright then, what's an acceptable thing to do this time of day?" He challenged with a smile.

"Go for a run, maybe go hiking," I shrugged, "I don't know, something out in nature."

"Nature." He repeated, sounding half confused and half intrigued.

"Nature, you know. Trees and animals and stuff." I grinned at him and climbed onto his lap. He narrowed his eyes at me in mock offense.

"I know what nature is, thank you." His gaze softened and his hands slid up my back. "I was thinking... I know somewhere you might like, you ever been to Cassidy Creek?" 

I shook my head. "Its nearby though, right?"

"Runs through Raton Canyon." He nodded. "Its a nice spot, I could take you there."

"Okay, and we can go swimming?" I suggested and he nodded.

"If that's what you want." He told me with a fond smile and I grinned.

"I'd like that." I climbed off of his lap and pulled him up by his hand. "Let's go."

"As you wish, princess." He willingly followed as I lead him outside. We both got into his truck, which was parked in front of my own car. The lovely red Oracle that Trevor had sent Ron to pick up from Paleto Bay just a few days ago. I hadn't had a chance to test drive her since. That would be a distraction for another day.

-

The drive over to Raton Canyon was short, but pleasant. It started off on a high note as Trevor, once he'd seen my badly hidden wince, had silently changed the radio station over from Chanel X to Rock Radio. A small gesture, yet one that made me feel strangely warmed. He was starting to turn soft. The drive allowed me to take in more of the scenery around Blaine County, which was nice considering it appeared to be my new home, and I'd only seen a very small portion of it. At first glance, the place was a dump. But if you looked past the run down buildings and littered roadsides, the natural beauty of the place was easy to see. It had everything it needed to be beautiful; it was right by the sea, surrounded by breathtaking mountains, and was dowsed in near constant sunshine. It just hadn't been looked after, it seemed.

Trevor pulled over after a few minutes of driving over the bumpy terrain that Cassidy Creek ran next to. He'd stopped at a nice spot, where the water was relatively calm, yet there was a small waterfall nearby which was impossible not to find relaxing. It really was a beautiful place to be, plant life was abundant and the walls of the canyon sat tall above us, giving the whole place this secluded, encased feel. We'd spotted a few hikers on the way here, but the spot Trevor had chosen seemed quiet, and there had been no sign of anyone in the surrounding area.

"This close enough to nature for you?" Trevor turned to me with a little smirk once he'd cut the engine.

"I should think so." I winked at him before opening the car door and jumping out. I walked over to the edge of the water and looked down. I noticed a couple of small fishes heading downstream. "It'd be a nice place to come and do yoga one morning."

"You do yoga?" Trevor came up beside me and gave me a quizzical look.

"Sometimes." I shrugged. "I do it when you have to go out. Or sometimes early in the morning when you're asleep. It helps to empty my mind."

"Hmm, you know... I realised something the other day." He spoke slowly, quietly, weighing up his words carefully.

"And what's that?" I asked, glancing at him curiously before taking a seat, cross legged on the ground. He stayed standing for a moment before he joined me, resting his elbows on his knees.

"I don't know that much about... You." He looked into the water as he spoke, he almost looked nervous. "And that's weird, right? Cause I have these, ah, _feelings_ for you. I mean, I don't even know your fucking surname." He chuckled a little and glanced up at me.

"You don't? Fuck, I thought told you." I raised my brows and he just shook his head. "Whittington."

"Whittington?" He repeated, and I returned the odd smile he gave me. "That sounds fancy. Emily Whittington."

"I know. It's upper middle class as fuck. It's terrible." I snorted when I laughed and he grinned at me. "What else don't you know?" 

"I don't know about your family, or your goals, aspirations. Your interests." He shrugged and I was taken aback by how genuine his interest seemed.

"Interests, huh? Well you know I like music. That's the biggest one. I've always played the drums, I've dabbled in the guitar and I guess I can sing." I told him as I pulled my shoes off and dipped my feet in the water. It was warmer than I'd expected it to be, but then again, it was one of the hottest days I'd experienced in Blaine County so far.

"You sing?" He asked, with that curious edge to his voice that was present in anyone who happened to find out that someone they know sings. I shook my head immediately.

"Don't fucking ask me to sing for you." I told him and his shoulders slumped subtly.

"Why not?" He asked, seemingly disappointed.

"Because I don't like to... Give me a drum kit and I'll play for as long as you want but singing? It's out of my comfort zone." I spoke almost defensively.

"Alright, I won't ask you." He held his hands up in defeat and chuckled a bit.

"I used to want to play the drums for a living. I worked so hard for it, practiced every day. I was a huge nerd at school, too. Straight A student." I said after a period of silence, it was impossible to fully hide the disappointment in my voice. If Trevor wanted to know more about me, I'd do my best to oblige him.

"Seriously?" He asked, way too surprised for my liking.

"What, you think I can't be smart?" I asked, passing it off as a joke when in actual fact, it was a genuine question.

"Come on, you know that's not..." He trailed off with a playful roll of his eyes. "I just find it strange, with you being so strong willed, that you're here instead of doing what _you wanted_ to do."

I sighed. "Well, I let Archie drag me into his world. I was just a kid when I moved in with him and the others."

"Do you regret it?" 

"I can't. At the time, I felt it was my only option. I felt like he was the only person I could trust after-" I cut myself off, remembering that I hadn't told him what exactly had caused me to move in with him.

"After..." He prompted me to continue, looking at me with wide, curious eyes like he was engrossed in my story.

"After I found out that my brother was in fact my, uh, my father." I said quietly. This was something that I'd spoken only to Randy about. I felt like I was revealing this big, juicy secret and the silence that followed was terrible.

"What?" He said in a low, dumbfounded voice after a while.

"My mother's husband, Christian, already had a son when they got married. His name's Lucas and the short description is that well, my mother, Anne, slept with Lucas. And that's how I came into the world." I waved my hands around theatrically as I said the last sentence.

"Shit, that's... How old was Lucas when, uh-" he sounded just as awkward as I felt.

"He wasn't a kid or anything, he was twenty something... But basically they all passed me off as Christian's kid and Lucas's half-sister. It all came out when I was fourteen and that's- that's why I decided to move in with Archie."

"Fuck, Em... That's just, that's fucked up." I could sense him staring at me and my cheeks burned.

"Yeah. It is." I shrugged, trying to convince myself that I'd come to terms with the fact that the man I'd called Papa for half of my life wasn't my father at all. I hadn't, not by a long shot. Even thirteen years later.

"I just think it's funny that it never occurred to anyone that Lucas's white blond hair came from his mother so... It makes no sense that I'd have it unless I was related to _her_. Both my mother and Christian are brunette." I laughed, but it was dry and humourless.

"So, like, do you call Lucas dad, now? Or do you still see Christian as your father?" He asked, sounding genuinely curious.

"Neither... They both lied to me my whole life to protect the family's rep. What'd the neighbours think if they found out that my mother fucked her step son?" I snorted and shook my head. "I don't really feel like I have a real dad, haven't seen either of them in years."

"I _get_ that. My dad was a fuck-face drunk who couldn't keep his abuse away from me or my mother. My wonderful mother, who deserves so much better." I looked over to him to see his fists balled up and his face twisted into an angry scowl.

"So we both have daddy issues." I gave him a little smile when he looked at me and he seemed to simmer. He took a loud, deep breath then stood up.

"Enough of this shit. It turned too depressing too quick." He pulled his shirt off and threw it into the bed of his truck. His boots and jeans came next, leaving him in just his white underwear. I wondered what he was doing, stripping down in public, but then he ran up and jumped into the creek. The splash he caused drenched me and I gasped.

"Fuck." I muttered, glancing down at my shirt which had turned slightly see through.

"Strip. Get in." He grinned at me from the middle of the water and I shrugged. I got up and pulled my shorts and my T-shirt off, hanging them over the side of Trevor's truck, hoping they'd dry.

"Glad I went with these instead of a g-string." I told him with a smirk, snapping the elastic of my navy blue boy shorts against my skin. I tiptoed into the water until I reached him, and he slipped his hands to my waist underwater.

"You have g-strings? Where the fuck have you been hiding those?" He raised an eyebrow, intrigued. I wrapped my arms around his neck, letting my hands hang between his shoulder blades.

"You wanna see me in them? I have a really nice one... Its like, electric blue and it's all lacy, and it has this little bow on the back." I told him innocently, watching his eyes slowly narrow and look me up and down. I could tell he was picturing what I was describing.

"You got any in pink, or maybe a cute pale blue?" He drawled slowly, his hands sliding down my sides and eventually around to my butt.

"I do... I have a pretty lilac one too." I grinned at him as he lifted me up, and I wrapped my legs around his hips.

"Mmm, I like those sweet pale colours on you. You look fucking adorable, all innocent and delicate..." He told me in a quiet growl. I leaned in and kissed him, he made this quiet sound at the back of his throat, he almost sounded desperate. It'd been a week since we'd done anything more than cuddle or make out. I'd wanted to, fuck I wanted to... But I hadn't been sleeping well, and that paired with my period, meant sex wasn't something I was feeling up to doing. But now, the only thing stopping us was the fact that we were in a public place.

"Fuck, I want you..." He mumbled against my lips as he broke the kiss, things were getting heated and I knew if I didn't stop things now, we'd both be arrested for rutting in a popular hiking area, so I pressed my hands against his chest and pushed away from him in the water. He reached for me immediately but I slipped from his grasp with ease, giggling.

"Remember where we are." I grinned at him and he pouted.

"I don't care, we could be in front of a fucking audience right now, I'd still bend you over that rock over there and take you from behind." His voice was low and gravelly with arousal.

"But what if I wanted you to lay down on the bank and let me ride you, instead? You know I like being on top." I couldn't resist the urge to goad and tease him. I was floating on my back with my legs kicking out in front of me. He grabbed my foot and pulled me closer to him. 

"Then I would let you do just fucking that." His voice almost sounded angry and his eyes bored into my own intensely. "I'd let you do anything you wanted, scratch me, bite me, straddle my fucking face if you want. Just let me have you." 

"You'd let me straddle your face?" I asked with a giddy laugh, kicking my foot out of his hand. He swam towards me, pushing my legs open and backing me up against the rock he'd said he wanted to bend me over. He planted himself between my legs, pressing his pelvis against mine, pinning me in place. I could feel his hard on clear as day.

"I'd be fucking honoured." He growled. I bit my lip. We were past the point of no return, there was no way Trevor was going to calm down. Especially not while he was rutting his hips and seemingly trying to rub one out against my clothed crotch. He put his hands either side of my head against the rock and leaned over me, totally in control.

Now I had a dilemma. I could tell him to stop, and he would, and I'd make him drive us back to the trailer. Then we'd continue what I'd basically encouraged him to start. But then again, I'd never fucked in public and it was something that had always intrigued me. And we hadn't seen anyone the entire time we'd been here, so...

I guess I'd spoken, or rather thought, too soon, because I heard voices coming from a ways down the pavement. At this point, Trevor had his face pressed into my shoulder and was thrusting his hips as if he really was inside me. He was huffing and groaning and was no doubt lost in the moment, oblivious to his surroundings. So it was up to me to stop us from getting caught in the dirty act.

"Trevor." I whispered, though my voice was shaky since the head of his cock had made itself comfortable grinding up and down my opening. I grabbed his biceps and attempted to pry him off of me.

"That's it, say my name." He grunted, then began to suck on my neck. I couldn't suppress my moan, momentarily forgetting that we were _about to get fucking caught!_

"Shit, you gotta stop." I eventually came back to my senses and pushed him away with a decent amount of force. He frowned at me for a second before his eyes darted to the two hikers that had just appeared from behind his truck. Then he laughed. I raised a brow at him and shook my head.

"They almost got us." He whispered to me with a wink then grabbed my hand and pulled me towards him. "Let's go home, yeah?" 

"Yeah, let's. It's not illegal in your own home." I shook my head at him again and grinned. I turned and waded over to the edge of the water and got out. I pulled my clothes on, feeling them stick to my wet skin. I didn't mind though, they'd be coming off again soon.

When Trevor got out, I couldn't help but glance down. His hard length strained against the wet fabric of his underwear, which had turned almost completely transparent... Christ. It was an arousing sight to say the least. He caught me staring and wiggled his eyebrows at me playfully.

"Like what you see?" He asked and I blushed.

"Yes. Now hurry up, the sooner we get back, the better."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two, eh? You just can't leave them alone for five minutes. Next chapter (last of this part of the series) will contain sex. Yipee!
> 
> I just wanna thank everyone who comments and leaves kudos on this fic, you're a big part of the reason why I don't just give up when I start losing motivation. You're the best :D


	21. Level Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, last one in this part of the series! Keep your eyes peeled for more in the next part :)

Even if I wanted to move, there was no way I could ever break away from his grip. He was way too strong, stronger than I'd originally thought. With his arms hooked tightly around my thighs, keeping me in place even through my squirming, there was no escaping. I eventually just accepted my fate, and let him continue to assault my nether regions with his tongue in a way that gave me pleasure that was so intense, I felt the urge to wriggle away from him. Christ. Trevor wasn't lying when he said he'd let me straddle his face... Hell, he'd practically forced me once we'd got back to his trailer. Not before I'd shown him the g-strings I owned, of course. He'd picked a baby pink one out for me, which was mostly just sheer fabric but had a little lace around the top edge. He was holding the fabric to the side as he worked on me.

"Fuck, Trevor..." I groaned, using my hands to support me, pressing them into the mattress above his head as I looked down into the smouldering brown eyes that stared up intently at me. He groaned and I felt the tremor of his sounds against me.

"I'm gonna come before we even get properly started, is that what you want?" I asked him, then bit my bottom lip as he slipped his tongue inside me. He made a humming sound as a confirmation. 

"Fuck me..." I sighed figuratively, and I felt him chuckle and I knew if he had access to his words, he'd make some comment about being patient or something. "When did you become so fucking good at this?"

His tongue slipped out from inside of me and went to my clitoris, rolling the little bump around in circles and fuck it felt good. We'd been doing this for about ten minutes and every time I was about to climax, he'd slow his movements and the sensation would be lost. Of course, he was doing that on purpose and of course, I knew that he was only doing it to make my orgasm more intense. But it had gotten to the point where I was boiling hot and covered with a sheen of sweat, and my heart was beating so fast that I thought I might have some sort of cardiovascular issue by the end of it all. I just wanted to come.

"Oh fuck... That's right, don't you dare fucking stop!" I yelled, embarrassingly loudly, as he picked up the pace of his movement and he was flicking my clitoris back and forth with his tongue. My whole lower body tingled.

"God, I'm gonna come, Trevor... Keep doing that, yeah, _that_... Fuck." My eyes squeezed shut despite my efforts to keep them open. I'd love to have been able to look him in they eye as he pushed me over the edge, but beggars can't be chooser's I guess. When my orgasm began to make an appearance, Trevor didn't try to stop it, and for that I was grateful, the pleasure slowly built until _boom_. The full impact of my climax finally hit and it was enough to make my entire body shake, and I involuntarily rocked my hips back and forth against him as Trevor continued to work on me through the intense orgasm I had. It felt like the longest climax I'd ever had, so long in fact that there was a split second where I began to worry it would never end before my muscles started to relax.

"Jesus fucking Christ." I sighed breathlessly once I'd come down enough to open my eyes. I shakily lifted myself up off of Trevor once he'd released his hulk grip on my thighs and when I moved back to straddle his hips instead, he gave me this cheshire smile. The area surrounding his lips and chin were visibly wet and I didn't know whether to feel embarrassed or aroused by the sight. 

"That was the hottest fucking thing..." He sat up and cupped my face with his clammy hands. "That I've ever fucking bared witness to."

I leaned forward and kissed him, and he kissed back immediately and eagerly. I grabbed hold of his wrists as he slipped his tongue into my mouth and pulled him closer. I could feel his hard on against my backside, and I wanted it inside me more than ever. I broke the kiss and shuffled backwards, keeping hold of his wrist with one hand for support and using my other hand to grab his cock, intending to guide him inside me.

"Hold it." He said suddenly and I looked up at him curiously. He grabbed me by my shoulders and pushed me off of him and rolled me onto my tummy. "Let me be the dominant one for a change, okay?" He grinned at me devilishly.

"Alright, okay... I'm not opposed to a little change." I turned my head to the side so I could watch him as he came up behind me and pulled my legs open, kneeling between them.

"I've always fucking wanted to take you from behind, so I could see this sweet little ass of yours." He gave my right buttcheek a smack which made me gasp. He then pulled me up by my hips so I was on my knees with my chest to the mattress. He hooked his fingers in the elastic of my underwear and pulled them down, once he'd got them off, he stretched them between his two index fingers and let them go so they would ping across the room.

"Less of the fooling around, more of the taking me from behind." I told him sternly, yet with a smile. He chuckled lasciviously and grabbed my buttcheeks, squeezing them hard as he lined himself up at my opening. He pushed in, hardly needing to take it slow with how wet and relaxed I was after my climax. He hummed pleasantly once he was inside, and wasted no time in beginning to thrust. My muscles twitched and tightened around him, and I knew it wouldn't take much to have me coming again.

"Ah, shit... You always feel so fucking good." He growled through bared teeth as he started to establish a nice rhythm. He was squeezing and spreading and occasionally spanking my buttcheeks as he thrust in and out of me.

"So do you, baby." I replied, my voice shaking.

"Your fucking ass..." He sighed and shook his head. "It's a fucking work of art." He gave it another slap.

"Mmm, you like spanking me?" I asked him, my voice still wobbling so it didn't sound as seductive as I really wanted it to. His eyes flickered from my behind up to my face.

"Oh you bet I do." He let go of my ass so he could hold his weight above me as he leaned down, his chest flush to my back. He whispered in my ear. "You like getting your ass smacked? You deserve it, a naughty little thief like you."

" _Moi_? A thief?" I spoke with mock offense, my lips forming a shocked little O shape. My facade soon crumbled though, when he sunk his teeth into my shoulder. Not hard enough to break skin, but hard enough to smart a little. I shuddered and whimpered, he'd chosen a sensitive spot.

"Yeah. A thief." He brought a hand to the little crook that formed where my leg met my hip, using it to pull me back against him with each thrust. He was grunting and breathing heavily into my ear and fuck me was it hot. 

"The diamonds? You encouraged me on that one, you're the bad influence." I spoke through heavy breaths, and I tripped over my words a lot. There was little finesse to my reply, and it must've had something to do with how fucking _good_ he was making me feel.

He chuckled at my response and planted a kiss on my shoulder before leaning back up to grab my ass again. "I was referring more to the heart that you stole, from me." His voice was gentle and surprisingly controlled considering what we were doing.

"Oh..." I breathed. If my heart wasn't racing before, it was now. He suddenly picked up the pace of his thrusts.

"Fuck, baby..." He grunted and I made a long, shaky groaning sound in response. My legs had slipped down slightly on the bed, so he pulled my hips up again to bring my butt further into the air.

"I'm close." I sighed, pushing myself onto my elbows so I could look back at him more easily.

"Mmh, I fucking love you." He said loudly. His voice was consumed by lust, and it cracked halfway through his sentence. He ran his hands up and down my sides, stopping every now and then to sqeeze my soft flesh. He was really giving it his all now, and my muscles were tense, I was so ready for release.

"F-fuck, 'm gonna come. You feel so good!" He spoke through gasps and clenched teeth. He was pulling this angry yet desperate looking face, the face he always pulled when he was close. Oh God he looked so hot, and that look combined with his words was what eventually brought me over the edge.

"Ohh God!" My elbows gave out and I collapsed back onto my chest as my second climax hit, I was panting and whimpering like I always did, absorbed in the sensation, my only thoughts were focussed on what I was feeling in the moment. I felt Trevor's cock twitching and pulsing inside of me, and I heard him groan for a few seconds before he suddenly grunted and pulled out. I could feel him release his load over my slit as he dug his nails into my backside.

"Mmh, baby girl..." I heard him say quietly through heavy breaths once he'd finished. I turned my head to look at him with wide, inquisitive eyes when I felt his hand slide between my legs, and his thumb press against my sensitive parts, gently spreading the delicate folds. I could feel his come leave my body and begin to roll down my leg. I realised then that he'd pulled out just late enough for him to blow half of his load inside of me. In that moment, I was too spent to care.

"You never made that much mess when I was on top," I commented breathlessly once I'd flipped over onto my back and caught sight of the sticky white substance that resided between my legs. "Maybe you should let me take the lead from now on." I sat up and grabbed his wrists, using my momentum to push him onto his back so I could kneel between his legs.

"Nice try, sweetheart. I enjoyed having you beneath me way too much to commit to giving you all the control, I don't care how messy it gets." He leaned up and nipped my jaw and my neck with a growl.

"Alright, then. I suppose I can deal with changing it up once in a while, but only because you seem to know how to please me." I said, getting a smug laugh in return. He grabbed my hands and rolled us over so he was hovering over me instead.

"Tell me this, Em." He moved one hand to the mattress beside my head, and kept hold of my hand with the other. "How bad have you got it for me?"

"How bad have I got it?" I raised a brow quizzically.

"Yeah. How strong are these feelings you told me you had for me?" He bent down and kissed my collar bone.

"Why?" I asked, an almost defensive tone to my voice.

"Because I'm trying to work out if we're on the same level." He told me, his eyes momentarily dropping to my lips then back up to my eyes.

"Well, what level are you on?" I asked, feeling almost shy.

"I'd say level eight." 

"Oh come on, what does that mean?" I frowned and he pursed his lips.

"It means, answer my questions before you ask your own." He had a very serious look in his eye, and my heart started to beat faster.

"Alright! I guess I... I, uh." I nibbled on my lip and he looked at me expectantly.

"Emily." He sighed, getting irritated.

"I like you a lot! You know that, I make it obvious..." 

"You make it obvious that you like to have sex with me." He shrugged. "But I want proof of this being more than that."

"Bullshit." I sat up suddenly, forcing him onto his knees. "I make it obvious that I like you as more than a fuck buddy, Trevor."

"How?" 

"Holy shit. Do you ever listen to me?" I jabbed him in the chest with my index finger. "The other day at the cookhouse, did you even hear a thing I said about wanting to stay here with you forever?"

"I did! What I'm asking is; how _much_ do you like me? And is it just a matter of attraction or is it more than that?" He grabbed the finger I pressed into his chest and held it there.

"You really don't understand how serious I was being, do you? I don't just _like_ you, Trevor. I fucking _love_ you." I shouted angrily, I thought my feelings had been clear from what I'd told him before, but he just didn't seem to be getting it. I blinked at him when his immediate response was to just smile.

"That's all I needed to hear." He let go of my finger and sat back on his heels.

"You know... If that was what you wanted to hear, you could have just asked 'do you love me?'." I told him with wide eyes.

"I could have, but then you would have just said yes or no. I wanted to hear you say it in your own words." He was still smiling at me, and it wasn't some cocky victorious smile or anything. It was just a nice, warm smile of contentment.

"I see." I said slowly and narrowed my eyes at him. "And what about you?"

"Me? Fuck, I'm smitten." He grabbed my hands and pulled me onto his lap.

"Really?" I rest my forehead against his, our faces were so close that I could feel his breath on my lips. "Are we both on level eight?" I teased him.

"If that's what we're calling it." He gave me a slightly vexed look at my mocking. "I'm in love with you, even though you do snort when you laugh." He told me with such sincerity, that I almost overlooked his insult. Almost.

"Well at least I don't have terrible taste in music." I leaned away from him just slightly.

"Trust me sweetheart, you do." He laughed and I gasped, genuinely shocked that he thought that. My taste in music was awesome.

"Don't say that, that actually upsets me." I wasn't really upset. I just wanted him to take it back.

"Alright, sweetheart, fine. I guess some of it's alright." He looked down at my chest in thought and I smiled.

"Like what?" I challenged him and he sighed in exasperation.

"Def Leppard. They're okay, the other stuff's too, ah, too soft." He admitted with a sour look on his face.

"Ah, I thought you might say that." I nodded with a knowing smile.

"Why, cause I recognised the lyric of theirs that you said right before we slept together for the first time?" He grinned at me, mockingly. I thought back to the moment I'd told him to 'pour some sugar on me' and blushed. It had sounded less cringey at the time, I swear.

"No, because their music just sounds like something I thought you'd enjoy." I corrected him sternly and he laughed.

"God, you're adorable." He shook his head then wrapped his arms around my waist. He pulled me backwards so I was laying on top of him, my head resting in the crook of his neck. "I fuckin' love you." He mumbled against the top of my head after planting a kiss there.

"I love you too." I whispered with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so the next part of the series is already up, check it out here http://archiveofourown.org/works/3460082/chapters/7592420
> 
> Thanks for reading/commenting/kodosing! You're all awesome!


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